
cuppa tea
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Everything posted by cuppa tea
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Do you really want an obedient child?
cuppa tea replied to bluesuperted's topic in The Family Room Discussion
I don't think the article was saying that kids be allowed to carry on and do whatever they want with no limitations whatsoever....that's neglect. Noone has, or should have, that level of freedom. I think it was questioning the ever popular 'baby-training, toddler taming' approach that is becoming pretty popular. If a child is always compliant to the whims of the adults around them, this is not necessarily healthy. There is a way of showing kids how to be kind and compassionate to others and still finding ways to have their own needs met, without using fear of punishment to do it. I thought it was a refreshing article. -
I'd say 2yrs 9 mnths is pretty early for a boy to potty train. I agree with Molly and would put nappies back on and leave it for a while. It doesn't sound like he's being lazy, but upset that he's not managing to succeed and make you happy. His confidence could be dashed by starting too soon and it is likely to drag on for longer. I would take the pressure off for a bit and start again later on. My son was 3.5 years and it still took months to potty train, rather than weeks (as everyone else claims to manage!). That said, most poos hit the porcelain...or rather plastic thankfully!
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Sorry i didn't read the original post properly. Yes more structured classes are tricky at age 2 aren't they? I actually never did any because it would have been a total waste of money and my son would never have wanted to do them. The less formal stuff is much, much easier. At 2 my little one is not mature enough, and my eldest wouldn't have been able to follow instruction. I figure they have the rest of their lives to work out how to do that. For other people, at nursery, at school, children are always much better behaved than for their parents. Still working out why this is!
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Sounds very familiar. Perhaps as she is spending a fair bit of time in the company of other children at nursery she is wanting you to herself. Being at nursery/school is a child's version of 'going to work' and most people wouldn't want to go to work on weekend days as well. Maybe she needs a break from being around other chilren? I often think that toddler groups are more for the parents than the children anyway. My eldest wasn't interested in other kids until he was about 3ish, before that it was more about the toys than the kids/people.
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Yak Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I am cringing as I type, and I don't know really > why I'm sharing this on a public forum, but what > the heck. My dad grows one of his thumbnails extra > long in December for easy peeling of Christmas > oranges and satsumas. > > Nutter. I know someone else's dad who does this with one of his fingernails, but for the very specific reason of being able to pick his nose! Disgusting yes?!!
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My son had his first MMR at about 15 months and then a booster at just over 2 years. He's 4.5 now and for one reason or another we haven't yet done the pre-school boosters. Does anyone know if he has to have another MMR booster, or is 2 considered enough? 3 shots of it sounds a bit excessive in my (very non-medical) opinion..
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Anyone else getting very little sleep at the moment?!
cuppa tea replied to crystal7's topic in The Family Room Discussion
crystal7 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------ > > Think latch is fine but I do have a very fast > (overactive??) let down and he often gulps and > splutters at the beginning of a feed. Seem to remember my midwife suggesting my lying on my back and feeding the baby while on top of my tummy ...I think the logic being that it slowed the milk flow due to gravity. My first baby was very windy and it was a real pain (literally for him) for several weeks. I wasn't very good at remembering to wind him though and he also seemed to hang onto the wind when i did. Luckily by 12 weeks it all resolved itself. Fingers crossed you can get to the bottom of it. Being tired and trying to give up caffeine is a scary road! > -
to whoever stole my childrens scooters
cuppa tea replied to bawdy-nan's topic in General ED Issues / Gossip
6 year olds aren't old enough to always remember to bring their stuff back inside. Life is very in the moment at that age. It's not a 'stupid' thing to do - adults lose things all the time. It happens to us all. It's not something that they need to be 'taught a lesson about'. Us parents are responsible for our children and their things until they are old enough to be able to do so themselves. I would buy them another one and let them experience generosity and truly being allowed to make mistakes...they will have learnt from the experience regardless. -
Interesting they say that time-outs don't work for under 5s. And weird seeming as everyone uses them. They have never worked in our house and we dropped them along time ago...so it's nice to hear that I am not completely on the wrong track!
