waynetta
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Everything posted by waynetta
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Can't remember the artist or title of a song stuck in your head? Simply record and release the song and wait to be sued for breach of copyright. The information you need will be on the writ.
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'That's handy Harry...stick it in the oven.' Can't remember what this was advertsing but remember one bloke saying it to another in the back of a van. Any ideas?
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Find your way to the toilet in the dark by tying a length of string from the toilet bowl to the door handle. Simply straddle the string and slide the cleft of your buttocks along it until you feel the toilet seat touch your genitals. Simple.
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Headache.....Tense...Nervous...Headache.
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Take two bottles into the shower? Sorry HonaloochieB I have absolutely no idea what the 'Nice one Cyril' slogan was from.
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Polo mints make ideal 'life belts' for earwigs. Except they don't float. And they dissolve in water.
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If you foul the air in someone else's bathroom, disguise the smell by lighting a match and setting fire to the hand towel.
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How dare you suggest that these handy tips and advice we are coming up with are not the products of our own inspiration.:-S I am deeply offfended Ominpresent but I shall plough on regardless Don't change your trousers simply because the pockets are full. Add extra pockets by suspending old socks from the belt loops.
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It's frothy man What is?
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Kelllogs bran flakes.
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Splash it all over.
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A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly maps when visiting the Sahara desert.
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Mummy why are your hands so soft?
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Actually on further reflection the slogan in that ad is Tunes help you breath more easily
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On hot summer nights, keep cool in bed by using a hot water bottle filled with liquid nitrogen.
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I've often wondered whether Iggy would look better if he was a bit chubbier? He looks like death warmed up in those pictures.
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'First class ticket to Dottingham please.' Tunes ad starring the bloke out of the Fenn street gang if anyone is confused. Where is he now?
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Save electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.
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Live every day as if its your last by converting your bedroom into an intensive care ward, insering pipes into your nose and lying in bed all day, saying and doing nothing.
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Wheelchair basketball coaches. Miss out Lourdes from any forthcoming European tours in order to avoid losing your star players.
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You're spot on about that Daizie. Avoid bickering and petty arguments by simply punching anyone in the face whom you disagree with.
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Indecisive about committing suicide? Then hang yourself with a bungee rope.
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Hahaha...now that is funny :)) Daizie is it only me and you who actually find these tips funny?
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Suck the eyes from attacking Zombies using a Black and Decker dustbuster. The blinded ghouls will then wander aimlessly and can be dispatched at a more leisurely pace using the usual methods...
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Under allotments I think, wherever they are? Apparently they were all kept there in the event of a German Invasion.