Drink Yourself Healthy - The dipsomaniac?s guide to everlasting life.

[Brendan]

Our conversation on another thread about gout got me thinking about the positive health effects of alcohol. Who wants to focus on the bad all the time? We have all heard about a glass of wine or a pint of the black stuff being good for you.

So I?ve been on the internet and found some highly scientific stuff about what drinks are good for you.

In order to get the full benefit of the products available in your local wine shop it will take some dedication but here is the list of what you will need to drink every day:

1 pint of Guinness ? It has antioxidants which reduce heart clots and heart attacks. Although the thing everyone believes about it containing loads of iron is bollocks.

1 pint of beer ? It contains mineral silicon for your bones.

1 glass of white wine ? Antioxidants again but these ones are good for your lungs.

1 glass of port ? It doesn?t have any major health benefits but it does contain antioxidants and you can?t get too many of those.

2 glasses of red wine ? This stuff is the tits when it comes to beneficial booze. That?s why you should have 2 glasses just for good measure. It contains B vitamins, potassium, iron and antioxidants of all the colours of the rainbow. It protects you against heart disease, Alzheimer's, diabetes, strokes and it helps you sleep.

1 glass of sherry ? It helps produce good cholesterol which is good because it does for the bad cholesterol.

1 glass of whisky ? To prevent stokes and cataracts and supports the Scottish economy which will in turn stop the Scots from invading England, marching on London, coming ?round yours and being very bad for your health indeed.

1 glass of brandy ? More antioxidants. In fact good quality brandy is apparently about as good for you as taking a vitamin supplement.

Finally 1 glass of Baileys ? It isn?t really good for you but the cream and sugar help slow down alcohol intake and after 9 other drinks that will probably be handy.

Disclaimer: If you are reading this and you think that it is actually sound medical advice and not the just the booze deprived ravings of a demented office worker, or in anyway properly researched, you are probably drunk and should go for a lie down.

[HonaloochieB]

I'm starting a whip round to send Brendan to medical school.

I don't know about anyone else but he sounds like my kind of GP.

[Keef]

Hell, I'll put in for that!

[dulwichmum]

Brendan, I am glad that someone else is aware that Guinness doesn't contain iron - but please sweetie, less of th bad language.

As for the anti-oxidants in wine! Hurrah, pass a fresh bottle from the chiller...

[Kells]

Definitely med school material. Advice like Brendan's, I won't mind going to the GP's so much:))

[citizenED]

Well, that's day one of my new Brendan-inspired healthy living diet. Can't swy ti;s had mucch effrckt werrly.......

[Moos]

Day 2.

The medicinal brandy is starting the day off in fine form.

I love you, little fella, you're my best mate.

[Hannah6_6]

I knew there was a factual basis for putting brandy in my Lemsip, thank you Brendan!

[jaybee82]

Cheers Brendan! Suddenly feel quite good about last month's Annual Hockey Club Lordship Lane pub crawl!

[Strawbs]

Thank you my friend, I now feel completely cool about the wine that I consume.. here I was thinking maybe I should detox for a month but based on your evidence I think I should be upping my intake instead!! he he :)-D