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Phil&Teds Cocoon - do you need a mattress for it?
cuppa tea replied to Gimme's topic in The Family Room Discussion
No, you don't. The inside of the cocoon is padded and very comfortable...as far as a sleeping baby is proof of that! -
3 year old awake for hours at night
cuppa tea replied to Gussy's topic in The Family Room Discussion
I was thinking of her brother affecting her sleep in an emotional way. It's a big change for a little one to suddenly have a sibling taking all the attention. My son started waking in the night when we had a new baby. I don't exactly know why, but he did really struggle with jealousy. Hope you can get to the bottom of it. It's worth investigating so you can all get some sleep. -
3 year old awake for hours at night
cuppa tea replied to Gussy's topic in The Family Room Discussion
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Overtired? What does it mean please explain!!
cuppa tea replied to reren's topic in The Family Room Discussion
I am sure it's different for every kid, but in our case over tired happens when we miss the 'sleep window' and then the boy gets another boost of adrenaline to keep him awake. It's then nearly impossible to get him to sleep. When he was 1 he dropped his afternoon nap and we moved the morning nap to around 11am. He used to sleep for a couple of hours. You could try this? Of course it could be something else entirely, like teeth. This is the trouble when they can't tell you what they want! Occasionally, during the day, my son would sleep for say 20 mins and then wake up with enough energy to carry on and basically miss a sleep. Not a good situation. Not sure this is called 'over-tiredness' though. -
3 year old awake for hours at night
cuppa tea replied to Gussy's topic in The Family Room Discussion
Have you tried putting her mattress/bed next to yours, or in the same room? Just saying this as she starts crying 10 mins after you leave the room. My son started waking at this age. I think his imagination really kicked in and he became more easily frightened (of the dark, monsters, etc). He came back into our bed and it did seem to solve the problem in our situation....he's still sleeping there at 4.5!! Not for everyone and it doesn't sound like that would work in your case, but maybe her being in the same room could help her resettle? I feel for you. Being awake for hours in the night is just horrendous. I think some children do still wake several times in a night at 3, but the length of time she is awake is not really sustainable for you, so I would definitely not accept that it is just one of those things. How old is your youngest? Could having a new sibling be affecting her sleep in some way? -
what age do most children start reading?
cuppa tea replied to stardust's topic in The Family Room Discussion
It really depends how you define reading. I think writing and recognising letters is not the same as reading. Children can do this from very young, but to pick up a book they haven't read before and decode the words is an entirely different skill. Schools choose books with specific words that children know and will have repeated in class and recognise. To actually work out a new word by themselves and understanding the 'code' is what reading really is. I think the age at which children do this varies massively. We are surrounded by text and children are exposed to it all the time. If you read to your children and read yourself then they will be motivated to learn it. Personally I think reading is pushed too early in school, which is why it can feel to children like a difficult concept, when actually they learned how to speak and the concept of language, which is far more challenging, just by being surrounded by speaking adults. -
disposable bottles for newborns
cuppa tea replied to KatsuQueen's topic in The Family Room Discussion
Belle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > when i was there at the end of Sept a mw was > refusing formula to the lady opposite me (who had > chosen to ff, but whose partner was unable to make > it into the hospital that day with > bottles/formula) - I felt SO sorry for her, her > baby was only 11 hrs old and screaming its head > off. She said they couldn't give it out without a > medical reason. So I think you're def right to be > prepared - we didn't have any with us, and > fortunately didn't need it in the end but had a > stash of the SMA ready made bottles at home and my > hubbie was prepared to dash back for them if need > be. > > I think the tommee tippee ones are fast flow from > memory... Crikey, that's not pro-breastfeeding, that's cruelty!!! -
I think it's quite common for kids to go back and forth with hits in the toilet, so to speak. I know mine did. There are so many reasons for regression with it. I would definitely think in terms of months rather than weeks for sorting toilet issues out. The way we tackled it with my son, (slightly different to your situation, and possibly contrary to popular advice, but thought I would share anyway), was to take ALL pressure off him. He was about 3.5 when we started and I can't even remember really talking much to him about it, just that we had nice pants for him to wear instead of nappies. We left potties in various places around the house and said no more about it. We didn't ask him to sit on them, or praise him when did, if he had an accident I absolutely did my best not to react at all (sometimes very challenging!) and just changed him into clean clothes. It wasn't the quickest way of doing it, but it was relatively stress free. Honestly, I think kids will potty train when they are ready and probably without much, if any, intervention from adults. They want to emulate big people after all. I remember my son at 18 months being totally obsessed with watching me and my husband go to the toilet!! I would ride out the messes, don't worry, take the pressure off and trust.
