PeckhamRose

Yeuchhhhhhhhhhhh shiver shiver shiver. Robert Elms, not H&G!

And with the council cuts, burials and cremations are going up lots. If you are on benefits you can get a small amount towards it but it is nothing like the real cost. Indeed Funeral Directors Association are themselves lobbying govt over increasing the amount they contribute. Incidentally, the phrase "Pauper's funeral" is a really inappropriate phrase. It sounds like no-one cares or does anything properly or with respect. I promise you this is not the case. In my experience Pauper's Funerals, properly called A funeral and the tax payer's expense or something, is carried out just as respectfully, and often a poem is read by the Funeral Director herself or himself (there are more women in this profession now and also a lot of younger men and women). I know that Humanist celebrants will work for free in thie situation too, especially if it is known the deceased was not religious. I certainly would do that (ie not charge).

If you do fill it out though and you are not religious, PLEASE mark NO which is the first option. And correct, they are supposed to reflect what is occurring on 27th.

When I worked at a funeral directors, 2 horse drawn cost about ?750 and 4 horse cost about ?1000. This was serveal years ago.

The Co-op is no cheaper than other funeral directors and you often get less choice of the days you have the cremation. I don't know if you would be entitled to dividends though if you present your Co-op card when you pay but now I am being silly. But what a BRILLIANT idea with the cardboard coffin being decorated by the kids. The wicker and bamboo coffins can also be decorated by threading flowers and mementoes within the threads of wicker or bamboo.

More: You also need to think about whether (if it is a cremation) there will be a formal commital or you want to leave the coffin in the room as you leave. Some people hate that, feeling they are abandoning the deceased. Others hate the thought of that final goodbye, but it does serve a purpose of the opportunity for a final goodbye to be said. A very important sense of closure. If you are having music make sure the crematorium staff have it in good time on the day. Whoever is leading the ceremony will have a button to press for the music and then if there is to be one, for the commital. Find out if they want CDs or on an MP3. As I trained to be a celebrant I was taught that if you get the funeral right it goes a mighty long way to helping in the grieving process. Heck, so many things to think about!

Don't read the following unless you are feeling detached and strong! I have worked as a funeral arranger, and now work as a Humanist Funeral Celebrant. I can tell you that technically, you could arrange to do everything yourself. What a funeral director will do for the money you pay (aside from the coffin), is a) take the pressure off, b) lend the proceedings formal dignity and utter respect c) organise the removal of the deceased from place of death to their morgue / freezer, and then organised a respectful well practiced funeral ceremony where they will arrive in the hearse and so on. As I said, technically, family and friends could do this themselves. But you need to think: 1) How are you going to get the deceased from the place of death to the crematorium, and where will he be in the meantime? There is the possibility the hospital (if that is where he dies) will keep him a few days until the ceremony. But how are you going to get him to the crematorium? 2) Indeed coffins come in all designs and colours and materials now, even reinforced cardboard boxes! (They're not really just cardboard boxes, imagine that for real if you will. Exactly.) You could of course have it delivered to the hospital if you contact the morgue for advice and then they can place the body in the coffin which the coffin company will deliver to them. 3) You can book the crematorium time yourself. Fine. But are any of the friends and relatives going to be in a strong enough emotional state to do all this organising? 4) You could even organise your own hearse and hearse driver separately. Look on line. I once hired a motorcycle hearse for a biker's funeral. But the hospital morgue will be the contact (if he dies there) and will be able to tell you what is and what is not possible. If he dies in a Hospice many of the larger ones also have their own freezers, which would be useful if you have to wait a day or two. If you are having him embalmed for others to view, embalming only usually lasts a few days, and after that I hate to say (I did warn you) the body does rather go down hill quickly. But embalming usually takes place at a funeral directors so I doubt this will be an issue here. So, for now, I would suggest you phoning the hospital morgue for advice and also the offices of the crematorium you are planning to have the ceremony at. They will both advise well. Then see if you can get a hearse organised, and discuss with closest friends and family if they're willing to go ahead and do everything themselves. Think about taking the coffin from the hearse to the catafalque (the place the coffin rests on in the crematorium). Usually takes four people preferably of similar heights. Can you think of who may be able to do this? Completely alternatively, of course if this is to be a cremation, you could go the American route, and not attend. They tend to just have a memorial at a separate place, and very rarely actually attend a crematorium. But whatever you do, remember there may be many friends and relatives who may, just may, be upset that it was not a formal ceremony. There is a lot of competition amongst funeral directors and I can honestly say that the rates are pretty much the same amongst all of them. It is a profession. They train for this stuff and I have never seen a ceremony that has not been carried out with anything less than perfection and utter respect. This goes for having worked in the 'back' offices, too. Sorry for having gone on so long. I wish you the best, and good for you for thinking about it. So many people do not until it is too late. Oh, and also think about who is going to speak? On average you have about 40 mins from the time the hearse arrives to the time the next one is due. So give yourselves 30 mins for the ceremony itself. If this is a religious ceremony you may need a vicar priest or whatever. If you don't some people who attend may be upset. If it is not a religious ceremony then think of the order of who and what can be said (PM me and I shall send you a brief template as a guide if you wish). Peckham Rose

