OHMYGOD!

[dulwichmum]

The instructor darling, the instructor is a dream boat - and so am I!

[KalamityKel]

How could anyone take any classes of any sort at that time in the morning?! ::o That's just simply wrong. WRONG!

[dulwichmum]

OHMYGOD!

That minx of an au pair has gone too far with the false tan! I look like Jordan!

[Mick Mac]

Well that won't upset everyone. You might now attract Peter Andre lookie likies, DM.

[dulwichmum]

Mr Andre's charms are not for everyone (swoon). I managed to buy a special tan removing towelette this morning at Fenwicks. I am pale and interesting once more. That au pair must go.

Now for a spot of retail therapy to ensure that I have all the right gear for tonight in Battersea Park. If I collapse, those big burley men will carry me off on a stretcher no doubt (swoon). I shall let you know how I get on.

[Moos]

I think she was getting her revenge for the knicker-boil-washing incident. You know the one I mean, don't play innocent.

[shoshntosh]

dearest DM

i was there this morning, caked in mud (and possibly in cockapoo poo) so tenacious that not even the rain would wash it away, trying my derndest to impress neil of the tight bum. i did plenty of sweating and groaning, i did. (etc etc) and my only question is: where the H were YOU??

xxxxx

shosh

[dulwichmum]

Darling Shosh,

I am at work! I shall be in Battersea Park tonight. So, I should bring my yoga mat should I? I shall ring the au pair and get her to meet me there.

How did you know it was cockapoo poo? It could have been a labradoodle! Was the instructor dishy dear chum? Did he make your heart race?

And sweet Moos,

You don't really feel that my serf is trying to exact revenge do you? I shall have her walk to Battersea from my capacious West Dulwich home with my yoga mat. That'll learn her (stamps foot)!

[mightyroar]

Hey Shosh glad to hear you got in on the mud and sweat action.

Did you get to hold hands/mingle sweat with any hot stuff?

are you signing up for more?

I shall be going again on Thursday.

[Moos]

Lady DM, I fear that the peasants are revolting. And making her walk to Battersea (Oh My GOD, where is that?!) will only walk off the calories that your forced pancake-eating plan will so cleverly put on. You must be consistent with the staff, it's only fair to them.

[dulwichmum]

OH MY GOD!!!

I am exhausted. That man was relentless. Someone call a paramedic!

[Michael Palaeologus]

Dulwichmum said "If I collapse, those big burley men will carry me off on a stretcher no doubt (swoon"

Are there a large number of them? Will they be wearing surgical supports? Have they received training in lifting heavy weights?

[bigbadwolf]

dulwichmum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> OH MY GOD!!!

>

> I am exhausted. That man was relentless. Someone

> call a paramedic!

So you're with N-power now then?

[dulwichmum]

Michael darling! Thank God you are here... Sweep me up in your big manly arms and carry me to the nearest private healthcare emporium... I couldn't bear it for those handsome men to see how very exhausted I am.

Mr Wolf, I could be hallucinating, but I have no idea what you are talking about (faint).

[bigbadwolf]

Either the others will fill you in or this should point you in the right direction.

http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?5,223328,225955#msg-225955

[postmodern]

I'm confused. Is DulwichMum trying to be amusing in her posts/website. I get the impression she's trying to be a caricature but it's not really that amusing, hence my confusion. ::o

[red devil]

She's a carrot for sure...

[bigbadwolf]

Stay with us Postmodern, it'll become a lot clearer later on. Ask Mikecg.

[dulwichmum]

Oh Postmodern dear, I am not trying to be amusing. How dare you? I am a carrot, you know it.

[postmodern]

Dulwichmum, please PM me.

[bigbadwolf]

Tell me how this one pans out DM.

[dulwichmum]

Postmodern dear heart,

I would rather not, if is all the same to you. You are not in my circle sweetie (flounces hair and points to the door)!

[bigbadwolf]

You have to be posh to be privaliged Postmodern.

[dulwichmum]

Oh Mr Wolf darling, are you sniffing around for leftovers again darling? Here, let me throw you some lamb...

[bigbadwolf]

About bloody time, but could you do us a favour and 'Lewisham it up' a bit. You know, all three sauces.