Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Heres something I thought was funny although not a chatup line.


You find a top heavy woman at the pub, and you say "I bet you a quid I can make your boobs wobble without touching them", when they agree give them a quick fondle and handover the quid, great innit. It's even worth getting a slap for.

A mate of mine used to fancy a girl at work but she never spoke as she walked past his desk every day. Until, that is, the day she passed and he made a noise of a whip being cracked. No words, just that noise. Amazingly, it did the trick - they started a very intense, passionate relationship.

HellNoHellYeah Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think men often underestimate how effective a

> simple "hi" can be. "Clever" chatup lines just

> reek of trying too hard.


I agree, I have found that simply asking if I can buy a drink or something equally bland is usually the best policy.


It worked for me with the wife.

I'm not convinced chat-up lines of this type actually exist in real life other than in 'my mate says' pub-talk. Excluding nightclubs with carpets and possibly anywhere north of Watford, naturally.


Even I've got a few 'my mate says' anecdotes, but I guarantee they never have. They were too busy perspiring with fear and breathing on their hands to check their breath in the bogs to risk making a tit of themselves by laying some cheesy old line on someone who'd laugh in their face.

charliecharlie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> the one's that have worked on me are pretty

> simple

> "you've got a lovely smile"

> "hey, can I help you with that"

> "my name's ....., what's yours?"

> "Hello"

> etc...

> the cornier the chat up line the faster I run....


And what about "Hello, I'm a well-known designer", eh Charlies?

I just got chatted up by a group of young Dutch ladies while in the park on my lunch break.


The line (and I shit you not on this) was, ?Hello sir*. My friends and I are visiting from the Netherlands. We didn?t realise that there were any cute Englishmen.?


Anyway it was a nice little confidence boost. I feel well up myself now.


*I liked that bit.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Elliot built alcove cupboards and shelves in our lounge room earlier this week. SO happy with them, the quality of joinery is superb and elliot was very communicative with me about checking things and confirming details. Clean and tidy aswell (even brought his own kettle!).    Would definitely recommend for any carpentry or joinery. 
    • Hi .. I’ve still got the  bike lock 😀
    • I think the only way to sort this is to ban loud fireworks for private sale (and preferably ban fireworks altogether except for public displays). I don't know whether that has implications I'm not aware of eg I have no idea how many people are involved in firework manufacture.
    • Very happy to recommend Tommy Rooney's excellent work again. He's been servicing my boiler for years now, but this time he swiftly fixed a leaky radiator valve. I put out a call on Friday and it was repaired - and improved - by Monday evening. I asked him if he had an opinion about my other radiators, and he reassured me as he pointed out the leaky bathroom rad was a non-standard length, which was why it caused problems. There followed a brief but detailed history of improvements in regulations for valves and fittings over the years, so that I could understand precisely what the issue was. How many plumbers will do that for you? "I've just got a memory for weird things," says Tommy modestly.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...