Oh wow. T w @ is a swear word!

"Dabbling with things your not sure of is wrong" Thank the god I do not believe in, that the scientists who invented all the drugs involved in saving my life countless times and those of billions of others around the world, disagreed with your statement. You twat.

I just don't see why East Dulwich needs to be promoted on TV as a great place to live above anywhere else, really. I mean, it is a great place to live (or visit, as I do, from where I live Nunhead/Peckham Rye) because of many many reasons including local individual shops, the parks, the occasional friendliness (people can be incredibly rude no matter what background class or education) and helpfulness of the locals, and the general vibe, all difficult to show in a TV show. And how would that make interesting TV? It's a very 'So What' issue. Are we / the programme makers encouraging more people to come live here by having such a TV show, which would change its culture and put the property prices up even more, or are we just showing how nice it is to live here for its own sake. Are the programme makers about to make a series of 'nice places to live' in other parts of London / the South East / England / UK in general, or just a one off about here? No one or even three 'couples' can really be a complete represenation of East Dulwich folk, because there are many different types of people who live here, not just three, and the choice will be the programme makers' and not chosen by East Dulwich people to choose to represent all of them. However, I would also say I think it is wrong for people not to be paid a professional going rate, when being expected to give of their time and theirselves in a commercial venture, ie a television show. So there.

So you're all going to volunteer are you then?

I missed the first episodes of this. I love Maxine Peake and how she has so changed since dinnerladies days. Is it worth catching up? I LOVE love love The Big C though.

And Robert Redford. Even HE admitted he was just playing Robert Redford in the Ahhfrica film with Streep.

I asked MrPR to explain this post. He did as he has man brain. I know the answer because I have woman heart. He doesn't because he doesn't. The above is a lie.

But there is a busy roundabout at Goose Green which slows traffic down in an organic way (ie. not traffic light controlled but giving way to others when 'others' are there to give way to) - if more traffic is reduced to a pinch point up Grove Vale, there will be a back log of traffic at the roundabout. Don't you just love it? (And yes kford, I agree your point!)

And the documentary about kiddie fiddlers. It was actually about the media treatment / news items about kiddie fiddlers.

Have been reading the above. Very interesting! This one is really good, emotionally mature and honest stuff.

Alert your local Safer Neighbourhood Team. It's what they're there for. It's not my area so I do not know the number. It will be on the met police website though. Do a bit of a search and you will find it. (Doubt anyone here can help!)

Shame. This afternoon I went in to a pub where both the barmaid and several customers were openly smoking!! Shame about Sun & Doves, haven't been there in years and it used to be so very arty and *arty...!

Why does no-one actually write to the Manager of the place? (There was me thinking you were writing about the place in Italy!)

By the way, is someone mixing up Apple for Aspalls? You can buy it in most supermarkets but also health food stores, and it varies in price from place to place. A big bottle is about ?3.09

MrPR often has this. Mix together a Teaspoon of Aspalls ORGANIC Cyder Vinegar mixed with teaspoon of best quality honey into a mug, and then pour very hot (not boiling) water mixing cyder vinegar/honey mix into the mug. He likes it as a refreshing drink. I think it stinks the place out. He also claims he does not have the sort of rheumatic pain in his arm anymore that he used to. Could be a coincidence but there are lots of stories of older people drinking cyder vinegar to help with arthritis.

I get my news from EDF. Edited to add, and I don't mean the Garlic munching owners of the Utility company either.

It does from my flat too, as my earlier posts showed. Nice shots wjfox

Take the complaint to GMC or PCT or somewhere. This is unacceptable. Change Doctors to Nunhead Surgery (you are within their catchment area). 58 Nunhead Grove. I hope you are alright. I am sure all of us on here do too.