Top tips for those having a baby

[Belle]

Jenren - couldn't agree more!

[snowboarder]

Not sure can articulate my main tip/advice as am still feeling pretty stressed...but whilst it's very easy to be and I was totally prepared materially for having a baby and had looked after lots of babies before and knew I would be tired etc, I did not expect to feel quite so stomach churningly nervous and on edge ALL the time! I had just assumed I would be tired but love it as Molly describes. But that has not happened so far. And that has been a surprise. So maybe don't be surprised and feel bad if you don't love the experience immediately. I am still hoping/getting used to it....

[ClareC]

OMG are you sure this thread should not be renamed "Top tips for those considering having a baby"

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Or 'Effective Contraception'?

[ClareC]

Too late for me........ I have been following this thread from the beginning but having been at the pregnant but not telling anyone stage couldn't post until recently. It has certainly been an eyeopener! Amusing, informative and down right scary! Like EmmaG the expressing machine caused much nervous laughter as did the funny pants!!

Latest tip I have picked up from this is that I must diarise getting my hair cut and coloured a few weeks before the due date whilst I still care about such trivialities ;-)

[sanity girl]

not sure if anyone has already said this, but once baby is born do all your supermarket shopping online - much less stress to deal with. I think ocado are the best for this

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

many congrats ClareC!

[ClareC]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

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> many congrats ClareC!

Thank you :-)

[KateMontero]

Yup I didn't bounce back very well! But loads do. Tragic. Should appreciate youth when it's there.

And I also started doing all my supermarket shopping online and still do. It's been brilliant. And caring less about everything.

Definitely remember feeling really nervous for at least three months. I made a friend at an NCT drop-in when she joked she was scared of her baby. I loved it when he was asleep because I felt I could breathe for a minute. That DOES pass though. Although it's still good when he is asleep.

[Belle]

Oh yes - I remember when he was asleep just dreading him waking up, in a kind of scared way! Just because I didn't feel as though I had a clue what I was doing.

Def online shop esp all those nappies which are a pain to buy in bulk out and about with a pram. and nice treats for yourself, in my case Tunnocks Tea Cakes :))

[jenren]

Okay, just had a look at the hands-free bra, and it's brilliant! I had to hold the bloody things, one in each hand, for 45 min at a time every four hours. To this day I'm haunted by the sound of that pump.....whi-wha-whi-wha-whi-wha

*screams with fists in the air*

Oh yeah, any dignity you might have had left in pregnancy is GONE the minute they arrive. Might as well know that instead of being shocked by it like I was.

[Fuschia]

jenren Wrote:

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> Okay, just had a look at the hands-free bra, and

> it's brilliant! I had to hold the bloody things,

> one in each hand, for 45 min at a time every four

> hours.

Yes, I rest my case!

[Belle]

When my baby was first born I used to look at other new mums out and about and think they all looked way more together/in shape/calm/happy/in control than me. That was a big mistake! Try not to compare yourself to other people or do what I do now and just tell yourself they're probably the nanny/young auntie, not really a new mum!

[sb]

.

[The Nappy Lady]

Snowboarder, don't worry about feeling that way, just because I love the newborn bit doesn't mean everyone else has to, and I still get stressed, flustered, tired etc. etc. like everyone else, it's just I think I have moved on enough to forget all that to some extent.

I know many Mum's who really dislike the newborn phase and really don't start to enjoy their children until they get to about 2 years old, we are all different, as are our babies!

Having a newborn is such a huge responsibility, one abiding memory I have is immediately after my first was born (at home) I went to have a bath and the midwives asked me if I wanted her to come in with me, to which I replied "Can I?" and they said "Well, it's your baby, you can do whatever you like". That's when it kind of hit home....and again about 30 minutes later when they left us with her, and then again a week after that when I was alone at home with her for the first time, and it felt very scary for the first few hours.

But you know, I always loved babies, and always longed to hold other peoples (friends) but felt it would be annoying to keep asking, or that they would feel I was imposing...now of course I know that most Mum's are thankful of getting a few minutes to dash about and do 10 of the jobs that have been on the never ending list...so I always offer to cuddle if I get a chance...but hindsight is such a wonderful thing.....so having my own that I could cuddle AS MUCH AS I LIKED, FOR AS LONG AS I WANTED was fab....and still is mostly...apart from now she (no 2) just wriggles off all the time to practice her crawling and cruising....sigh....

