The Carnival Is Over, Summer Is No More....

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Certainly not! Put a vest and a cardie on.

[bigbadwolf]

I'll probably treat myself to a brick of coal around late October Ted. I can lend you a candle if you're feeling a bit nippy round Christmas if you're, you know, a bit short of funds.

[woofmarkthedog]

Ted Max Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Anyone had the heating on yet?

____________________________________________

Burning logs & wearing T-shirts here.............ahhhhhh nice.

W**F

[Jah Lush]

Winter draws on.

[Ted Max]

Aye, it's bonanza time for the gas men, and the chimney sweeps too.

I am looking forward to the smell of roasting dust (and ladybird wings) you get when you first fire up the radiators.

[Ted Max]

I'll probably treat myself to a brick of coal around late October Ted. I can lend you a candle if you're feeling a bit nippy round Christmas if you're, you know, a bit short of funds.

The pocket book does seem a little slim this year, BBW. I'm well off for candles though, having been left half a gross by Mrs Marjoribanks next door when she emigrated to the far dominions in 1976.

A couple of whisky macs ready behind the bar at the Prince Albert would be a warming thought, however.

[bigbadwolf]

Ted.

The thought of sharing a tumbler or two of single malt with yourself would indeed be a warming occasion. Although I don't think I'd be comfortable with you pocketing all the cutlery and condiments from the knife and fork table.

Though I'd be happy to help you tear the pay-phone from it's mount to ease the burden on your wallet.

[Ted Max]

I suppose under the 30 year rule I can now point out that, far from emigrating, it turned out that Mrs Marjoribanks had in fact been in the throes of an intoxicating two month fling with the head waiter at the Far Dominions curry house on the Goldhawk Road.

When she returned Geoff, her husband, had piled all her belongings in the middle of the street. I helped myself to the candles and her Georgette Heyer collection.

[bigbadwolf]

Georgette Heyer?

I had you down as more of a George MacDonald Fraser kinda guy Ted. Not some nancy that pours all over regency romance.

[Ted Max]

She lives in Odiham now, with the ex-head of the local Parish council. The head waiter of the Far Dominions has a small chain of mobile phone retail outlets in the Market Harborough area. His son is studying PPE at Oxford.

Geoff can be found occasionally enjoying a hot chocolate at quiet times outside Melange, his teeth proudly on the table before him.

I've never told him about the candles.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Quick, BBW, hide from Moos.

[bigbadwolf]

Quite right PGC. What a stupid comment I just made. I am one of those nancy's that pours all over regency romance. She's got my boxset of Bleak House. I don't think I'd stretch to lending her my Bronte or Thackery collection though.

[Jah Lush]

The point is is it's cod regency romance. Bleurgh!

[Ted Max]

My interest lay in the detective novels, of course.

[bigbadwolf]

Did it now.

[Ted Max]

If I happened to glance at once of the historical romances, Wolf, it was merely the literary equivalent of losing the remote control and finding oneself watching an entire episode of Footballers' Wives.

[Ted Max]

The sun appears to be setting. It's a quarter to three. I am craving reindeer fried in seal blubber, a flask of clear spirits and a retreat to my scratcher. But I have work to do.

[Moos]

I'm getting a confusion of vibes from your post, Ted - a bit Frank Sinatra, a bit Robert Frost.

[Ted Max]

... so set em up Joe...

It's a northern European thing, though. The heartfelt need for the familial bed, the comfort of wood smoke curling round a blackened ceiling, the slowing of the metabolism, the mouth slaked with ethanol and animal fats.

I think it's against my human rights to expect me to do any work at this time of year.

[SeanMacGabhann]

I agree Ted

But I would also extend that to the summer months when the sun is shining. Having being deprived for 10 moonths it's criminal to have us inside for those warm days

[Ted Max]

Good point.

So - new EC Working Time Directive (Northern Branch).

Working months:

May

Some of September and October.

June-August: - To be spent outside restoring Vitamin D and mental health levels.

November: to be spent fattening up for the Great Hibernation.

December-April: Rest, continuation of rich oral literary tradition, strong drink to be taken.

[Ted Max]

Day 44:

By the stars, but hibernation is boring. Especially as it turns out our tribe's rich tradition of oral narrative extends to just one particularly unlikely creation myth involving the magical arrival of the First Clansman from inside a washed up whale on the Great East Beachhead, and his subsequent copulations with a convenient host of willing sealmaidens.

I'm afraid hearing Grunewald the Elder crank up the roll-call of our 4,000-year Seal Clan lineage for the thirteenth time was too much for Iolanthe, and she left the cave shortly after the Feast of the Final Mussel to try her luck in the Great Other. She took the last of the razor clam jus with her as well, so we're on freeze-dried seaweed till the spring now.

Tamara has a severe cough, caused by the six weeks of unescaped smoke that has built up inside the cave. We medicate her with fresh condensings from the still, but the potion is raw and causes temporary blindness so she is covered in bruises from constantly walking into the cave walls. If this keeps up I'm afraid she is unlikely to be elected as the Maid of the Cave on Fire Night, but I haven't had the heart to break that to her yet.

Also, I'm afraid my sealskin undercrackers are beginning to chafe where they've got a bit clogged. Isolde said I should rub some gannet bile onto the affected parts, but I'm not convinced.

[daizie]

Oh hello Ted

[Ted Max]

Oh hello, daizie.

Is something up?

[daizie]

Not yet ;-)