Narnia

Surely being a pear it's the price for two?

Can anyone explain what these wheeled delivery trolleys that are locked to a lamp post are all about? Is is like tying your horse up while you visit the saloon?

This got the whole of Sydney laughing. Read it and you'll see why! Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney .. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called 'Mate Match'. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers 'yes', he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with (phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those samethree questions correctly, they both win the prize. One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down: DJ: 'Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?' Contestant: (laughing) 'Yes, I have.' DJ: 'Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.' Contestant: 'Brian.' DJ: 'Brian, are you married or what?' Brian: (laughing nervously) 'Yes, I am married.' DJ: 'Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please.' Brian: 'Sara.' DJ: 'Is Sara at work, Brian?' Brian: 'She is gonna kill me.' DJ: 'Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?' Brian: (laughing) 'Yes, she's at work.' DJ: 'Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?' Brian: 'About 8 o'clock this morning.' DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' Brian: (laughing sheepishly) 'Well...' DJ: 'Question #2 - How long did it last?' Brian: 'About 10 minutes.' DJ: 'Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake.' Brian: 'Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.' DJ: 'Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning? Brian: (laughing hard) 'I, ummm, I, well...' DJ: 'This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?' Brian: 'Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for couple of weeks...' DJ: 'Uh huh...' Brian: '...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time...' DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' Brian: 'On the kitchen table.' DJ: 'Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this.' [3 minutes of commercials follow. ] DJ: 'Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?' (Touch tones.....ringing....) Clerk: 'Kinkos.' DJ: 'Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere? Clerk: 'This is she.' DJ: 'Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.' Sarah: (laughing) 'A couple of hours?' DJ: 'Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?' Sarah: 'No.' DJ: 'Good!' Brian: (laughing) Sarah: (laughing) 'Brian, what the hell are you up to?' Brian: (laughing) 'Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest.' DJ: 'Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us. Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.' DJ: 'Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?' Sarah: 'Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work.' DJ: 'What time?' Sarah: 'Around 8 this morning.' DJ: 'Very good. Next question. How long did it last?' Sarah: '12, 15 minutes maybe.' DJ: 'Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?' Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.' DJ: 'Where did you have it?' Sarah: 'OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?' Brian: 'Just tell him, honey.' DJ: 'What is bothering you so much, Sarah?' Sarah: 'Well...' DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it? Sarah: 'Up the arse.....' They had to call an ambulance for the DJ. He thought he was going to have a heart attack , he could not stop laughing. Apperently there was an unusually high call out of the Sydney Police just after this conversation, for minor traffic collisions. _________________________________________

For your sake I hope she doesn't read this!

I agree about Dulwich DIY. I've never noticed an unplesant woman there as a previous poster mentioned. The people there are friendly especially if you compare them to my feeling when entering the other place close to the library. Though it's closer to me I can never remember it's name. Go in there and you feel you need to know what you are talking about even if you are just a DIYer. Not friendly at all.

I like: feck, fecker, bollix (as in 'your only a...) and 'a cute hoor'. People who use f this and f that in every sentence should be sent to jail or at least electricution lessons!

I didn't get a reg.no.

Unless they were FOR a charity shop but I have to say ID theft was what occured to me!

Thanks to everyone who provided input on the subject!

Ultraconsultancy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Anyone who doesn't cry buckets when Salvatore > watches the reel full of kisses at the end of > Cinema Paradiso, has a heart of stone. Similarly > when the flower girl realises who the tramp is at > the end of City Lights. This is my absolute all time favourite. I hope you have seen the directors cut as it's about an hour longer than the released version and only adds to the story. PS I refer to Cinema Paradiso

The other frosty morning (it was still dark) I was sitting in my car waiting for the windscreen to defrost properly when a speedy lorry went by me and pulled up suddenly and parked partially on the footpath outside the CPT. This I thought was strange enough but out pops a man and a lady, both wearing luminous jackets. They go either side of the road on the footpath and behind where I was sitting. Promptly they both return holding two sacks each of rubbish. The man reachs the lorry first, opens up the back of it and throws the bags in. He then goes and helps the lady as she was struggling and in go the other two bags. I thought it strange that the vehicle was unmarked and not a council one. It wasn't rubbish collection day and besides they were obviously selective in what they took.This puzzled me as most if not all people have bins.I didn't see where the rubbish came from but I suspect the bags were not in bins. As they returned to the vehicle I was at this point hoping my increasing curiousity would be satisfied but found that though the back of the man's yellow jacket was blank, the orange one the lady was wearing had 'Royal Mail' on it. Is this a case for Morse or is there a simple explanation?

.......for advice. My other half has heard of this affliction and is deeply concerned that one day this may happen to me. Naturally enough I've tried to reassure her that it only happens to other people and indeed as I've only ever read about it myself it may well be a myth. However if any of you can throw some light on this subject it would be appreciated.....just in case!

As Sean might say.........'what's wrong with using the original thread to make this comment'? Just guessing Sean!

I live very near the CPT and will happily let you know if I see these girls. If one has red hair I presume it's dyed? My son who is now 16 has had some bad experiences returning from school in the last few years. Luckily he was big enough and bold enough to deal with the situations verbally and never been robbed. However as a parent you hate the thought of what might have happened. One question though.......can anything be done about these girls even if they are sighted? Also if something can be done how do we contact you?

Apart from missing an exclamation mark..........are you also missing an 'a' in your name?

'there is complete and utter filth' Bit judgemental are you not considering you state you are not passing judgement? What are you doing then?

Thanks for that TT!

Well 'pimp' is probably a bit strong. More like an introduction to a life outside the confines of a computer! Handsome chap he is with good manners. Could do with the guidence of an older woman methinks.

TillieTrotter Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Is he doing well at school? If so, leave him be. > You'd be pulling your hair out if he were roaming > the streets and causing aggro. > > I have a daughter who has just turned 18. She > pretty much did the same thing at that age and > just had great A level results and is now a fully > fledged walking talking adult. > > Good luck. Would she like to take out a 16yr old boy?

Michael Palaeologus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Will it be "Come on England" or "France" next > Saturday? It will be!

Curly, Larry and Mo?

If anyone has been there and done that, how does one operate a male 16 year old? No previous experience of dealing with one as is a lone child. Tends to go to school (studying A levels), play on computer and do nothing else. Does not like 'chats' to try and develop an interest in studying more and spending less time on the computer. Suggestion of cancelling broadband subscription unless an agreed 'timetable' put in place met with indifference. I understand 'models' of this age can be difficult to comprehend but would like to hear any sound advice from forumites. Am somewhat cheered up by a quote I read by some American writer which went something like 'when I was 14 I thought my father was ignorant, stupid and of little intelligence. By the time I was 21, I was amazed by how much he had learned'

Declan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Can this thread be deleted please? Well at least you changed the name of the thread..........sort of!

.............Declan has left the forum.........

I don't care if it's C'mon Fiji..............just get the name changed please!