susyp

ok so i just tried my mooncup - i've had it for a while after this thread and i remembered to try it out when I read this (right time). DOES NOT WORK FOR ME or am i just doing it wrong. Was uncomfortable and excruiating when I took it out. Sigh. And I thought it was to be the answer to all my problems. Still think it is a brilliant invention though. Susypx

it is difficult to get enough vit d. My mum is a keen gardener, however obviously older, and quite dark skinned, with a very limited diet due to ibs - so she only gets it from being outside. And yet she has chronic deficiency - obviously in winter it is hard to get outside- but it does show how easy it is to get deficient and i imagine a lot of people have a mild deficiency. It's definitely made me think more about trying to get my daughter outside for longer periods. Also we were told face and arms need to be exposed in order to soak up the vit d - so obviously in winter that is difficult. Interestingly my parents have always been very critical of me smothering my daughter in sunscreen (she is a red head!)they said they very rarely put it on us, and my sister is particularly white blond and fairskinned , and now I can see their point! susypx

That's so lovely working mummy thank you for posting. susypx

working mummy that book sounds amazing, I shall check it out! have a nice glass of wine tonight too!! I think you deserve it! having children is so complicated. And I think the more you care, the more complicated it is. mine has meltdowns on the way home from school most days. although i find if i can bring her food that takes her the entire journey home to eat then we at least get through the door and scooby doo switched on before she remembers about having her meltdown. susypx

ooh not that i mean to be nasty but here's hoping your friend has a hell of a time with it with their baby! would be very annoying if they got a good sleeper and put it down to their parenting expertise!! i can;t bear people like that especially BEFORE a baby. have to say my sister was a bit like this and then never did controlled crying with her baby. susypx

just to say in support of workingmummy i deliberately didn;t send my child to one of the local primary schools as it had a "mood" board that the children had to put on their "mood" every morning. at 4 years old. really?! or should they come in , sit down and listen to the teacher. Yes I think so. and yet the primary school I did send her too I felt had a much more friendly , open attitude in general, especially towards working with parents. not in east dulwich i hasten to add before anyone gets cross. any, i digress slightly. just wanted to say , I feel workingmummy's pain, on so many levels. my child isn't angry now, but certainly was a year or so back. And she is also very different with me than with my husband, her teacher, her grandparents. Children are different with their mums - as they can totally let loose I think. So that also means far more meltdowns. And that is not because I don't look her in the eye, or give her my full attention when she speaks to me. That is because I am her mum and that is just how it is. And sometimes, No is just No. without lots of explanations. And yes, in an ideal world, no arguing in front of kids. But, the world is far from ideal. Sorry. susypx

rice k and cheerios go down well with mine. A dietitian once told me that any cereal was better than any other breakfast. of course i always have toast or a bagel, but i insist my daughter has cereal! susypx

My mum has a severe vitamin d deficiency and is using a sun lamp, as many of the supplements have quite bad side effects. Shove the little ones outside as much as possible! Susypx

my one just does that in order for me to wipe it - i come in and there she is. not sure what age is too old but i am guessing full time school means they need to learn this skill! susypx

There was a very helpful thread recently on getting your child to get dressed. I took up the very excellent suggestion of having a race to get dressed in the morning, - we've done it now for 10 days - and it is working a treat. not only does my daughter dress herself, it also means that I am dressed in plenty of time in the morning - so everything is going a lot more smoothly on school days! i thought she would see straight through me - but no! tips now on badly needed on getting them to wipe their bottoms after a no 2 please? I had to take my daughter home from school yesterday with a really bad tummy ache - she did a big poo when she got home and then was fine - had been holding it since morning break as was worried about wiping - she won't wipe herself as is worried about getting mucky hands. I have demonstrated til kingdom come and will she do it - no! She is now however receptive as she appreciates that she needs to do herself as was in so much pain from holding it - I have a feeling she will come in today desperate as is due for one -- what do I do to get her to do it herself. Is it just a case of trial and error and getting on with it? I have told her that I will never tell her off for coming home with mucky pants from school if she can't get it right. susypx ps. can i just say how much i love this forum. that i can come for advice on such a subject - i wouldn't ask the mums at the school gate !! (and that;s an entirely different thread from previously!!)

fushcia we love west wales - amazing beaches - quite empty - last year was ok for a few days but mainly just so cold ! we were the only people without wetsuits and i am amazed my daughter didn't get hypothermia as was in sea so much - this year we are definitely investing in wetsuits as even if it is warm the sea is still pretty cold!! fingers crossed, following this thread with interest as we haven't been abroad since having my daughter. I have always had a fear of flying but we used to go away a lot regardless and i would just tank up on wine at the airport and virtually pass out on takeoff! more difficult now. and also i worry more having my daughter with me. So need a nice short flight to a nice hot destination !! pretty interested in mallorca, from various threads on this subject, but please everyone keep posting your links to anywhere nice and affordable! susypx

agree with you mrs tp about thomson - they charge for everything - so initial price looks low and then it soon costs a bomb! and i am also with you on portugal although it is rididulous probably safest place in world now for kids, but i just can't bring myself to go there - it's beautiful on the algarve too just booked west wales for 2 weeks in august! cold though! was thinking about maybe going to cyprus one of the half terms as that I believe is pretty warm outside the peak summer months? susypx

I honestly think that a child's friends are more important than their siblings. And that perhaps we as parents of onlys, have a bit of a duty to help foster that. I am a bit useless at arranging playdates but plan to work on that this year. And when they get to teenage years, you can take their friends on holiday too - I would have LOVED that had it been offer when I was that age! susypx

having said i was fine with one, which i am now, what does make me cross is how clueless other people can be. Just returned from a kids party where there was a little newborn baby there - cue lots of clucking mums. All with 2 or 3 children discussing whether or not they want more. Of course that's fine really and I just walked away from the conversation but I do wonder why people don't think about why some of us only have one child. Normally there is some reason behind it after all. susypx

mine recently said - i won't let you be my mummy anymore. I pointed out she didn't have a lot of choice! susypx

