I have only just discovered Dulwichmum!

[Michael Palaeologus]

Have you got much money Maurice? Thats all it takes. That and a face like a Pug.

[dulwichmum]

MR WOLF! I have warned you about smut...(glares)

And as for you Michael, my husband is an athletic mountain of a man with fabulous bone structure. How VERY dare you... You know how I adore my man (sob)

[Mick Mac]

dulwichmum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

>

> I'll have you know that I have the perfect and

> unblemished skin of a 19 year old... I shall have

> it stretched and displayed on a canvass very soon

Be careful what you wish for Mrs Dorian Gray...

[bigbadwolf]

How dare you sully DM's vanity with such wanton abandon Mick Mac. I'll have you know that me and Michael P spent the whole of yesterday evening bouncing 50 pence pieces off DM's stomach. I'll also have you know that DM's is no fictional creation of Oscar Wilde.....more like someone out of Cosmopolitan.

[bigbadwolf]

Oh and DM, where is this 'smut' you accuse me of?

[Maurice]

Ones money and wealth is never a topic of public discourse, I'm afraid.

It does appear that, in the venacular of my great grandaughter, I have been blown off by Dulwich Mum. It is such a shame, as the dining room has little use these days and I was hoping to re-create its glory days.

[KalamityKel]

::o

[Mick Mac]

Maurice - you have only done 399 posts - she hardly knows you. Poor old BBW has been hankering after an invite for many a long year now, but still nothing. Join the queue behind his tail.

[bigbadwolf]

Mick Mac Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

Poor old BBW has been hankering

> after an invite for many a long year now, but

> still nothing. Join the queue behind his tail.

It's so true.

I remember the days when mine and DM's antics were all over the broadsheets and we would dine at Gavroche and dance till dawn. We enjoyed a whirlwind romance that took us to all 4 corners of the globe but I went and spoilt everything one night at Claridges after she got out of the shower I was standing there naked holding a pot of Nutella chocolate spread and a paint brush. I winked at her and she got all unreasonable and violent.

[Mick Mac]

She told me about that BBW. She hates wolf hairs in her Nutella.

[dulwichmum]

Shame on the lot of you. Engaging in wild, abandoned, sensual, sexually explicit fantasies about a pert, perfectly toned and glossy married lady like me (bats eyelashes). I am incredibly shy, and almost never take my clothes off, not even to wash...

[KalamityKel]

It's true DM's a difficult one when bathing especially in milk. It has to be specially imported.

[bigbadwolf]

Really? The last time a ran a milk bath for DM I told her that some of Gary Barlows hair was at the bottom. She dived in and screamed at me to GET OUT!!!

[Mick Mac]

Milk imported from Paddy Land.

[dulwichmum]

Mr Wolf,

I have never permitted such intimacies with you (gasp)! I adore my man, and despite the recent economic troubles, he has the largest bonus in SE21 (swoon).

[bigbadwolf]

Oh I didn't mean to suggest that we've engaged in any intimacies (lights on or off) but merely fleeting dalliances, that's all. Except for that time when we.......................no it's gone.

[dulwichmum]

Shame on you. I have eyes only for James. Yes I have engaged in occasional physically abusive acts against Michael P, but when I realised that he was extracting pleasure from it, I stopped!

I am a married lady and I never engage in dalliances, idle or not (slaps face with glove).

[Mick Mac]

Can you two get a room. :))

[bigbadwolf]

We've got a room Mick but you can only lock it from the outside and if I'm not mistaken I think I can hear her driving off.

[Mick Mac]

oh poor you bbw. Has she got cold feet again. Shame. Sooner or later you can report back to us on your achievement. I feel your chase is nearing fruition.

[bigbadwolf]

How dare you speak of dulwichmum in such a working class fashion Mick Mac. I'll have you know that our lady that lunches never has cold feet. She merely saw the state of the sheets, booted me in the nuts whilst looking coldly down her nose at such a filthy soul and made for the door. She was kind enough to leave me some money for the bus though so you never know.

[Michael Palaeologus]

We have a room, its the (not very) Quiet Room. I am DM had a long term lover in the name of Batdog, a small, black and white pug, he disappeared in mysterious circumstances some time ago. Her marriage to James is a farce, as measured by the high turn-over of Au-pairs and the retained Gynaecologist.

Sadly deluded, DM shuffles from gin palace to trashy emporium seeking solace in conspicuous consumption and oblivion in the bottle.

Let us be understanding of her bizarre behaviour and uncertain ways, she nears the end of a long and painful journey of self destruction.

Nobody mention the smell.

[Andystar]

OHMYGOD! ( raises hands to his face- Macaulay Culkin/ Home alone style and opens mouth.) Is this one of those intelligent, witty threads that I've heard about??

[Michael Palaeologus]

Clearly.

[dulwichmum]

.