Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Heres something I thought was funny although not a chatup line.


You find a top heavy woman at the pub, and you say "I bet you a quid I can make your boobs wobble without touching them", when they agree give them a quick fondle and handover the quid, great innit. It's even worth getting a slap for.

A mate of mine used to fancy a girl at work but she never spoke as she walked past his desk every day. Until, that is, the day she passed and he made a noise of a whip being cracked. No words, just that noise. Amazingly, it did the trick - they started a very intense, passionate relationship.

HellNoHellYeah Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think men often underestimate how effective a

> simple "hi" can be. "Clever" chatup lines just

> reek of trying too hard.


I agree, I have found that simply asking if I can buy a drink or something equally bland is usually the best policy.


It worked for me with the wife.

I'm not convinced chat-up lines of this type actually exist in real life other than in 'my mate says' pub-talk. Excluding nightclubs with carpets and possibly anywhere north of Watford, naturally.


Even I've got a few 'my mate says' anecdotes, but I guarantee they never have. They were too busy perspiring with fear and breathing on their hands to check their breath in the bogs to risk making a tit of themselves by laying some cheesy old line on someone who'd laugh in their face.

charliecharlie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> the one's that have worked on me are pretty

> simple

> "you've got a lovely smile"

> "hey, can I help you with that"

> "my name's ....., what's yours?"

> "Hello"

> etc...

> the cornier the chat up line the faster I run....


And what about "Hello, I'm a well-known designer", eh Charlies?

I just got chatted up by a group of young Dutch ladies while in the park on my lunch break.


The line (and I shit you not on this) was, ?Hello sir*. My friends and I are visiting from the Netherlands. We didn?t realise that there were any cute Englishmen.?


Anyway it was a nice little confidence boost. I feel well up myself now.


*I liked that bit.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Driving down Lordship lane around 2.45pm today saw a v sick looking fox walking in and out of the crowd. 
    • I know I'm a bit premature but don't want to forget through too much Chrisntas cheer! Southwark Council Christmas trees recycling arrangements 2025 - bit worrying for the future that they're emphasising the free bit. "We’ll collect and recycle your real Christmas tree for free!  Trees should not be taller than 5ft. You should chop any taller trees into smaller pieces. Remove all decorations and the pot or stand and recycle it by: putting your tree with your garden waste containers on collection day requesting a free collection if you do not have a garden waste collection  taking it to our Reuse and Recycling Centre [43 Devon Street, SE15 1AL open 08:30-16:30 Mon-Sun] If you live in a flat you must leave the tree: outside on the kerb visible for the collection crew not in a bin store" I'll add the link to the collection booking service when it opens on 22 December. 
    • Most homes in East Dulwich / Good Green ward have collections on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. So no changes for them this year.  But for those few local homes with collections normally on Thursdays or Friday, with Christmas, Boxing day happening on Thursday and Friday any blue, brown or green bin collections will be delayed by two days. So Thursday 25 December collections will be on Saturday 27 December and Friday 26 December collections on Sunday 28 December. For New Years day those Thursday collections will be on the Friday 2 January and those with normal collections of Fridays that will be on Saturday 3 January. To double check when your Southwark Council rubbish, recycling, food waste, garden waste collections will be taking place please please check here - https://services.southwark.gov.uk/bins/lookup
    • Luckily I don't really any regular reason to park at Dawson Heights.  It must be very difficult for the residents I do feel for them.  Thank you for them.  I just presumed that Southwark owned the estate and would be responsible for parking enforcement there. 
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...