ED forum MP anyone

[SteveT]

I wonder if the forum has enough clout to vote in an MP?

if so,

Who would you choose to represent ED forum?

[Keef]

Allfornun doesn't live in, or much like the area, so seems the natural choice. Of course, there would have to be a claim for a second home.

[Marmora Man]

Tessa Jowell has a majority of over 12,000 and Harriet Harman over 15,000.

Big task to beat either but the opposition (Cons, Lib Dems, Green) have all put up newly minted candidates who do not have the baggage of incumbent MPs. I would be a happy man to see Harriet Harman ousted in a "Portillo moment" at the 2010 election. (Tho' to be fair"ish" she hasn't been quite as pig like with expenses - but as an Inner London MP didn't have access to a second home allowaance)

[AllforNun]

Thank you keef I accept your nomination, although I do love the area and would not need a second home, as I am being generously housed at present. The only problem would be that I would not be able to campaign between the hours of 6.30pm and 7am.

Campaign Manifesto

1. Bring the road, signage and crossings on the Nunhead of Peckham Rye up to the same quality as the road on the ED side.

2. Armed patrols, South African stylee on Barry Road.

3. Force Boss Man wines to change the signage or face bankruptcy

4. Water Cannons patrolling LL, any gurners get instantly doused.

5. Low Rider, fitted with UV lights and full on sound system, to pull up outside foxtons every Saturday afternoon, and use its hydraulic bump system for about 20mins

6. Free bread from ED Deli to be handed out once a year outside Sainsbury?s

7. P13 to be torched on goose green and replaced by a fleet of electric min buses, connecting Bellenden, Queens Road, Nunhead, West Dulwich and ED.

8. Thorough cleaning of a number of ED cafe's on Lordship lane, think Kim and Aggie.

9. Tuna Tasting week along Lordship Lane - Uk Skipjack vs Euro yellowfin

10. Open Brand of Rough Trade Records on LL

11. Children?s Arch Bridge to be built, connecting Goose Green playground to the Green.

12 Wonderful New play area for Peckham Rye Park and finish of the Basketball courts and youth area to the standard of Dulwich Park

13. Huge Mentoring push around SE15 SE22.

14. How to make multiple cups of coffee at the same time, compulsory training course for all cafes in the area.

15. Shut the town hall for 2 weeks, giving all paid councillors a short holiday and pay break. Use the money to re-invest and re-open the Livesey Museum. Council leader Nick Stanton will be sent on a 2 month sabatical to research UK childrens museums.

[PeckhamRose]

AllForNun that was the funniest post you've written.

I shall vote for you till someone better comes along.

Next?

[snorky]

much as I hate to admit it, some of the points above are borderline good ones

sadly, voters are still suckers for the system we have at present ansd will continue to put their X beside whateverr brand of corrupt backslapping piss artist expenses submitting mealy mouthed reactionary shitbag their chosen party selects

whatever they say, they all have their own interests at heart

[dulwichmum]

I should like to be elected to represent the forum. I would have my second home in Barbados (naturellement) and I would not require a salary as I am so very wealthy indeed. I would like to hold public office in order to assert my superior position at the school gates...

I would campain for:

Dulwich to be made a gated community, it's perimeter patrolled by large men with the stature of Ray Winstone, carrying water cannons, God I adore fire men!, (swoon). We are far too close to Norwood, Lewisham, Peckham and Brixton for my liking.

All new and incoming au pairs and domestic servants should have their luggage torched on the tarmac at Gatwick airport, and they should be completely doused from head to toe in various preparations eliminating any trace scabies, head lice and thread worms (our children are catching these infections somewhere and we are so nice around here - it must be from outsiders).

Waitrose should open an enormous branch in the old police station on Lordship Lane.

Iceland would be closed, and replaced by an enomous organic, free range indoor fruit and veg market in the manner of Borough Market.

William Rose should serve Starbucks latte to those waiting in the queue.

A branch of Konditor and Cook to be opened in the village (in place of the empty Gill Holland shop), and a branch of Carluccio's in place of the Piaf - much more child friendly!

Speed bumps to be removed from Burbage Road/Alleyn Road/Turney Road and Alleyn Park (they are destroying my suspension) and replaced with those funky flashing light accessories that inform you of your speed and then go around to your house and slap you about.

