Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Heres something I thought was funny although not a chatup line.


You find a top heavy woman at the pub, and you say "I bet you a quid I can make your boobs wobble without touching them", when they agree give them a quick fondle and handover the quid, great innit. It's even worth getting a slap for.

A mate of mine used to fancy a girl at work but she never spoke as she walked past his desk every day. Until, that is, the day she passed and he made a noise of a whip being cracked. No words, just that noise. Amazingly, it did the trick - they started a very intense, passionate relationship.

HellNoHellYeah Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think men often underestimate how effective a

> simple "hi" can be. "Clever" chatup lines just

> reek of trying too hard.


I agree, I have found that simply asking if I can buy a drink or something equally bland is usually the best policy.


It worked for me with the wife.

I'm not convinced chat-up lines of this type actually exist in real life other than in 'my mate says' pub-talk. Excluding nightclubs with carpets and possibly anywhere north of Watford, naturally.


Even I've got a few 'my mate says' anecdotes, but I guarantee they never have. They were too busy perspiring with fear and breathing on their hands to check their breath in the bogs to risk making a tit of themselves by laying some cheesy old line on someone who'd laugh in their face.

charliecharlie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> the one's that have worked on me are pretty

> simple

> "you've got a lovely smile"

> "hey, can I help you with that"

> "my name's ....., what's yours?"

> "Hello"

> etc...

> the cornier the chat up line the faster I run....


And what about "Hello, I'm a well-known designer", eh Charlies?

I just got chatted up by a group of young Dutch ladies while in the park on my lunch break.


The line (and I shit you not on this) was, ?Hello sir*. My friends and I are visiting from the Netherlands. We didn?t realise that there were any cute Englishmen.?


Anyway it was a nice little confidence boost. I feel well up myself now.


*I liked that bit.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • OMFG is it possible for the council to do anything without a bunch of armchair experts moaning about it? The library refurb is great news, as it's lovely but completely shagged out - the toilets don't even work reliably. Other libraries in the area will be open longer house during the closure. July is a rubbish time to begin a refurb because it's just before the entire construction sector goes on summer holiday, and it would mean delaying the work another 8 months.
    • Licensing application for 2026 has gone in and they want to extend the event from 4 to 7 days accross two weekends.  There are some proposed significant changes to be aware of:   Event proposal moves to two separate weekends Number of days of the festival moves from 4 to 7 meaning also a change in the original licence is required Expected footfall in the park over the two weekends around 60,000.    Dear Peckham Rye Park Stakeholder,   Re: STAKEHOLDER CONSULTATION – event application: ‘GALA and On The Rye Festival 2026’ – ref: SWKEVE000935   We are writing to you because you have previously identified yourself as someone who wishes to be informed about event applications for Peckham Rye Park, or we think that you might have an interest in knowing about this particular event application.   Please be aware that the council are in receipt of an event application for: GALA and On The Rye Festival 2026’   In line with the council’s Outdoor Events Policy and events application process we are carrying out consultation regarding this application.   The following reference documents are attached to this email:   Consultation information APPENDIX A – site plan weekend 1 APPENDIX B – site plan weekend 2 APPENDIX C – Production Schedule APPENDIX D – 2025 Noise Management Plan   The consultation is open from Tuesday 4 November and will close at midnight on Tuesday 2 December 2025   Community engagement sessions will take place on Wednesday 19 November.   If you would like to comment on application: SWKEVE000935 and take part in the online consultation, please visit:   www.southwark.gov.uk/GALA2026   If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us.     Kind Regards, Southwark Events Team Environment and Leisure PO Box 64529 London SE1P 5LX 020 7525 3639 @SouthwarkEvents APPENDIX A - SITE PLAN weekend 1.pdf APPENDIX B - SITE PLAN weekend 2.pdf APPENDIX C - PRODUCTION SCHEDULE.pdf And just to add that councillor Renata Hamvas chairs the licensing committee. Worth contacting her with views on ammendments to the original license. I am fairly sure she won't grant any amendments, but just in case.....
    • Second time Aria has completed a plumbing job for me and both times he’s been polite. Communicative, kept to time and completed the job. He’s very helpful and tidy as well. First job was ball valve in water tank, not easy at all. He and his team were fantastic. This time kitchen tap cylinders replaced and tap tightened.  Much appreciated, Aria thank you.
    • Thought others may be interested to help a local community centre help others.    My bank account offers roundup and it’s been growing all year. As well as treating myself or putting it towards a train ticket to see my family I’ve made a donation to the Albrighton. They can use donations at any time but I hope my donation will go towards the Christmas hampers.    Can you support them so they can provide Christmas hampers?   https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/albrightoncommunityfridge?utm_id=1&utm_term=M22JKQb6W   A donation of £50 will pay for a hamper to feed a family over this Christmas period. A donation of £30 will pay for a hamper to feed someone living on their own over the Christmas period.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...