Give + Take

[Jeremy]

How dare somebody spend their own, hard earned money on a wedding dress! A WEDDING dress of all things!

[Blah Blah]

'Do you have an issue with someone spending nearly 5k on a wedding gown?'

Yes because it's an obscene amount to spent on a dress for one day. 5k is min wage for someone for FIVE months. I won't even go into what 5k means to the poor in other countries. To me, and it is just my view, it typifies a lot about what is wrong in our values. I stand by that view and whilst people on a forum that is predominetly middle class might not agree, there are billions of people around the world who would. They don't even know who Lagerfield is and really couldn't care less either.

Also to be fair, the poster didn't say she got a discount. She said it cost nearly 5k, to make some kind of point. The vast majority of weddings around the world have no need of expensive designer gowns. It a consumer con that some people are daft enough to be sucked into.

[Jeremy]

Be careful there Blah. Very hard to say that kind of thing without being hypocritical. We're all free to spend our money on the things which are important to you. Some would say buying a 20K car or a 2K television is obscene.

[redjam]

Wow, you must be fun to have at parties, Blah Blah.

[edcam]

I'd quite like a list of Blah Blah's possessions and their price, so we can make a moral judgement about whether he should have spent what he spent on each item.

[Blah Blah]

I'd never spend that on a car either Jeremy :)

I just have a different perspective redjam, that's all. Yes I have strong views on inequality, poverty etc (as does my wife). But we both work in professions that see the impacts of those things. I'm not trying to single out anyone, just to make people think about what really matters in the world.

[numbers]

What Jeremy and Lady Muck said.

Nothing to do with you how people spend their money, blah blah. How insulting. 5k on a wedding dress is not obscene, as it's their money and more importantly, their choice. The OP does not have to justify anything and it was a kind gesture to donate it to a meaningful cause anyway.

[Blah Blah]

edcam Wrote:

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> I'd quite like a list of Blah Blah's possessions

> and their price, so we can make a moral judgement

> about whether he should have spent what he spent

> on each item.

Why are you making this into petulant nonsense? I think I've made a valid point and made is concisely. You don't have to agree with it. If you want to have a debate then stick to the point.

Btw the most expensive thing we have is the house and we haven't finished paying for that yet. Probably the next thing is the kids (they cost a furtune) and we haven't finished paying for them yet either :D

[Blah Blah]

My point is this numbers. Using the words charity (and there's some debate as to how much of this shops proceeds went to charity) and an expensive dresss to make a point about charity makes no sense to me. Why not give 5k directly to a charity that will use every penny of that for charity? Beyond a certain proportionate value, items just become status symbols. I think there is a discussion to be had about that and find it dismaying that so many of you are trying to shoot that down.

[Laddy Muck]

Blah Blah Wrote:

----------------

> ....it's an obscene amount to spent on a

> dress for one day. 5k is min wage for someone for

> FIVE months. I won't even go into what 5k means to

> the poor in other countries. To me, and it is just

> my view, it typifies a lot about what is wrong in

> our values. I stand by that view and whilst people

> on a forum that is predominetly middle class might

> not agree, there are billions of people around the

> world who would. They don't even know who

> Lagerfield is and really couldn't care less

> either.

YOU feel that "it's an obscene amount to [spend] on a dress for one day"; I get that. However, there are many who don't share your view. People attach different meanings and values to things in life. Why do you feel the need to politicise? And how on earth can you possibly know that this forum is comprised of members that are "predomi[nantly] middle class"? I, for one, had never heard of Karl Largerfeld until today and my total wedding bill was ?30 (including bus fare).

> Also to be fair, the poster didn't say she got a

> discount. She said it cost nearly 5k, to make some

> kind of point. The vast majority of weddings

> around the world have no need of expensive

> designer gowns. It a consumer con that some people

> are daft enough to be sucked into.

So what that the poster didn't mention the discount? Why do you say that s/he was making "some kind of point"; that is your psychological projection. And even if s/he were, so what? As for this "consumer con" that "some people are daft enough to be sucked into", well, so what? I experience you as judgemental, but so bloomin what!

[Jeremy]

Oh dear... poor old blah blah...

[Otta]

This was what NewWave wrote.

NewWave Wrote:

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> Give and take were more than just a 'posh' charity

> shop-a portion of the money went to breast cancer

> charities, and they were the ONLY shop that

> donated specifically to breast cancer research.

> They've been going at least 2 years to the best of

> my knowledge, but I had noticed that the quality

> of donations and garments they were se-selling for

> people had gone downhill in the past 6months.

> I'm gutted its gone-I used to donate all my no

> longer wanted designer garments to them (I even

> donated a Karl Largerfeld wedding gown costing

> originally nearly 5k ).

> Breast Cancer affects so many women -and men-it

> was a shop with a worthy cause and I really upset

> that the people on this forum are only worrying

> about how they can make money from their unwanted

> clothes as opposed to being upset at the loss of a

> way to donate to a worthwhile charity.

> This is a cause that mens a lot to me so apologies

> if I've gone off on one!

I just think it's pretty bloody harsh to read that post from someone who is clearly passionate about a cause, and to grab on to one aspect of it and try to paint them as some sort of wrongun. Sorry but that's pretty bad form BB.