All health visitors should distribute money off vouchers from Majestic wines with the little red book.

Women on maternity leave in Dulwich should be jailed if found wearing their husbands fleeces or rugby shirts, or any form of comfortable shoes - particularly MBTs, Fitflops, Crocs and Birkenstocks as they are vile and unattractive.

All homes would be issued with their own coffee grinders. Instant coffee would be banned.

Wine tasting courses would be compulsary for all and anyone found with Chardonnay in their homes would be forced to do community service - this could include replacing the fence around Goose Green with the sweet little white fence posts and chains like Dulwich Village.

All branches of Tesco Metro (near Goose Green and on Croxted Road) would be closed and replaced with branches of Starbucks.

I feel so much better for that (sigh).

[Santerme]

It is with utmost regret I may have to remove myself from the ballot.

Apart from being completely new to the Forum, I would have to purchase a third home in the area to qualify.

However, on a technical point of order having been born in the area, two score and ten years ago and therefore a native I could sneak in on a basis similar to Phil the Greeks claim to his English ancestory, however, it is nowhere near as illustrious as Sophie of Hanover.

More Stan the Steeplejack.

[Keef]

I'm with you santerme.

[Brendan]

?? patrols, South African stylee on Barry Road.?

By that I assume you mean police pulling cars over for imaginary traffic offences in order to solicit bribes.

[????]

Brendan Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> ?? patrols, South African stylee on Barry Road.?

>

> By that I assume you mean police pulling cars over

> for imaginary traffic offences in order to solicit

> bribes.

We've effectively got that with the Parking Attendants....

[Brendan]

So can I bung a parking attendant 10 quid to not fine me? Brilliant!

Bribing a policeman I have many issues with but undermining a commercially run system of taxation I have no problem with.

[Andystar]

I've said it before & I'll say it again, Station Manager Barry!! He'll sort out this country in no time..

[Santerme]

Andystar Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I've said it before & I'll say it again, Station

> Manager Barry!! He'll sort out this country in no

> time..

Only if he can do something about the Dorchester to Cerne Abbas bus service.

Then he could be PM!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Heavens to Betsy! Don't let DulwichMum catch you talking about pornographic etchings.

[charliecharlie]

I would like to propose Moos... not only does she have a certain dignity and gravitas, she is also hilariously funny.

I do realise that none of the above qualities are to be found in your average MP, but think it might be time for a radical change...

Humour and 'bottom' might be just what our area needs to get us though this rather 'tricky' period...

Thoughts please....

[Keef]

I'd vote Moos!

[Santerme]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Heavens to Betsy! Don't let DulwichMum catch you

> talking about pornographic etchings.

Then she would be horrified that both my girls rechalked it whilst at Primary School in the village!!

[mockney piers]

I've already got her as speaker of the house in our other EDF gov't thread, hands off!!

[AllforNun]

christ keef you jumped ship quick, i just had the badges printed, This was going to be an obama - biden Dream ticket....i'd done a wonderful sketch of what i thought you would look like, Keith Allen meets Steve Mcqueen with a little touch of perry groves thrown in. Bugger i'll have to find another partner now, someone older, vince cable like in stature, with an air of james herriot.......Hugenoght huggynin hougouneit ...anyway him

[charliecharlie]

[quote name=I've already got her as speaker of the house in our other EDF gov't thread' date=' hands off!!

]

tough, Mockney Piers, she's been promoted (and she doesn't even know about it...)

yiks, hope we don't get the wrath of Moos reigning down on us for talking about her behind her back

[Mikecg]

Snorky for Art and Culture, well to use the words mealy mouthed is pure ART, a term me mother would use.

snorky Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> much as I hate to admit it, some of the points

> above are borderline good ones

>

> sadly, voters are still suckers for the system we

> have at present ansd will continue to put their X

> beside whateverr brand of corrupt backslapping

> piss artist expenses submitting mealy mouthed

> reactionary shitbag their chosen party selects

>

> whatever they say, they all have their own

> interests at heart

[PeckhamRose]

I am of the belief that anyone who wants to be a politician should be barred from being politicians.

And I do not want to be a politician...

[charliecharlie]

I agree PR

and me neither

[Huguenot]

I'm with AfN