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The East Dulwich Pirate

Kolley Kibber

By Kolley Kibber
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Kolley Kibber

Kolley Kibber

Posted
Posted

Forget the threads about anyone else being seen in East Dulwich, at 3pm today I saw the campest looking pirate ever walking down North cross road (I kid you not) complete with Purple Hair, a three corner hat, the works ....


Who is he


Why is he


more importantly


where did he eacape from ?

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pearl1

pearl1

Posted
Posted

matthew123 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> With skin painted white by any chance!?



Wonder what happened to her? Haven;t seen her for about 10 years....and she used to wear her underwear on top of her clothes.

Quite fancy the idea of pirates in ED though

woofmarkthedog

woofmarkthedog

Posted
Posted

TLS..so that's who she was,white wedding dress, painted white face generally in need of a touch up ( careful ) stood next to her years ago in the Phoenix & Firkin (yeah that long ago )


boy......did I sober up quick..


Woof


Oh yeah....pirates in E dulwich........what's happening to this place......it's going to the dogs

HonaloochieB

HonaloochieB

Posted
Posted

Kolley Kibber Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Forget the threads about anyone else being seen in

> East Dulwich, at 3pm today I saw the campest

> looking pirate ever walking down North cross road

> (I kid you not) complete with Purple Hair, a three

> corner hat, the works ....

>

> Who is he

>

> Why is he

>

> more importantly

>

> where did he eacape from ?


That's my mate Kolly, he's a comedian and was obviously either on his way home from a late gig or on the way to an early one.

The only way to tell is to check if he had his 'sea legs'.

Anyway his schtick is to combine the demeanour of Larry Grayson and an obsession with Prince (the purple hair) all wrapped up in pirate lingo and references.


His stage name is Cap'n I Kidd You Not.


"I was part of the armada, you know, sorted out that so-called 'King' of Spain, he didn't have such a purple reign after I got through with him I can tell you"


"And that Blacbeard, Edward Teach. Taught me a few things I can tell you. Nothing compared to him".


"Don't talk to me about that so-called Long John Silver, what a disappointment. He might have had a dirty mind but afterwards I was as sick as Cap'n Flint".


"And as for that Nelson, ooh he was a bold one. Kiss me HARDY he told me. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IF YOU DON'T MIND. Not even if I was your girlfriend, I told him. Cheeky beggar"


"Jack Sparrow, don't you talk to me about Mr Jack Sparrow. Greedy swab, won't share. We're not on speaking terms. The last thing I said to him was 'you got the look-out last time'"


"Life's full of let downs though. Me and Captain Blood could have made a go of it, if he wasn't so fixated on his mother. I could never take the place of his mam".


Just a flavour of his act. Go and see him next time he does a venue near you.

Mention my name and a decent 'seaman' innuendo and you get ten percent off the price of entry.

Missus.

HonaloochieB

HonaloochieB

Posted
Posted

Aah haar WoofMarkTheDog, an empty bottle be all that ye'll be gettin' with me when the the grog runs low.

Want rum rations and cabin boys? Then take the King's shilling.

In the meantime GETT OFF that hammock.

Else I'll take the cat to ye, so I will.


Cap'n I Kidd You Not


Edited on account of that bilge rat HonaloochieB leaving the second 'd' off my name.

When we dig up the treasure he won't be getting any of the diamonds and pearls now.

You may lay to that.


Cap'n I Kidd You Not

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