new mother

It's an interesting legal point. The contract says you are still liable to pay, notwithstanding the fact that they are failing to provide the service. Curious whether they can contract out of their obligations like this. I guess it's bargaining power. If there were an oversupply of nurseries, parents would be better able to dictate terms. The fact that you could get your ch there is also an interesting one. If you could, why cldn't their staff? Perhaps they live further away. Perhaps that's something a nursery should take into account with its staff, as they have to maintain ratios at all times - reliability and ease of arriving. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect people to take a day's holiday if they can't get in, as per Marscapone's office. It reflects the fact that, unfortunately, we don't live in a country where everyone tries to get to work very hard. (By the way, if a nursery starts citing Christmas holidays as one example of when they close bur are still paid, tell them that this is completely different. (a) those holidays are known about in advance; it';s part of the deal that you don't get 2 weeks at Christmas or whatever. (b) the monthly rate is even and set to incorporate those hols etc and © it's a blanket closure cf the snow situation when some nurseries where some age groups managed to open but others didn't, thereby only penalising some parents. THere msut be a lawyer who can tell us whether a nursery or any company can contract out of its obligation to provide the very service you are paying for.

Sue, if it help, at least we know where Weegee is from...

Im afraid so. We had same issue, and my husband had to build a vertical post for the stairgate to attach to. We also had issues re height and width as the widest extending gates weren't wide enough. Anyway it ended up taking a day for a job most people do in an hour. Quite irritating but the price of beautiful staircases I reasoned....

We were forced to eat meat every day as it was "good" for us. With the rise of pasta, you don't see that so much but where do children get protein from nowadays. I've got no idea...

How exciting - a new amazing young life beginning. Many congratulations and hoping you can get your feet up at some point?

Ah yes, she probably managed a bit of paperclip eating from time to time as well! But seriously, they should give a refund. It's their problem if they don't have staff.

Shaggy, I agree. It is their inability to provide the service that, contractually, they are bound to do. It raises an interesting question though - what on earth do people do when their nusery is closed?

We always always gave presents to the teachers and on the last day of term, there would be a long line of girls queueing up, generally with perfume/perfume style things. I now realise that the teachers would then recycle them as presents for the rest of the year. Nowadays I would tend to give a book actually, partly as it seems appropriate for a teacher!

Dear All, To clarify, I was only talking about whingeing about minutiae and not, certainly not, the serious matters others have mentioned above.

Mellors, Balance is needed. Yes, we all want more fun and "a smile" but we're adults, frankly. Deal with it. I started off agreeing with the thread but the direction it has taken is for me, sad and out of proportion. Does no-one else think that this constant modern need to "emote" is just as bad, unhealthy and extreme as the old fashioned stiff upper lip? How about getting on with it and making the best of it, old fashioned ideas I know, but maybe worth contemplating? Maybe make a moment to ponder what I'm saying ladies and gentlemen and think about people with real problems? Please don't dismiss it out of hand? edited typo

Molly, You are sort of making my point. In the great scheme, we are very lucky. I for one need to remind myself more frequently - I worry dreadfully about e.g. schools and, in the great scheme, that's unimportant too. I'm lucky to have children to worry about educating. I think perspective is needed. Saffron, on reflection, I'm feeling quite old and gray too!

Ladies (and any gentlemen posting) THis thread started out sensible enough but... you know what? It makes me feel a bit sick to read it now. Especially at Christmas, I am starting to think with huge sadness of the mothers - we are all mothers - who only have coffins of their 20 year old "children" or the young amputees our country's wars have generated and I think - yes, THEY have stress, pain and worries. I feel massive pain for the breast cancer mothers writing keepsake books for their young children. To read post after post of our worries and loneliness, as I say, makes me feel a bit like our priorities have gone awry. I am equally at fault as I spend time on this forum and it's made me realise that this time could have been much better spent. Instead of whinging, let's focus on how incredibly lucky we are - we have happy healthy families in the main, I hope and pray and, especially at Christmas, we should be counting our blessings instead of indulging in such selfpity. No doubt, I'll be criticised for the post but, if you read back through the thread of we affluent, young, healthy people, I think you might be sickened too.

Saila, I agree. Asset management is indeed a great job for anyone. It is very very well paid - often high hundreds of thousands - and the hours are relatively short. cf law firm partner or corporate financiers who all spend long hours and weekends at work. My point is that no-one with vast amounts of help should be particularly commended. Those with less help should be. The pain associated with the loss of a child is, of course, beyond disucussion. Womanofdulwich, I read your post with incredulity before I realised you were joking! Your point is that the stress associated with having a low paid job, not knowing how to pay the electricity bill, trogging home to your ch, maybe no partner in sight, worrying about the school your ch will attend as you cannot afford to move to a nice area, worrying about the gangs they will be exposed to etc... is vastly more than the "luxury" of stress associated with thinking "did I do the best thing at work today?".

