waynetta
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Posts
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Everything posted by waynetta
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I've been called that a few times over the years save money on expensive batteries for doorbells.simply open your front door every two minutes to check if anyone is there
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2 pairs of knickers make a great meal for a very hungry weirdo,especially if you throw in a bra for desert
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Dead butterflies make excellent hang gliders for earwigs
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Car tyres wrapped in green tarpaulin makes an ideal packet of polo mints for a short sighted giant.
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I thought I'd start a thread on the above. Any question can be asked and hopefully some interesting answers will come up. First query do pro-lifers eat eggs?
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Drivers with bad backs: Make your own orthopaedic car seat cover by threading conkers onto a string vest
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Health is more important then money in terms of living a full life. You cannot possibly do it without the former, though it is possible without the latter.
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Orange minge. Kinda disproving my own factoid.
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Hold an impromptu reunion of all your relatives, most of whom you haven't seen for years by simply winning the lottery. Hey Presto! Just watch the freeloading fukkers turn up by the car load, all wanting a slice of the action.
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Prepare baby turtles for their hectic life at sea by placing them in a washing machine. Add salt instead of soap and you have the perfect 'ocean simulator'.
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'Possible legover situation' Who said romance was dead?
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One dog year equals seven human years.
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Al Capone's business card said that he was a used furniture dealer.
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I don't think any of those examples actually rhyme boys, do you?
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Does an animal therefore have conciousness, memory and self awareness?
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No words in the English language rhyme with orange, silver or purple.
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If being chased by a Bear run downhill. Bears can't run downhill.
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Every day make a list of everything you do, and hand it in at your local police station. That way you can be eliminated from their enquiries in the event of a crime.
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The phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
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Not a Top Tip Felt Tip (td)
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Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply give them real meat. As they're always going on about how TVP soya and nut cutlets are "indistinguishable from real meat nowadays" they won't notice the difference.
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Dispose of old flourescent light strips in a safe and environmentally friendly manner by inserting into a dead snake.
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Fellas. Whenever you visit a pub with a male friend, wear a passport sized photograph of your wife, cut into the shape of a heart, on your lapel in order to dispel any rumours that you might be homosexual.
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hehehe. Don't throw out old shoelaces. Soak them in petrol, wrap them in the lard you normally carry around in your pocket (see above) and put in the fridge overnight. Take them out the next morning and Hey Presto ! Edible candles.
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LOL :) Like it Daizie. Back on form. (tu)