Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Down the Lane at Christmas time,

Mistletoe. And expensive mulled wine.

Good luck if you think you can buy a house here,

Tangerines, sourdough and facial hair beer?.


Fresh pasta and sushi and other such fads,

Nick Drake on the iPhone and Hipster Lite dads,

A long queue at Begbie's for a thin number five,

A pint at the Bishop for a post Sainsbo's skive.


Shops selling good stuff, stores selling shite,

Boulangerie Jade. Roullier White.

And suits off the train as they march with their feet,

Shopkeepers bid Fox good day down the street,


(Pushing my buggie without inhibition,

For a warm spiced rum. At the Great Exhibition.)

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/52362-amateur-poets-corner/
Share on other sites

A good first effort your lordship,

if the aim was helping me to "lose my shit".

Apologies if the following sounds like a rant

but your cute little ditty has twisted my pants.


Hipsters and buggies are ruining this place.

In 1994 you could see the odd face

without piercings or beards or something else shifty

and we once had an average age of near fifty.


These new-folk rattle on about progress and change

but this gentrification is downright deranged.

20 years later and what have we got?

Another f*ckin' italian in the mexican's old spot.


Cheese on toast, it's the same old story,

you'll find a much healthier meal in the Dulwich Tandoori

if you have space for dessert go to kebab and wine

Five pounds of your hard earned and nutritionally fine.


A post-prandial drink in the Cherry Tree

would be ill-advised if you're asking me

The staff are brutes and the place is doomed

lets hope wetherspoons revives it with microwave food.


etc.

I remember when this was fields

Not buy to let with piss poor yields

North Cross Road was almost dead,

Not all clogged up with four quid bread


Many locals wanted away

To lovely Bromley they hoped one day

They lood at newbies from their fence

?all these yuppies more money than sense?


A Friday night down on the lane?

A pint? a curry? Pretty tame

For those that find it new and strange

You can do F all about such change

The greatest poem ever:


Oh, I wish I?d looked after me teeth,

And spotted the dangers beneath

All the toffees I chewed,

And the sweet sticky food.

Oh, I wish I?d looked after me teeth.


I wish I?d been that much more willin?

When I had more tooth there than fillin?

To give up gobstoppers,

From respect to me choppers,

And to buy something else with me shillin?.


When I think of the lollies I licked

And the liquorice allsorts I picked,

Sherbet dabs, big and little,

All that hard peanut brittle,

My conscience gets horribly pricked.


My mother, she told me no end,

?If you got a tooth, you got a friend.?

I was young then, and careless,

My toothbrush was hairless,

I never had much time to spend.


Oh I showed them the toothpaste all right,

I flashed it about late at night,

But up-and-down brushin?

And pokin? and fussin?

Didn?t seem worth the time ? I could bite!


If I?d known I was paving the way

To cavities, caps and decay,

The murder of fillin?s,

Injections and drillin?s,

I?d have thrown all me sherbet away.


So I lie in the old dentist?s chair,

And I gaze up his nose in despair,

And his drill it do whine

In these molars of mine.

?Two amalgam,? he?ll say, ?for in there.?


How I laughed at my mother?s false teeth,

As they foamed in the waters beneath.

But now comes the reckonin?

It?s methey are beckonin?

Oh, I wish I?d looked after me teeth.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • The problem with delivery people nowadays is that they are on such a restrictive schedule that they literally have to just try to deliver and run, otherwise they are penalised. I understand the frustration though.   And good luck making any kind of complaint to Evri. I once sold a laptop on ebay, took it to the Evri pick-up, where it was processed and it then went 'missing' between their pick-up place and the hub. Went through a long, long process where they offered me a desultory amount in compensation and I had to take them to small claims court before they came up with a fair offer the day before we were due to be in court. Long story short, Evri are shite.   Go to look at this forum for the number of people who have issues: https://nationalconsumerservice.co.uk/forum/183-postal-and-delivery-services/
    • I haven't had a rude EVRI delivery but last week I had an unexpected delivery at 10.42 pm. He didn't ring the bell or knock on the door (or rattle the letter flap) but just took a photo and put the box down.  If it hadnt been for the door camera giving us a beep we would never have known there was a parcel ready to sit there all night.  
    • Sorry if I’m being slow but there’s no point in having a gate then is there?  Would have thought it was basic manners to respect someone’s property 
    • I didn't say wedge it "slightly" open. I meant to wedge it fully open. 
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...