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It might help to not think so much in terms of 3 meals a day, but perhaps give smaller meals and lots of snacks/finger foods in between. 8 month olds still have small stomachs and I think probably the more regimented eating that us adults tend to do is probably strange to them. Over the course of a day with lots of snacks, plus small meals, she's probably getting more than you think...even when most of it seems to be on the floor. The only way they can become more dexterous is by age development and practice. My second baby refused point blank to ever eat anything off a spoon, so I was somewhat pushed into giving him chunks of food from the off. Some days he ate very little and sometimes loads. His ability to get the spoon in his mouth improved VERY quickly. There's nothing like the motivation of being hungry eh? Really I would try very hard to relax and go with the flow. I honestly think babies know what they are doing even when they are 8 months old and there is no way they want to starve themselves! I don't mean at all to sound brutal here, but if she was really that hungry she would chomp off the spoon you were feeding her with. I don't think there is any harm in upping the milk if you think she needs it is there? I wouldn't worry about the 'rules' of this and just do what you think is best. I know where you are coming from though...I had all these worries with my first.
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My conclusion is that babies/children do not like sleeping alone. Mine have never been able to do it for long. My 4.5 year old has been back in our bed for some time now. I can vaguely remember at around 2.5 when he slept in his own bed and it was all really easy, but it was probably for no more than 9 months. I think surrendering to it is absolutely fine if you are all getting sleep. I am sure it must be evolutionary. There's no way a cavewoman would have put her child to sleep in a separate cave and left them to cry...they wouldn't have been there when she woke up. It's inconvenient, but children still have those primitive brains.
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Do you think he is ready for food? Is he showing signs he is interested? I think fairly often that babies are not interested in food at the designated 6 months weaning time, but much later. I am sure I read somewhere that babies who are more allergy prone are not interested in food until their bodies are ready to deal with it. (Sorry, I'm not sure where I read that!). You could back off with the food, wait a bit and see what happens? To give you time to see if he's more settled just on milk. Personally I would be more inclined to go with the doctor's advice, rather than the dermatologist. Also, some foods are more allergenic than others, so check on a list.
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Allergies - why so many these days?
cuppa tea replied to new mother's topic in The Family Room Discussion
"placebo by proxy" - what does this mean? And how would that work with kids? I have a couple of friends who swear by homeopathy for their children. I have used it on myself for morning sickness, but it didn't help. And arnica post birth...I wouldn't know if this worked or not as there is no way of measuring it. Oh and 'Teetha' on the kids, though again don't really know if it worked or not. It didn't seem like a miracle cure. -
Advice please - someone damaged my buggy
cuppa tea replied to apenn's topic in The Family Room Discussion
You can buy spare parts for Micralites, depending on which bit is broken, so it may be worth contacting them...could save you a few quid. I know they can send out spare axels. I wouldn't pursue it with the woman either. It was clearly a genuine accident and not malicious. It's not worth the bad feeling in my opinion. -
At 8 months my 1st boy wasn't much interested in toys. He liked playing with kitchen utensils, water, remote control, mobile phones, bits of wool, stuff from a treasure basket, etc. Though he did play loads with a small electric keyboard....awful noisy racket. Now at 4 we have utterly lost the battle with plastic. We do still manage to at least get some stuff second hand. That said the toys in plastic for older kids are great - Lego of course. For babies they are pretty crap.
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Another boring BF question (sorry)
cuppa tea replied to uptime's topic in The Family Room Discussion
I agree that expressing is not a good way to find out how much milk you are producing. A baby is much more efficient at getting every last bit out. Read up about 'breastfeeding strikes', as it could be that. Also your milk will increase again once your daughter starts to feed more. I think regular feeds is what increases it. Some babies do wean from 9 months, but it's pretty rare. Approaching 1 yr the world become very interesting and they just don't have as much time for it. They have a busy schedule of discovery to get on with. My son was like this and wasn't so bothered at a year. Just a couple of sips here and there and then fed a fair bit through the night. Around 18 months he wanted to feed ALL the time. Development counts for a great deal I think. I wouldn't worry and just keep offering in the quieter moments when she is less distracted. -
Question for teachers reading the forum....
cuppa tea replied to new mother's topic in The Family Room Discussion
Curmudgeon Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > suppose it depends what you call 'early' > > I think judging children on an ability to read > early is pointless as reading is a trick, rather > like jumping, you get it when you get it > > I think possibly year 3 or 4 primary is a better > indicator of 'early development' > > However a child with an enquiring mind or an > ability to just work will probably remain so > > and of course the peer group a teen falls into is > important too Every child has an enquiring mind before they start school. A non-curious pre-schooler doesn't exist. That's how they learned to walk and talk. Unfortunately, school does a brilliant job of knocking the curiosity out of children through forcing them to learn in a very boring and repetitive way. The ability to work is a different thing. Some children are fine at working towards the teachers goals rather than their own and are happy enough with a sticker/grade or whatever other carrot they use. Yes, I think reading could be a good trick...it's a tool, not knowledge or learning itself. It's a way to find out information. Just one way and not the only way either. Hmmm, feeling rather cynical this morning!
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