Dulwich Born And Bred

Horsebox, I think you will find that most things on this forum has nothing to do with most of us....does not stop any of us posting and giving our opinion does it? As I work with children I am quite concerned about anything that puts a child in harm's way. I know you cannot protect them from everything and they all have to make their way in the big wide world sooner or later, but I have issues with a five year old being supervised by an 8 years old. They invited us to comment on their post and we did, that shall be the last I shall say on the matter.

I find it quite clinical also, are your children social experiments to see if by letting them cycle a mile to school without an adult will result them in being well rounded adults because they took risks as a child and were given that kind of freedom at such a young age? This is not a five minutes walk to school, this is a one mile cycle where there are busy roads. I fail to see your logic and reasoning behind your decision, I don't need stats, researchers and so on, to tell me that an eight year old supervising a five year old to school is right/safe when common sense says otherwise. There are many children who goes to school with an adult supervising, and I don't believe for one minute that they will grow up to be adults that have no idea how to cross the road, deak with certain situations, and will fear the world outside their door.

The NHS website says one or two units a week which is what I was told: http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/958.aspx?CategoryID=54&SubCategoryID=135 http://www.drinkaware.co.uk/features/family/alcohol-and-breastfeeding http://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/pdfs/Alcohol_and_Breastfeeding_March_2009.pdf I cannot find anything that says anything over 2units is safe.

On a serious note you can find out here http://www.eastdulwichcommunitycentre.org.uk/index_files/Page607.htm

I thought they were called ConDem?!

TWO bottles?!::o I got tipsy on just one bottle of Bulmer Pear Cider ( classy I am!). I was told two units and no more than that and only now and again.

Dulwich is fabulous if you are one of the lucky ones to have a huge garden and can send your children to private secondary school. Dulwich is wonderfully central, there is so much for little ones to do in the way of classes/groups, plus this forum is such a good way of meeting other mums and babies. However despite the fact that I am fifth generation of being a Dulwich resident and my son is sixth generation, I do think it has changed a lot and I am wanting to give my son a more outdoors life. We will be relocating to Sussex, and I have researched the area and was so surpised to find so many baby groups/classes/activities, and a lot of them are within 20/30 minutes walking distance. I was impressed also by the activities such as the sailing club, abseiling and so on, all the kind of things I can see my son being part of as he becomes older. Sussex is surrounded by beautiful little villages, towns, beaches, the Downs, and if he wants Nightlife, he has Brighton and other places. I want him breathing better air than this London air and I want it to be normal for him to go to the beach, play in the woods and so on. I will always love Dulwich since I have known nothing but Dulwich but as I have my son now, I do feel it would be in his benefit to be out in the country.

Keef, That made me smile...your daughter is fiery! I like that!:)) I admit I did laugh at the bit about you ending up in A and E, I can picture you telling the medical professionals that it was as a result of being attacked by your little daughter! Babies are great, especially when they are your own, regardless of their gender.

Whether the five year old is an excellent cyclist, is very intelligent, is very mature, has bags of common sense and so on does not matter, however you dress it up, the kid is FIVE!!! Sometimes I wonder if I am really sharing the same space as people who cannot grasp that five is young, five short years on this earth, you start school at the age of five. Five is simply not old enough!

What about Saturday too?

Not much has changed Narnia, still the same, just an older and wiser version with my own little mini me to content with. Moos, I am hoping the loving will change from hair pulling to kisses and cuddles as he gets older. Supergolden88, sorry for hogging your thread! But as Saffron said, you will love your children because you are worrying already...x

I do think adults should be able to have more control over children for sure, such as teachers being able to discipline a child if they are naughty, as there is a huge lack of respect for them and for adults in general. I have never thought of the 'P' word, I don't view men ( or even women) as being potential Paedophiles unless I had reasons to, and I am of the school of though that if something is wrong, I will say so, as just because you helped a child, why on earth would you be classed as a paedophiles, especially if there is no evidence? Same as that builder who did not take the child to a police station because he was worried about what people think, surely he could have just stood with the child until a female came alone or called the police on his mobile? How many men honestly get convicted for being a paeophile when they are innocent and was just helping out? Loz Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Personally, I think the lack of respect for adults > by children is a by-product of the current > hysteria about paedophiles. What we have done is > prevented adults from pulling up badly behaved > children on the basis that all they have to do is > make a few crafted accusations and they will be, > at least initially, believed. Kids know how > powerful the p-word can be. Ask any teacher. > > Honestly, if I saw an incident involving children > I would almost certainly walk past. It's not > worth the risk these days. And I hate that I > would do that.

