steveo

The area is choking in exhaust fumes from stationary cars. Loughborough Junction's pollution alone will swamp the Maldives

I heard Court Lane was going to be a short take off and landing airstrip

Hive seems OK. Turning the heating on with the phone rather than walking upstairs is pretty decadent

I'd be careful about booking it anyway, isn't it about to go belly up?

Interesting Loz, I've been scammed by the Italian (insurance) job. It's a very bad vibe on the first day of your holiday. And thanks for the tip Azalea

I'm having the twin towers put in Limehouse

Get them to put a Taj Mahal on as well

A while back there was a chap selling London panoramas in North X Rd. Market at the weekends. I haven't been for a while so I don't know if he is still there

have

Lights, lots of light

Hammond's sauce with a Harvester steak every time. For connoisseurs and schools

He sits very close to Diane Abbott

The statue of Nelson in Trafalgar Square... Oh, I can't be bothered

War torn

I'd like a dad

For me goats too But what about the milk?

Or a nice cup of Earl Grey at 8.00am and a Lavazza livener at 11.00

3:00 p.m. rise 3:05 Chivas Regal with the morning papers, Dunhills 3:45 cocaine 3:50 another glass of Chivas, Dunhill 4:05 first cup of coffee, Dunhill 4:15 cocaine 4:16 orange juice, Dunhill 4:30 cocaine 4:54 cocaine 5:05 cocaine 5:11 coffee, Dunhills 5:30 more ice in the Chivas 5:45 cocaine, etc., etc. 6:00 grass to take the edge off the day 7:05 Woody Creek Tavern (or the East Dulwich Tavern) for lunch-Heineken, two margaritas, coleslaw, a taco salad, a double order of fried onion rings, carrot cake, ice cream, a bean fritter, Dunhills, another Heineken, cocaine, and for the ride home, a snow cone (a glass of shredded ice over which is poured three or four jig?gers of Chivas.) 9:00 starts snorting cocaine seriously 10:00 drops acid 11:00 Chartreuse, cocaine, grass 11:30 cocaine, etc, etc. 12:00 midnight, Hunter S. Thompson (or Steveo) is ready to write 12:05-6:00 a.m. Chartreuse, cocaine, grass, Chivas, coffee, Heineken, clove cigarettes, grapefruit, Dunhills, orange juice, gin, continuous pornographic movies. 6:00 the hot tub-champagne, Dove Bars, fettuccine Alfredo 8:00 Halcyon 8:20 sleep

TT no 3: Don't go to the Ramblas unless you want crowd rage and tour-o-trash

Top tip no. 1: If you go to Sagrada Familia - and you definitely should - you can buy tickets from the ATMs, which cuts out of hours of queuing

Kicky Bucket!

I'd lilke rro meet new pople

When I was in the print as a tiny wee lad, we did the NME, Melody Maker and Disc among others. Seeing Ray Coleman, Chris Welch, CSM and even Nick Kent wandering around the Essex factory turned my head. Sadly Ray wouldn't give me a job. His loss

Nothing to see here

Sham 69