GinaG3 I felt exactly like you for quite a long time. And I think when my daughter was the same age as your child, as so many of her friends had baby siblings. It's like the choice has been taken away. And my case it became clear to me that I was risking my life to have another - so the choice is perhaps easier for me as it's so clearcut. But I definitely was miserable for quite a time. And also I am lot older than you, I would be a high risk pregnancy anyway now. I can imagine at your age it must be so much harder. I hope that whatever you decide ends up working for you. My husband pointed out to me that perhaps what I was missing was my daughter as a baby , and also pointed out that that is the reason grandparents can get nostalgic - they are thinking of their children as babies. Everyone feels nostalgic when they think of their children as babies. And once I had thought about that I realised that yes, it was her I was missing, and that perhaps another baby would not help. Of course if things were different I would have had one or even two more but I am definitely now at peace with having the one. And seeing how she is around her baby cousins - quite manic with the fact she has to share attention now - has made me realise that having a baby sibling is not a small issue for some children!! I was fine with it - I am not sure my daughter would be!! susypx

I also have decided to stick with the one because of health issues. Last year, when she started nursery and everyone seemed to have siblings, I really struggled with it. But now that she is 4, in reception, with quite a few other "onlys", and I am going back to work, I am really seeing the benefits of it. We have such a lovely , gorgeous relationship. Of course we would have that if she had siblings but there is something really special about mums and daughters in an only child family. My cousin is also an only and now grown up - and her and her mum are so unbelievably close, in a way I never had with my mum. I have seen it with quite a few people. Of course it depends on the individuals concerned, but I am really hoping that we can reap the benefits of her being an only in our own relationship. Also lots of people have told me she would ask for a sibling, and she never has, not even begun to mention it. I think she really enjoys being the only one. It can be quite hard work as she very rarely plays on her own and I do things with her all the time - but it's less hard work now that she is at school. Have to say I am loving it. And the freedom it gives me is amazing. If I need help with childcare then it's so easy to ask a friend as it's only one child I am asking them to take as well. I think now, that if the health issues didn;t exist, I wouldn't have any more children and would just stick with my rather wonderful daughter! susypx

The difference perhaps is that most people have had chicken pox at some point in their life, so the risk is not that high. My daughter was directly exposed twice in the summer term and was also just before Christmas. That would have been a lot of holidays missed had we wanted to fly and decided not to because of that. I think any public travel is a risk if you have low immunity and probably chicken pox is the least of your worries. susypx Also at each time the exposure has been within a class - her friends. On each time only two or three children have gone down with it in the class, so it requires more than just breathing the same air to catch it.

but she can't not go away because of exposure. Children are exposed all the time. Sure it will be fine. Anyone who has low immunity knows the risks if they travel. And I say that at someone who did once have low immunity. I wouldn't have expected someone with a child who had been exposed to chicken pox not to get on the same plane as me! susypx also i guess if the chicken pox appears and you can't get back until the spots are crusted over, then your travel insurance would cover this? worth checking.

My daughter has been exposed 3 times to chicken pox, including once with her best friend at school. She has never caught it - so you might be lucky! susypx

also to say that you must feel like it is never going to end , I know I did, but now that he is 10 months you are not that far away from a better nights sleep. Things definitely got better for me around this time, I really can't remember the stages but definitely after a year things did get a little better. And if you think about where you started, the nights of virtually no sleep, I am sure things are much better. I echo the idea of going to bed really realy early. I am normally going to bed by about 9 these days, I've just got fed up of being so tired all the time. But there was no breakthrough time when I suddenly felt "normal" again, I am still tired with a child who sleeps all night. It just seems to be part and parcel of parenthood. But yes there is bearable and not bearable. I would never have another baby - I couldn't do the sleep deprivation. I hope your situation gets better soon, I'm not posting advice obviously just utter sympathy!! susypx

just to put the other point - my daughter (in my view) needed milk in the night twice until she was 18 months. I tried to wean her off it a couple of times before , and then used the same method (reducing amount in bottle) at 18 months and it finally worked a dream. I really believe she was hungry up til then. She finally slept through at 2 years and we've had no problems (apart from illness) since. probably not what you want to hear! susypx

i used white wine vinegar in the bath for my daughter when she had a recurrent vaginal infections (a cup per bath) and no bubble stuff and it definitely seemed to help clear it up. susypx

yes I take your points. my concern is not so much the late walking, but just the general lack of interest in wanting to do things. but then he did somewhat destroy my house last time he was here which was a bit more toddler usual. that's what I meant really about it being hard to judge. My daughter was early to do everything but that brought its own problems - she ran before she could really walk properly (lots of falls), spoke very early and got cross with other children who couldn't (cue lots of pushing and biting) and was very tall so everyone thought she should be better behaved than she was. I do totally appreciate they are all different and all have their own challenges. I just find the complete lack of babble very odd. but will wait til I am asked about it and be ready with a coherent response. they have friends with babies too, so it must be obvious and maybe they would be better people to discuss with than a family member. susypx

yes that would be great - we use the vit c chewy ones but be v interested in what gp has recommended you use - we only have neocate and even that is becoming an issue now that she is 4 1/2 = gp registrar actually rang me to question the prescription as said most children grow out of milk allergy by 1 or 2 (ie were we sure she was still allergic as in her view she couldn't be ..... MORON). susypx