Fascinating how much attention is given to the rights of the thief as opposed to those of the shopkeeper and his customers, who presumably pay more to compensate for insurance claims or stock losses. I haven't read the whole thread. Did anyone get into "it isn't their fault, they've had a difficult upbringing" excuse? This one really makes me mad - it is a gross insult to the people who HAVE had a difficult upbringing but have tried their damnedest to get out of it and who we should be supporting at every level. I digress.

Not a comment on JJMB founder BUT I do observe that the more successful the individual, the more help he/ she can have. the oft cited Nicole Horlock has many children, a proper job - not a long hours one like a law firm partner though as she is an asset manager - and a huge amount of help. She basically does one job alone. Asset management. Mnay mnay others do one job alone. The mother on the checkout in a supermarket is probably without help, works long hours for low pay and has emphatically more stress. Ask one of those to advise!

Am I the only one who is totally rivetted by the story of Oscar, the violin teacher? I'm no relation whatsoever and just ancestor-jacking Molly's interesting tree! When we looked up the census to see who had lived in our house at the end of the 19th century, we found a father with four children, two servants and two parents in law. We assumed from that that the poor mother/wife had perhaps died in childbirth and her parents were helping. The father was clearly on good terms with his parents in law. :-((( Very sad. I know someone who looked up her late mother's adoption - her mother never having come to terms with it - and once records were released etc, my friend found information that led her to realise that her mother was really my friend's aunt's daughter. ie her grandmother had covered up the aunt's teenage pregnancy by claiming the new baby was adopted. It meant that my friend's mother never knew that her much older sister was actually her mother, nor that her "adoptive mother" was her natural grandmother. Whew. History eh???

THanks so much, everyone. I have just read their OFSTED. it's unusual to get an "outstanding", I suppose, by definition. OTOH, the only place I've liked so far actually failed or was put into sp measures or eaten by the OFSTED dragon monster or something so maybe my judgement isn't very good.

many thanks Lochie any other thoughts? I'm on the case tomorrow am... (again)

Getting depressed by what I see nurserywise and cannot afford the 32/35,000 out of my post tax income that the nannies we've interviewed are looking for. In nursery terms though, we think we are prepared to pay at more or less the top end. This is what we want - is it too much to ask?! 1. good openair spaces for breaktimes and lunchtimes. 2. all day possibility ie 8am drop off and 6pm pick up and not sessions of a couple of hours here and there. 3. low turnover of full time staff who are mature and well spoken 4. minimum of good from OFSTED 5. flexible re location We cannot consider: 1. short sessions ie 930 to 1230 sort of thing. 2. high turnover of staff or many part timers for the number of children at the nursery 3. very young staff who don't speak English properly. These requirements seem to me to be basic but are not met by the vast majority of nurseries we look at. My husband has been shocked by some of the carers and his phrase was that they "would be hard put to look after a goldfish properly", so it's not just an over protective mother speaking. Any ideas? Feel free to pm me if you prefer. We are a bit desperate to be honest and would appreciate any ideas practically from Dulwich to BLackheath and in between!

I'm very lucky with my parents who would get up night after night for my children. I thought this was totally normal when my siblings had children and assumed this would happen automatically - it's their gchildren after all - till I met my parents-in-law and realised they do/did nothing unless "it suited them" for their gchildren. I'm afraid the result is that my ch are much closer to my parents than their other grandparents, becuase they know they would go to the ends of the earth for them. Grandparents who look after ch "when they have no ther plans" have weird priorities in my view and are failing in a fundamental instinctive aspect of life. They lose out in the long run though so poor them.

That's interesting UN. What was it about the school that appealed, do you think? Or maybe it was a general impression of a happy together environment that made you think "yes, this works"?

K, League tables are published on all schools nowadays - newspapers and internet- and you will be able to compare primaries with prep schools or other local primaries.

THe only thing I've observed is that babies like routine. I no longer try to get them to do my thing. I just had to accept that they run the show. My baby's vague routine is basically: 1. wake 630am - feed done by my husband 2. 9am breakfast porridge and banana, then play, classes etc 3. 1045ish - starts to sleep 4. 12 ish or 1215 or 1230 ish onwards - "lunch" 5. depending on (4) but once fed, class, park, walk etc - to around 3pm 6. 3pm ish - sleep starts 7. depending on (6) but around 430pm/5pm - start food "dinner" 8. 6pm bath and play 9. 7pm bed any good?

A big moment for us is WHEN WE SEE A CAT or A DOGGIE... Does that answer the qeustion?!

They are running a fun event but it's sold out. Ch very disappointed. (I am too!) I was wondering if anyone had tickets for it they cannot use and want to sell to me? Would lvoe if so. THanks