[Mrs TP]

Trying to get back on topic, it just wasn't a pleasant shopping experience. Not very friendly when you entered the shop or dealing with donations. They had some different assistants in more recent times who were a 100% more pleasant than initial staff but by then I think most locals were already giving it a wide birth.

A niche shop for regular donors and customers who seemed to specifically travel to it. Not a popular destination for locals and those from further afield in enough numbers to keep it going.

Sad for the owners but probably not missed by many.

[TE44]

I can't help feel its a bit off to make a comment

About the quality of garments in an expensive secondhand shop, then go onto say about all the designer gear you've donated.

[NewWave]

Blah Blah Wrote:

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> My point is this numbers. Using the words charity

> (and there's some debate as to how much of this

> shops proceeds went to charity) and an expensive

> dresss to make a point about charity makes no

> sense to me. Why not give 5k directly to a charity

> that will use every penny of that for charity?

> Beyond a certain proportionate value, items just

> become status symbols. I think there is a

> discussion to be had about that and find it

> dismaying that so many of you are trying to shoot

> that down.

FYI I am a shop assistant and I don't earn much-in fact not much over the minimum wage.

HOWEVER it is MY MONEY to spend how I chose, and even if I had paid the full retail value for the dress-so what?

Ive worked hard all my life and I think I should be allowed to spend my earnings in whichever way makes me happy.

Some spend thousands on a holiday-I don't but I don't slag them off for their choice.

I never would-I'd be happy for them being able to enjoy something they'd dreamed of through their own hard graft.

We all have different things that mean a lot to us-I happen to love clothes and I care deeply about breast cancer charities for reasons I won't divulge on a public forum, for me that shop was a way I could give something back.

Now I will find another way to help the fight, it may be selling clothes on ebay and donating direct to the charity but thats beside the point.

Please don't slag me off.

[TE44]

When a shop states all profits from donations

go to charity, does anyone know if the profits

are published for public info. I believe this was

The first shop of this name, anyone know who the owner was.

[ali2007]

Ok so wasn't this shop a clothes exchange - you took your clothes in. Someone else buys them. But instead of being given cash for the sale (less a fee) you were given credit in store.

For me, if I'm selling designer clothes - it's because I need the cash. Not more designer clothes.

I used to work in fashion so perhaps am the exception to the rule but eBay served me better. That being said, it's a shame to see it go - especially as it donated to breast cancer - but for me, their business model didn't make sense.

[dds29]

Sorry to break into this exciting spat about wedding dresses, but to get back to the original query, I asked them why they were closing, and, surprise surprise, it was a triple hike to the rent. They've been there 5 years.

[NewWave]

Moving away from the wedding dress debate and onto how much it saddens me that greedy landlords are homogenising yet another high st.

The only people who can afford these kind of rents are the chains and London is losing its 'villages' and becoming just one giant sprawl of Starbucks,Nando's Pizza shops, Tesco express etc etc...

I saw it happen with Notting Hill where I lived for over 40years,Its happened to Shorditch, Clapham, SoHo Islington.Marylebone.

When I visited Paris recently I was at once struck and charmed by how many independent shops there were,

Young designers,niche and specalist shops selling things like buttons or old lamps.

Our city is becoming bland-we were once a nation of shopkeepers now it seems we are a nation of Coffee drinking Pizza Eating internet shoppers.

Sad

[Kbomb]

It is fine if the independent shops are decent quality. What is not good is if you have a high street full of charity shops.

[Otta]

Whilst I see where you're coming from NewWave, I'd much rather a Nando's than a shop seeling either buttons or old lamps.

[DulwichFox]

NewWave Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Moving away from the wedding dress debate and onto

> how much it saddens me that greedy landlords are

> homogenising yet another high st.

> The only people who can afford these kind of rents

> are the chains and London is losing its 'villages'

> and becoming just one giant sprawl of

> Starbucks,Nando's Pizza shops, Tesco express etc

> etc...

> I saw it happen with Notting Hill where I lived

> for over 40years,Its happened to Shorditch,

> Clapham, SoHo Islington.Marylebone.

> When I visited Paris recently I was at once struck

> and charmed by how many independent shops there

> were,

> Young designers,niche and specalist shops selling

> things like buttons or old lamps.

> Our city is becoming bland-we were once a nation

> of shopkeepers now it seems we are a nation of

> Coffee drinking Pizza Eating internet shoppers.

> Sad

That statement was attributed to Napoleon although there is doubt if he actually ever said it..

It would of been circa. 1794. so it was a long time ago..

There are far too many food outlets in East Dulwich / Lordship Lane. and a few more clothes shops would

be appreciated to give The White Stuff a run for its money. (similar Stuff to River Island but twice the price.)

DulwichFox

[Jeremy]

Looks like the site is going to become something called "question air".

[Angelina]

I asked in White Stuff for some help measuring a top for my friend and was told they were 'too busy'

Some nice shops, with nice people would be nice.

[Sue]

Jeremy Wrote:

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> Looks like the site is going to become something

> called "question air".

This, then??

http://www.question-air.com/