Miss East Dulwich 2010

[macroban]

As we enter the New Austerity and return to traditional values I wondered whether we should reinstate the annual East Dulwich Beauty Queen contest.

From careful reading of the East Dulwich Forum I know that there are sufficient young men would would volunteer for the panel of judges.

It is less clear that the large number of young women who are competent and efficient organisers would have the spare time to do the organisation.

The competition could be held as part of the late Spring Goose Green Fair and take place under the East Dulwich Forum banner.

[pablogrande]

of course they ALL have lovely bottoms

[Domitianus]

I would like to volunteer my services as a judge. And I can assure you that my decision will be based upon the personal character of the contestants, rather than a crude and lecherous assessment of their looks.

To show that we have moved forward and are not a bunch of crusty, sexist old dinosaurs I propose that we should allow these tarts to show they have brains as well as beauty by having a section of the contest based upon the ability to change a tyre. In the unlikely event of any totty beng able to complete such a task it will show that these beauties are not as thick as s**t fter all.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Why should they aspire to change a tyre? Surely they are hoping for world peace!

[SimonM]

As a crusty and sexist old dinosaur let me say straightaway that, in line with the OP's cri de coeur for a return to traditional values, I would most certainly base my marking in such a competition on markedly crude and lecherous assessments of the gels' looks. As for getting them to change a tyre, I believe the tried and trusted method is to stand by the roadside, looking helpless and forlorn, and flashing a shapey leg at likely looking chaps in motor cars as they pootle by. I have to admit though that this has never worked for me....

[red devil]

that's because your legs aren't shapely enough Simon...

[Ladymuck]

SimonM Wrote:

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> As a crusty and sexist old dinosaur let me say

> straightaway that, in line with the OP's cri de

> coeur for a return to traditional values, I would

> most certainly base my marking in such a

> competition on markedly crude and lecherous

> assessments of the gels' looks. As for getting

> them to change a tyre, I believe the tried and

> trusted method is to stand by the roadside,

> looking helpless and forlorn, and flashing a

> shapey leg at likely looking chaps in motor cars

> as they pootle by.

I have to admit though that

> this has never worked for me....

...and when was the last time you shaved your legs?!;-)

[Domitianus]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

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> Why should they aspire to change a tyre? Surely

> they are hoping for world peace!

And I believe they are aspiring to improve provisions for the welfare of small children and good-looking animals.

[James]

Might I suggest in the interests of equality that we have male totty as well?

They can be judged on categories such as quality of manscaping, pectorals and empathy skills.

Contestants would be required to wear tiny little shorts and bunny ears.