Top Tips

[Ladymuck]

HAL9000 Wrote:

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> daizie Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Keep your testicles cosy and warm

>

> Is your recommendation based on personal

> experience?

Daizie doesn't have testicles!

[HAL9000]

Ladymuck Wrote:

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> Daizie doesn't have testicles!

Prove it!

[Ladymuck]

HAL9000 Wrote:

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> Ladymuck Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Daizie doesn't have testicles!

>

> Prove it!

*massive horror gasp"

[HAL9000]

Ladymuck Wrote:

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> *massive horror gasp"

Sounds like you've had a peep and been proved wrong!

[Ladymuck]

HAL9000 Wrote:

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> Sounds like you've had a peep and been proved

> wrong!

*despite valiant attempt not to - collapses laughing*

You are BAD...HAL9000...oh so bad...

[daizie]

ASTHMATICS. Avoid going on holiday to places where the scenery is described as breathtaking.

[daizie]

Ladymuck Wrote:

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> HAL9000 Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Ladymuck Wrote:

> >

> --------------------------------------------------

>

> > -----

> > > Daizie doesn't have testicles!

> >

> > Prove it!

>

>

> *massive horror gasp"

I could have a massive pair of b0ll0x underneath my nightie

[Ladymuck]

daizie Wrote:

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>

> I could have a massive pair of b0ll0x underneath

> my nightie

Oh my Lord!

[KidKruger]

If out in the park during winter with some cans of lager, don't pee in a bush, fill-up one of your empty cans and use it as a lovely handwarmer - 37 degrees you know, though don't tip it.

[daizie]

DON'T THROW away old underpants. With the leg holes sewn up and filled with earth, they make smashing hanging baskets for trailing plants.

[jimmy two times]

Actresses

Next time you do an advert for a diarrhoea remedy ,spend some of your fee on a pair of dark glasses. That way, when you are in the supermarket you won't have people pointing at you saying 'there's the woman with the sh1tty arse'

[daizie]

*

[woofmarkthedog]

Parents

In the school holidays, don't bother tidying up & looking after the children all the time

Go and stay in a 5 star luxury spa hotel on the coast

They do everything for you

Ahhhh.....yes indeede..

W**F

[TillieTrotter]

Now that's what I call a top tip Woofers!

[woofmarkthedog]

I know

It's my best TopTipTM

http://www.stbridesspahotel.com/

W**F

[woofmarkthedog]

Wow Wee...

Isn't the World Wide Web full of amazing stuff, I found these useful "Top-tips" on.......

"How to Spot A Fake Psychic"

Step 2

If the psychic you go to is wearing a costume, most likely they aren't legitimate. If they feel that they have to dress up to look like a good psychic, most likely they are simply using the image to try getting your attention and then scam you.

Step 4

If a psychic does something to "prove" that he or she has legitimate powers, like bending a spoon with their mind, pay attention carefully. There are a number of ways to bend a spoon that aren't psychic at all, but can easily be made to appear as though they are. For instance, if the "psychic" starts to bend forward, as though their stomach hurts from concentrating so hard, they are most likely using their chair to bend the spoon but they do so in a way that makes it appear to be their mind. Pay attention. They might just be good actors.

Who would have thought it possible......?

* reconsiders Fez option *

W**F

[daizie]

Weedy fellas. Develop a right forearm like Arnold Schwarzeneggar by buying one of those Cindy Crawford workout videos.

[Mick Mac]

daizie Wrote:

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> Weedy fellas. Develop a right forearm like Arnold

> Schwarzeneggar by buying one of those Cindy

> Crawford workout videos.

Don't get it ? Please expand.

[woofmarkthedog]

wanker

[felt-tip]

if you have a spare bucket laying around that you keep tripping over then turn it upside down, cover it in some old carpet and use it as a seat or something else.

[SteveT]

To remove scratches from your watch or glasses use the wool stuff in duraglit.

A tip from my uncle who was a chemist,

take a half-full fairy liquid bottle,

add an equal amount of paraffin,

and shake,

the resultant mixture removes oil and grease from hands better than famous hand cleanser's.

[Brendan]

SteveT Wrote:

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> To remove scratches from your watch or glasses use

> the wool stuff in duraglit.

What is this stuff you talk of? Only I've scratched my watch.

[SteveT]

It comes in a tin with impregnated woolly stuff and the woolly stuff when rubbed onto the glass removes most scratches.

Silver cleaner, and brass cleaner in the same tins, available from any hardware store will do the same job.

Drop into the shop that has the plastic bowls on the pavement in LL.

[Brendan]

Cheers Steve.

[brum]

Does the same go for Prada sunglasses? It's just I've a slight scratch on the left lens.