Ever felt you have might have lost it?

[womanofdulwich]

Do you ever think you have lost it? Do you ever think "I am far too slow to do this job my brain is so full of stuff that for something else to go in something else has to come out?" Is it just me being of a certain age and thinking I will be found out at work soon as no longer being up to it? Or do other people think the same? May be its a woman thing but I wonder if anyone else feels the same secretly?

[PeckhamRose]

What does 'Women of a certain age' mean? As long as women refuse to say how old they are they will not be treated seriously or professionally in society or in the work place. We women can be our own worst enemies in this area, and allowing men to use that phrase can be patronising too.

I am 51. Sometimes I know I forget things, but then I remember I have often forgotten things! Being upset or frustrated or angry about it (I'm not saying you are) makes it worse, so I just relax and enjoy it all.

[daizie]

Yes Womanofdulwich, but iv'e never had it, just good at blagging it :-$

[giggirl]

WoD - you've just had a bad day. Nothing to do with your age. You no doubt bring a wealth of experience to anything you touch which is probably valued by your friends and colleagues. Only a bad day and it will pass.

[womanofdulwich]

Well Peckham Rose I am not yet 50, but for the past few years I have been looking around and I know I am not as sharp as I was. I am finding it rather hard to take on board. I have come across dippy women and thought oh god let me know if I am getting like that and now I wonder if I am in the first throws- you know the indecisive ones- the ones that need constant assurances? I may be in the early stages - But I wondered if this is how it will be and should I change professions now to something a little less demanding?

[katie1997]

Oh WoD....I honestly don't think its you..I think its a very common feeling in people of all ages. Like the others say..it was probably just down to a bad day...or a few bad days...or a bad week. I think you sound very conscientious about your work and that is always a good thing...you wouldn't be worrying about it otherwise. I think that women worry about this more than men (although happy to be corrected on this one!)

By all means think about changing profession if you want a change but certainly not for this one. I know for a fact that its very very common that people often feel like they are 'bluffing' in their role or not good enough for it or that someone else would handle it better....we ALL have that from time to time..honestly :)

[womanofdulwich]

You are being very kind- I think it is fine to forget what you went to Sainsburys for- I have no problem with that sort of forgetting, but I wondered if anyone else who has worked through having children reaches middle age and feels they should do something a little bit less stressful? Something less pressurised? I know people go and make cheese etc ( not for me). Whats the answer?

[Ladymuck]

womanofdulwich Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Do you ever think you have lost it? Do you ever

> think "I am far too slow to do this job my brain

> is so full of stuff that for something else to go

> in something else has to come out?" Is it just me

> being of a certain age and thinking I will be

> found out at work soon as no longer being up to

> it? Or do other people think the same? May be its

> a woman thing but I wonder if anyone else feels

> the same secretly?

Oh dear oh dear...dear womanofdulwich, I've been forgetful/scatty/and all-the-rest-of it, all my life...but I couldn't give a toss (*laughs*). It happens...and it happens to men too (only they probably don't talk about it as much as women). You probably just need more sleep, less stress in your life and more holidays...just like the rest of us. Don't worry about it...xx

Now what was I saying?...

[Annasfield]

I'm often surprised by people's age on here. Honestly pictured you in your late 30s PR.

[woofmarkthedog]

No I'm as shar....

Sorry but what was the question again ?

Oh yes, I never use a rice cooker, there we go see, like a razor

Indeed

W**F

[Steady Eddy]

-

[giggirl]

You may find that you're not as hungry as you once were. Nothing to do with your age. If your circumstances changed and, for example, you became the main breadwinner or you had to fight to keep your lifestyle or your home or whatever is important to you, then I reckon you would soon find out that you're as sharp as a razor blade. Like most of us you loose the hunger after a bit.

[LegalEagle-ish]

When I hit 30 I had the same thing, I was running my own business and multi-tasking famly too, but my concentration went and my memory too. It turned out I had an undiagnosed under-active thyroid gland. When I was finally diagnosed, I was given thyroxine and my brain just switched back on. I'd had to sell my business by then and my marriage was on the rocks, but it was reassuring to know that my slowing brain was not just caused by stress, it had an organic (and curable) cause.

If this is an unusual slowing down of your mental faculties, don't just accept it as growing older, there may be an underlying reason that can be found and overcome.

Good luck.

[PeckhamRose]

I agree with what people have said above - and yes get yourself a gang of blood tests to check everything's working well.

(And annasfield interesting I come over to you as younger.)

"I have come across dippy women and thought oh god let me know if I am getting like that and now I wonder if I am in the first throws- you know the indecisive ones- the ones that need constant assurances? I may be in the early stages - But I wondered if this is how it will be and should I change professions now to something a little less demanding?"

Sometimes I believe this to be behavioural. My Mum's like this and other women I have seen who have never had to make decisions for themselves throughout their lives. Maybe they were spoilt at home and married men who took over sort of thing, so that at a point in their lives where they have to make decisions they absolutely can't do it as they have never had to. I have always had to look after myself, and sometimes when I am faced with a load of choice (a hundred shampoos or too long a wine list not being typical examples!!) I walk away. Or when they have always been told they're fine and wonderful suddenly there is no-one to tell them and so they have no self esteem as it has always been given by others.

Am I going off track?

[jimmy two times]

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.

[brum]

You are not alone in the fear of being 'found out' at work. In reality I expect you're more than capable. How long have you been a nuclear submarine commander? ;-)

[Sue]

I recently went to my school class reunion (all 60 this year) and actually yes, it might be an age thing.

We all had memory probs etc which we didn't have when we were younger.

But - so what? What about concentrating on the positive things you bring to your work? Personally I just say upfront that I've got a memory like a sieve these days, and make loads of lists.

[SteveT]

I keep a diary to remind me of the things I have to do............

and then I forget to read what i've written.

[womanofdulwich]

Peckham Rose I think you are right. I have always run the house, children, schools , finances. Always made the decisions and felt quite strongly and passionately. I don't think I will turn into one of those women", phew.

Gig girl I think you are spot on. My partner ( finally after 20 years)now has a well paid job and the pressure is off me, and I think that is it-I have lost my hunger.

What a great bunch you are. I am feeling a lot better now!:)

[Y'man]

It's not a 'woman thing', it's an everyone thing. All animals suffer corruption of brain cells as we age. It helps to use it as much as you can, it's like a muscle, if you don't use it you'll lose it. As we progress there will always be someone coming along behind that can learn and do what you've been doing for years quicker than you now can and with their eyes shut. Just like you used to do it.

[woofmarkthedog]

No I do it slower with my eyes open

Just how Mrs W**F likes it !

What....what ?...jeeeeeze some people !

W**F