waynetta

LOL...love that one :))

Ok it works like this. I start the ball rolling and people can chip in, when the sheer boredom and tediousness of their lives means that writing a part of a story on a community thread is the most exciting thing that they've got going on. Here goes: It was midnight on Lordship Lane. A vicious right hook had caught me just above the eye........

Manet http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1c/Manet_-_Gartenweg_in_Rueil.jpg/474px-Manet_-_Gartenweg_in_Rueil.jpg

Apologies if that's the case. I'm new round here. :)

Anthem for a doomed youth - Wilfred Owen What passing-bells for these who die like cattle Only the monstrous anger of the guns Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle Can patter out their hasty orisons No mockeries for them from prayers or bells Nor any voice of morning save the choirs The shrill demented wailing of the shells And bugles calling for them from sad shires What candles may be held to speed them all Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall Their flowers the tenderness of silent minds And each slow dusk a drawing down of blinds

Monet. Water Lillies. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5d/Monet_Water_Lilies_1916.jpg

Looks like I'll have to keep this going singlehandedly. At least til I go away tomorrow. :) BELL RINGERS: Don't waste time raising money to save your church bells. Get the same teeth-grating effect by simply dropping different lengths of scaffolding pipe off the roof of the church at 8 o'clock every sunday morning.

Thanks for all your helpful advice. I have booked my holiday now and I'm going this week. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. Really looking forward to it though. :)

Catch a Condor by simply building a wooden stockade 1 metre high and 50 metres in diametre, and placing a dead goat in the centre. The bird will land inside the stockade to feed on the goat but will then be unable to get out. This is because Condors require a run-up of at least 100 metres before they can gain the momentum necessary for take off. ps This is the most humane way to catch Condors.

Maltesers are absolutely delicious and they also make ideal packing material for fragile objects being sent through the post. And the recipient can of course eat them without putting on weight.

Two pieces of macaroni stuck together would make an ideal pair of binoculars for any little gingerbread men who express an interest in ornithology.

I care not what others think of what i do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do. That is character. Teddy Roosevelt

Cezanne http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/da/Paul_C%C3%A9zanne_090.jpg/745px-Paul_C%C3%A9zanne_090.jpg

I could be so good for you. http://www.trashfiction.co.uk/minder_inside.jpg

That's already been posted. Do keep up.

Losing an illusion makes you wiser then finding a truth.

Why pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes. Some Top Tip wisdom.

If you chase two rabbits you will not catch either one.

i shall remain tight lipped

A stumble may prevent a fall - English Proverb

The Irish artist, Jack B Yeats http://www.briansewell.com/images/jack-b-yeats-liffey-swim.jpg

Take a thermos flask to bed instead of a hot water bottle. The water stays hot much longer, and you can use it to make a cup of tea in the morning.

LOL...it may have counted for something if he'd got you up the spout. You'd be royalty now.

The beautiful work of Marc Chagall. His work is usually much more colourful and bright, but I love the use of blue in this one. http://theboldsoul.lisataylorhuff.com/photos/favorite_artwork/adleasa121.jpg

If that's true you've got no taste in men whatsoever.