The East Dulwich Pirate

[Kolley Kibber]

Forget the threads about anyone else being seen in East Dulwich, at 3pm today I saw the campest looking pirate ever walking down North cross road (I kid you not) complete with Purple Hair, a three corner hat, the works ....

Who is he

Why is he

more importantly

where did he eacape from ?

[PeckhamRose]

There's a major BBC historical drama series being filmed.

I am not saying the pirate has anything to do with it.

[bigbadwolf]

Look we've had a kiddie fiddling clown and now we've got some c&nt walking around dressed as a pirate is there something someone wants to get of their chest. Next we'll see TLS wandering around in a fcuking wedding dress!

[matthew123]

With skin painted white by any chance!?

[bigbadwolf]

God I remember her. I was once walking along uplands rd stoned off my face at about 1 in the morning and bumped into her and I shat myself rigid!

[jaybee82]

I agree...

Shifty-looking Clowns, 12ft Marshmallow Men and now Gay Pirates...

[pearl1]

matthew123 Wrote:

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> With skin painted white by any chance!?

Wonder what happened to her? Haven;t seen her for about 10 years....and she used to wear her underwear on top of her clothes.

Quite fancy the idea of pirates in ED though

[woofmarkthedog]

TLS..so that's who she was,white wedding dress, painted white face generally in need of a touch up ( careful ) stood next to her years ago in the Phoenix & Firkin (yeah that long ago )

boy......did I sober up quick..

Woof

Oh yeah....pirates in E dulwich........what's happening to this place......it's going to the dogs

[bigbadwolf]

For a moment there I thought you were slowly getting the hang this but then you carry on being a c&nt of Ocean going proportion.

[woofmarkthedog]

Get back to mummy's pattern room & prick your finger

mummy mummy...mummy I need some attention...bad finger..ahh pooor baaaaby

[bigbadwolf]

That's more like it Woof, good lad.

[Mikecg]

Get it right JB it's 16ft Marshmellow men. and I was being sarcastic to the nth degree because I got scolded for questioning the validity of killer clowns from outer space landing in ED.

BBW and WMTD, It's a love thang!

[????]

I just met this pirate on the way to the chip shop. I asked, "Where's your Bucaneers?" he replied, "Under my Buckinhat".

copytright TLS 1972

[Mikecg]

BOOM! BOOM!

[HonaloochieB]

Kolley Kibber Wrote:

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> Forget the threads about anyone else being seen in

> East Dulwich, at 3pm today I saw the campest

> looking pirate ever walking down North cross road

> (I kid you not) complete with Purple Hair, a three

> corner hat, the works ....

>

> Who is he

>

> Why is he

>

> more importantly

>

> where did he eacape from ?

That's my mate Kolly, he's a comedian and was obviously either on his way home from a late gig or on the way to an early one.

The only way to tell is to check if he had his 'sea legs'.

Anyway his schtick is to combine the demeanour of Larry Grayson and an obsession with Prince (the purple hair) all wrapped up in pirate lingo and references.

His stage name is Cap'n I Kidd You Not.

"I was part of the armada, you know, sorted out that so-called 'King' of Spain, he didn't have such a purple reign after I got through with him I can tell you"

"And that Blacbeard, Edward Teach. Taught me a few things I can tell you. Nothing compared to him".

"Don't talk to me about that so-called Long John Silver, what a disappointment. He might have had a dirty mind but afterwards I was as sick as Cap'n Flint".

"And as for that Nelson, ooh he was a bold one. Kiss me HARDY he told me. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IF YOU DON'T MIND. Not even if I was your girlfriend, I told him. Cheeky beggar"

"Jack Sparrow, don't you talk to me about Mr Jack Sparrow. Greedy swab, won't share. We're not on speaking terms. The last thing I said to him was 'you got the look-out last time'"

"Life's full of let downs though. Me and Captain Blood could have made a go of it, if he wasn't so fixated on his mother. I could never take the place of his mam".

Just a flavour of his act. Go and see him next time he does a venue near you.

Mention my name and a decent 'seaman' innuendo and you get ten percent off the price of entry.

Missus.

[????]

You been on the Rum again Honny?

[Mikecg]

Nah I think he's been at the Vim again.

[HonaloochieB]

Aaaar, rum says one, vim says t'other. But, can both of ye party like it's 1699?

Cap'n I Kidd You Not

[hillside]

Yeah. We called her "the black white man woman". She was extraordinary. She carried herself with real dignity though.havn't seen her for years

[pearl1]

Oh god Honaloochie B. Now you've made me say it and I really wasn't going to mention a Jolly Roger.

[HonaloochieB]

Aaaaar, 'Jolly' Roger. He be one sexy motherf*cker so he be.

Cap'n I Kidd You Not

[woofmarkthedog]

Pass the wine will ya...

Ohh it's empty.....mmmm

Wffffffff

[HonaloochieB]

Aah haar WoofMarkTheDog, an empty bottle be all that ye'll be gettin' with me when the the grog runs low.

Want rum rations and cabin boys? Then take the King's shilling.

In the meantime GETT OFF that hammock.

Else I'll take the cat to ye, so I will.

Cap'n I Kidd You Not

Edited on account of that bilge rat HonaloochieB leaving the second 'd' off my name.

When we dig up the treasure he won't be getting any of the diamonds and pearls now.

You may lay to that.

Cap'n I Kidd You Not

[woofmarkthedog]

Cider .....me.. pass...youwil'ya

Oahh zuuuv yoo..big fellla...

....... schik nnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

* empty "white lightning" bottle rolls slowly off table........and heads toward floor...buuuunk *

[postmodern]

bigbadwolf Wrote:

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(6) and I shat myself

rigid!

What a lovely visual