OHMYGOD!

[dulwichmum]

I have just been to Dulwich Park and noticed a hot young man in some combat trousers and a close fitting blue t-shirt next to a van emblazoned with the name ?British Military Fitness?. Apparently he is about to commence some kind of public boot camp training in the park!!!

Normally, this would not be my thing at all, but recently I allowed my membership of the gym at Chelsea Harbour to lapse and sacked my personal trainer as I consider it to be far too opulent in the current global financial crisis. The chap was incredibly attractive ? he could crack walnuts with his bum cheeks and had cheek bones like Daniel Craig (swoon). I thought that this kind of exercise might be rather fun, I can just see myself bouncing along merrily behind him on a warm summer morning.

Has anyone any experience of BMF? They would not want us to shave our heads or chant silly songs would they?

[macroban]

"Simon Richman, London area manager, had the following to say about the new venue "We are hoping that this class will be will give people a 'Hyde Park 9.30 opportunity' but in South London. Classes are ideal for mums and dads who have just done the school run, or for those who are self employed and working close to the park""

Please can someone translate: "a 'Hyde Park 9.30 opportunity' but in South London."

[dulwichmum]

Oh Macroban,

I don't know what he means, but you should see his pecs! I am off to Sloane Square to buy some new sports gear. You don't think that they would make us carry logs do you? My manicure is incredibly expensive and I simply hate insets!

[Mikecg]

Sounds like crypto man has been let loose again.

[dulwichmum]

Who is crypto man sweetie?

The man on the website Podcast thingy had a lovely deep voice and promised that no-one is humiliated or made an example of... what a shame. I would love to watch others being carried away in stretchers! I am physically perfect, so I would not be in the "blue bib" group (smirk).

[Mikecg]

Simon Richman is crypto man. what does this mean? "a 'Hyde Park 9.30 opportunity' but in South London.".....

[brum]

"...I can just see myself bouncing along merrily behind him on a warm summer morning."

I don't think I've ever heard you so excited, dulwichmum! I like it!

[dulwichmum]

I am loving the Youtube clips of the classes, and I want to be in the advanced group (the instructor is so pert!).

I don't fancy wearing the bibs much, the colours are not very nice. I was planning on buying a new Asics Turquoise running jacket and the colours simply wouldn't go.

I may even purchase one of those little water bottles shaped like a polo mint. Accessories are everything.

I am delighted that I have been spending so much time on the Power Plate lately, I look fabulous. Exercising at home can be very lonely, I am looking forward to getting out there and strutting my stuff! Has anyone tried this with BMF before?

[citizenED]

DM I imagine you'd look fetching in Demi Moore's "GI Jane" kit. Shaved head, Combats, 18 hole DMs. I hear Harrods do a nice line in designer wigs.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

I just checked the instructors out Dulwich Park Fitness

hotties indeed! They better be there after I have had baby, That will help me shift the baby fat fast as well as ogle some eye candy!:))

[dulwichmum]

Oh Brum darling, I am excited. This is going to be a fabulous opportunity to show the other school gate mummies how stunningly superior I look.

Sweet CitizenEd,

You don't really think that I will have to tie my hair back do you? I just had my hi-lights done by Bruno yesterday and my hair looks amazing cascading down my back!

[brum]

Being ex-military myself, I've watched the BMF video clips and they definitely look like the real deal. Brought back lots of great memories - some painful, but mostly fun.

Dulwichmum - methinks you gave me only half a story to explain why you're soooo excited....

[Michael Palaeologus]

DM darling, surely your 14 hour days "on the hod" keep you fit and trim, if not covered in a fine covering of cement dust; or is that grey hair?

[dulwichmum]

Oh HeidiHi,

The view I witnessed was simply stunning!

Brum, I suppose I am so excited because I have been working hard to get fit since Christmas (my new year's resolution) and I am fed up exercising by myself. I tried yoga at Dulwich College last year, and the instructor kept manhandling me and making strange noises. It is not for everyone darling.

I see this trotting around the park behind a pert young man as hugely motivating. Now I get the chance to strut my stuff! Life doesn't end at forty you know! Michael darling, you know that my identity is a secret. Shhh, I would hate to beat you up with my enormous fists like hams.

[brum]

DM, let's get real here. Forget the stuff about getting fitter - you just want to get an eyeful. It won't be just the exercise that will be making you pant harder...!

[dulwichmum]

Oh Brum darling! I am a married lady (sigh), but that young man in the park provided me with an absolute Coke Break! I wonder if it would be possible to train in a pair of Spanx?

[brum]

That's plain kinky.

[dulwichmum]

Darling Brum,

Clearly, you have never witnessed the miracle that is Spanx!

Are you very fit sweetie? Do you have a six pack?

Has anyone on here taken part in this BMF training? Did anyone else see them in the park this morning? Is it any more effective than joining the Dulwich Runners?

[brum]

Dulwichmum... please tell me that's you in the photo.

But, now I've seen them, I concede that spanx are kinkier by name than by anything else.

Have I a six pack? Not any more, regretably. I've got a nice lunch pack though (apparently)

[dulwichmum]

Oh Brum darling, I have never ever worn them myself, but if I was to take part in a fitness class, I would feel compelled to ensure that I was svelte - even more than I already am (smirk)!

Simply everyone I know seems to swear by them. They even come in a thong! I was recently at an event and noticed a woman in a fitted dress who was clearly wearing a Spanx control thong - her tummy was flat, but there was a strange indentation across her bum cheeks which looked like two puppies fighting in a sack! NEVER BUY A SPANX THONG! Talk about an underwear malfunction (gasp).

[brum]

DM - thanks for the tip. I was just about to order one on-line. What would you recommend instead?

[hannahspanner]

Hello DM.

I've been doing BMF in clapham for about 6 months now, its not for the faint hearted, you get caked in mud and often various types of animal poo. They work you hard but its loads of fun and a fab way to get fit and have fun

I think the bottom you are referring to, belongs to Neil, and yes its mighty fine!

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

I have just been checking out the videos of the exercises they do, hardcore stuff but fun!

Ermm, I might pop to Dulwich Park on the 23rd to feed the ducks...nothing to do with ogling the instructor.....:-$

[bigbadwolf]

My dad had a look at these guys after injuring his shoulder about 2 years ago and he said they were alright and he would know because he spent 3 years in the Commandos and their training is the hardest infantry training in the world!

[dulwichmum]

Oh Brum darling, I suppose you could go for any of the other "control" underwear. I shall probably not actually require one myself, but I might wear one just to be sure that I look pristine when training!

Hannahspanner - isn't he quite the love God! Neil you say, Mmmm. I am a married lady you know, but it doesn't do any harm to look, does it? I am not sure that I like the idea of the animal poo as I am very delicate you know, I would hate to suffer from chaffing or excessive perspiration. I would not be forced to wear my hair in a pony tail would I?

Oh Heidi, perhaps that is the best way to proceed in the first instance. Perhaps next week I will sit on a bench and observe with a nice drink to keep me warm.

BBW, you are not suggesting that this is genuine infantry training are you? I would hate to be lifted off in a stretcher...