As for the being late, flustered, hot and sweaty thing...is there a medical reason for this I wonder...maybe hormonal? With both mine I have found in the month or two immediately after having them whenever I went out I seemed to get much more hot and sweaty than normal (sorry if TMI). So, the classic nightmare of trying to get new buggy in and out of car / put up or down with crying baby etc. becomes even more of a nightmare.

My big thing is that other Mums always seems to have a perfectly behaved baby sitting in a buggy while they shop, but mine have to be either asleep, or in the buggy for 30 minutes or less before they get really bored and start yelling, so if trying to shop (i.e. for clothes etc. which to be honest I generally just avoid doing with a baby in tow) I will usually end up with a buggy loaded with bags and a baby on my hip instead...or breastfeeding while I shop 1 handed...madness, sigh. Maybe I'm just too soft and should leave them yelling in the buggy, but it has never really worked for me.

Molly

[EmmaG]

Look, a top tip from ME and I haven't even got a baby

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-an-Oriental-Baby-Carrier

[sb]

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[Moos]

The sweating is very normal, especially at night, and yes it is hormonal - it's related to your body settling down after having had the baby. Most unpleasant but fortunately temporary.

This is what www.babycentre.co.uk has to say:-

Why am I peeing all the time?

Your weight loss on giving birth is breathtaking. Subtracting the weight of your baby, plus the placenta and some blood and amniotic fluid leaves most women instantly 5kg / 11lb lighter.

The weight keeps coming off, too. Throughout pregnancy, your body?s cells were hard at work retaining water, and now all that extra fluid will start seeping out in the form of sweat and urine. New mothers perspire a lot, and they often produce an astounding 3.4l / 6pt of urine a day -- twice the usual amount.

Nice.

[jenren]

......because you don't feel gross enough already.....

[The Nappy Lady]

Saddo that I am I weighed myself on the morning I went into labour, and again that night after having the baby and I had lost an amazing 1.5 stone...baby was 7lbs 8oz so goodness knows how much water etc. I shed with her!!!!

It has to be one of the best post labour boosts you can get...the rest took a lot longer to come off (I once read a fantastic quote - 9 months up and 9 months down which I firmly believe in).......I have dreams of making it back to a gym one day, but for now I'm just happy dreaming!

Molly

[Moos]

Yes, sorry ladies. Ahem.

One other thing that I have previously hesitated to mention, as there's plenty of (as PGC would say) Effective Contraception tips already is that I suffered from mild anxiety attacks when my son was very small, and I gather it's not uncommon and partly to do with natural and genuine anxiety and partly those self-same lovely hormones. It meant a racing, thudding pulse with blood roaring in the ears and feeling really panicky for some minutes at a time, and would come over me unexpectedly at otherwise uneventful moments.

I bring it up now in case anyone also experiences the same, that it's really OK and you haven't gone bananas, and it helps to sit down and just gently breathe in and out and wait for it to pass. Preferably with a cup of tea that a sympathetic person has given you.

[Sonja]

'Hot & sweaty', that brings back memories - no-one had told me I might get night sweats, so that was a complete surprise. Lasted for quite some time with me, and was totally unpleasant, I used to wake up with my nightie wringing wet, yuk. My only solution was to have a change of clothes ready, and to fold a sheet and sleep on that for the first part of the night, so I could whip it off, change clothes and be a bit more comfortable for the second part of the night. And the temperature didn't seem to make a difference - naked and with the window open in november? Still dripping. Lovely.

And Moos post has reminded me about another good post-birth stand by - Bach Rescue Remedy. My friend used it when she had those horrible panic attacks you describe. I used it for the couple of weeks post birth when the slightest thing, be it someone saying how lovely your baby was, to hearing a Take That song on the radio, could have me dissolving immediately into floods of tears. I'm not sure whether it was the unique blend of flower essences, or actually the fact that they're carried in brandy that helped, but a few drops on the tongue always seemed to sort me out. I still use it when the toddler is just getting right on my nerves. Sorry if someone has already mentioned it....

[citizenED]

before babies we used to buy a couple of rolls of kitchen towel every fortnight - since they came along we are on two six packs per week. Get used to it.

[quickbrownfox]

Sonja - I had totally forgotten about night sweats! They were hideous and hung around for months. My husband is generally pretty unshockable, but even he wasn't charmed.... and I think there is no cure.... uuurgh.

[sb]

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