steveo

Daytime TV. It's doing you a favour

I think I met him in Margate. He's not that tall a rabbit, he had on a natty shirt and was complaining that the Deserter nicks all his jokes But I might have been hallucinating

Blow ins Blow ins Blow ins Blow ins Blow ins

All I get is 'Do you want to date mature Ukranian strippers?'

Yes, your take on the Clayton Arms was literally revolutionary and passed without comment Until now

My kids' favourite exhibit (and mine) was a stuffed Aye Aye, a sort of Lemur, bat, dog thing. It's not there now, I think it must have fallen apart.

> PANTHER 350cc OHV 1951 > > Beautiful English Panther, collaboration with > Ariel (cfr model Red Hunter). > Presented in original condition as an easy > restoration project That's taken me back, I used to tank about on the back of a Red Hunter

I couldn't possibly afford to run it. It's just a place to store tools and grow mould

Tart

A W126 500SEC. Oh, I've already got one

A potty with a saucepan lid?

Anywhere I can get the cider down me

Don't be discouraged Tarot, get up on that soap box and beat that hairy chest

It's a scientific fact that homosexuals are funnier than 'normal' people

They're going to frack Champion Hill anyway

Was there an issue of choco flakes down the waistcoat?

Are you allowed to irrationally hate people?

Strolling up Marylebone High Street in the summer sun, shades on, white shirt, looking cooler than a cool thing and SPLOSH, from a great height a half pint of pigeon shit went down through my hair, glasses, front of face, shirt and trousers. I had no handkerchief or money on me so I had to sort of wipe it away with my hand and walk back to work not looking so cool any more, listen to a lot of mocking laughter, then scrub up a bit and go to Take 6 to purchase a new wardrobe

Another highly irritating beeping sound

At least it was only a number one

The Age of Stupid

I saw some dodgy lads trying to lever up a drain cover and rang the cozzers. They arrived in seconds and stood right behind the unaware perps watching them doing it, then slapped on went the cuffs. It was comedy magic

I was packing heat all through my childhood until joining the scouts when I got a sheath knife and an axe. Never had any problems

Isn't it 'juvie' in the US?

Of course