WARNING

[dulwichmum]

Last week when I was wafting about in Peter Jones, I purchased myself a Roc Microdermabrasion kit. I used it (on my face) for the first time on Sunday evening, and described the joys of exfoliation on Twitter. To my disgust, several "ladies" sent me private messages claiming that the little vibratory appliance from the kit has "other uses". Quite frankly, I am disgusted.

http://www.safemeans.co.uk/images/roc-system.jpg

Are there many other appliances that may have alternative uses? A bicycle pump that doubles up as a mini vacuum cleaner perhaps?

[dulwichmum]

I wasn't trying to be rude!

Another example of a product with a surprising alternative use was a book my mother gave me last year for Mothers Day - entitled "365 bible readings for Mothers". One evening when I was desperately waiting for my Ocado delivery, I was forced to shred the text which doubled as an absorbant alternative to cat litter.

[bigbadwolf]

Oh dear DM.

Lowering yourself to my base standards.

Disgusting.

Well I've definately heard of the less respectable things a woman has done to herself with a bathroom secret that 'buzzs'. Your 'female emailers' should be warned though about the infamous female guilt that can lead to the physical deterioration of your clopper. It's latin name escapes me but the term' vibration white fanny' has been known to induce a slight discolouration of the downstairs and bring on a pins and needle's like sensation after being subjected to the long term use of heavy snatch plant.

Take care.

[dulwichmum]

Mr Wolf,

What a filthy mind! Shame on you.

[Xena Worried prince]

This really is a "What the Feck" Thread :-S

[bigbadwolf]

dulwichmum Wrote:

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> Mr Wolf,

>

> What a filthy mind! Shame on you.

You started it.

[HonaloochieB]

The mirror on your compact cracked, ladies?

Simply go to your husband's CD collection and select one he won't be likely to play.

Usually KInda Blue by Miles Davis is there for show rather than for actually listening to.

Take the disc from it's 'jewel' box and you'll see that one side is all shiny and can be pressed into service as a mirror.

But don't let on I told you girls, don't want to be chucked out of the Bloke Club.

[daizie]

dulwichmum, google hitachi magic wand ;-)

[dulwichmum]

OH MY WORD!

It has a 6ft cord and plugs into the mains...

It lookis like some kind of industrial pummeling device for knocking down supporting walls. It is not for everyone darling (gulp). I don't mind wafting about the house in expensive lingerie, looking fabulous for my man. But that thing looks terrifying.

Can I just assure everyone that I am using my ROC device for exfoliation purposes only.

[Narnia]

OH MY GOD!

[PeckhamRose]

Nahhh, not a patch on Jessica Rabbit.

But I do agree with Xena

[Andystar]

dulwichmum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Last week when I was wafting about in Peter Jones,

> I purchased myself a Roc Microdermabrasion kit. I

> used it (on my face) for the first time on Sunday

> evening, and described the joys of exfoliation on

> Twitter. To my disgust, several "ladies" sent me

> private messages claiming that the little

> vibratory appliance from the kit has "other uses".

is there a mens version????

only kidding!!

[dulwichmum]

PeckhamRose sweetie,

That looks like a 1970's Christmas decoration.

Does it have an alternative use (like some kind of food processing capability) or are we off topic?

[citizenED]

Are they suggesting that you can use it to whisk cream?

[dulwichmum]

TO THE NAUGHTY STEP!

HOP TO IT...

[Mick Mac]

if you listen carefully you can hear the sound of "ROC me ROC me" from se21...

[dulwichmum]

I almost inhaled my coffee! Shame on you Mick Mac, if it was not for the fact that my nail varnish is wet, I would slap your bottom for that.

[Mick Mac]

::osorry DM, am holidaying in the cotswolds, so my spanking will have to wait until next week.

[dulwichmum]

I am watching you (wags finger).

[HonaloochieB]

Ladies, isn't it aggravating when you accumulate filth under a finger nail?

Of course it is. Yes it is. You want to have your nails done. I mean DONE properply.

As nails should be.

But you can't. Because of the filth.

[dulwichmum]

Hoonaloochi dear, are you sure you are drunk? Because you are sounding psychotic! Perhaps you are not drunk enough, let me top you up?

[HonaloochieB]

But hey girls, what you do is take the bitten-off fingernails that HE has chewed off and left beside the bed, you know, next to the alarm clock, that's set to Radio 4, but that you would prefer to be set to Jo Good and Paul Ross really, and then you scrape the dirty filth away with the sharp end. Of his fingernails.

And if you give HIM a meaningful look, that means everyting then so much the better.

[dulwichmum]

I feel sure I will throw up...