I don't know that is why I am asking, and naturally as they are hoodies, I am questioning the whole gang culture thing, you see hip hop music making it seemed cool to have a life of crime, video games where the violence is shocking, violence movies, there is so much details in them and I am sure the more people are exposed to them, the less shocked they are and the harder they become. What is YOUR reasoning to the whole gang/hoodie culture? Kids are not born bad, so something has gone wrong along the way, and I am sure all of the above is a factor to it. Even supernanny did a test on TV about children being exposed to computer games actually being less polite and harder to shock than the children who did not go on computer games. SeanMacGabhann Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Computer games? Music? Oh ffs. Let's blame books. > And then cinema. That's what previous generations > did. > > Dreadful thing to happen but rushing to find an > easy answer is worse

I think it is really sad that some children are becoming so disrespectful to adults, the law and in general. Where is the manners? respect? Is it computer games? the music? I don't honestly believe that broken family are producing kids who like violence.

I miss the news, will it be repeated? What did they say? Don't get me started on Boris as he lives in a bubble.

My boy just turned 10 months today so I am hoping he will become more loving when he is older. At the moment his way of showing affection is usually hair pulling, or a pat on the head ( quite patronising already at such a young age!:))) I know he loves me because he says " Mum Mum" in that rather deep voice of his, with the biggest cheeky smile and then will try to pull my glasses off. Does anyone find that boys are more needy also? I find girls quite independent, but I find boys needier, hence us mummies feel wanted and special since our boys cannot manage without us ( or we like to think so!). I would certainly settle for the kisses on the cheek Narnia, and the Cuddles Moos, does it count if I just cuddle and kiss him against his will with him usually resisting but smiling at the same time? I just find most boys are usually loud, with a penchant for playing with the TV, door, remote control, mobile phones and all the other things they are not supposed to play with. They don't sit still for five minutes either...unless it is just the boys I have encountered? I am also guessing he won't really want to talk shoes, and diets when he is older but at least he can carry my shopping, fix all the odd jobs around the house, and always come home to mummy and her cooking. ( and it is a touch satisfying knowing `that future girlfriends will have to match up to us very lovely mummies) Boys and girls each bring different things into your life...and though I still would love a girl , I would not swap my boy for all the cadbury chocolate and mojitios in the world! Mark my words Supergolden88, you will be on here after you have had your son gushing about your boy!

My mother said the Ducks were quacking like mad to deter the Heron but it did not work. She said it was awful because the Heron kept ducking ( pardon the pun!) the duckling under water and shaking it, and then it just swallowed it whole. She said it was rather upsetting because the Duck was really putting up a fight but lost the battle to save her duckling. I am glad I didn't have to witness this! SteveT Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Last time I was round the lake and the heron moved > a step towards the ducklings, mum let out a quack > and they all instantly went under water until the > heron had gone.

That is shocking. We really need to get some answers as to why the children of today are behaving in appalling ways.

Ditto Dulwichmum and Sue, I would never ever ever leave my child alone at home, never mind abroad! That in my eye is neglect as they were all extremely young and it was foolish to leave them alone. If they wanted nights out without the childen then they should have left them with family members at home or hired a babysitter ( not a baby listener), but to leave two babies and a young girl alone in a room when they were not even on the premises was wrong on all levels.

I have always wanted a baby girl, I even felt I was going to have a baby girl when I was pregnant, I had all the names picked out already for a girl. When I went for my scan and the sonographer told me it was a boy, I did say " Are you sure? not a boy!!" and I was disappointed, happy that he was healthy but disappointed that all my dreams of pink and a little girl to go shopping with disappeared, but I chose a name for my boy, bought some boys clothes ( whilst looking at all the pink stuff with a slight envy) but I knew I would love my boy before he was born and I absolutely utterly adore him now he is here. He IS a typical boy, rough, loud, not into kisses and cuddles, very active , always pulling my hair and being cheeky but I love him beyond words can say, and I like that I am his first love and we shall have a special mother and son bond. I am sure he will look after his old ma in his adult age. I still want a girl though!:)) At least you have one of each, and you will love them both equally on their own merits. You will realise in time that he is here now, so you will focus on the pros, and when he is here, you will realise how much you love him ( even when he is wrecking all your electrical things!).

I don't think Stats is a good way of protecting yourself. Stats are just numbers, it does not exempt anyone from having the same thing happening to them. And I still maintain that if the parents really believe in entrusting their kids ability to go to school unsupervised, why do they not let them return home unsupervised?

I think that is absolutely rubbish as my mum took myself and my other siblings to school and back, and we can all cross the road perfectly safely! We have never been in an accident. We were always taught when we went to school with mum to stop Stop, Look and Listen. Mum would always ask us when was it safe to cross the road and if it was correct she would say so and if it was not correct she would tell us why and pull us back. I do the same when I am out with my charges, nieces, nephew etc, I always always when we come to a road explain why we have stopped, about using a safe crossing etc whilst asking them questions and they are really good and know to automatically stop etc so I know in time they will be absolutely fine at crossing the roads by themselves. For goodness sake, Kids are not kids for very long and it is a bit much asking a 5 and 8 years old to be extra careful travelling by themselves.

Even if it was the 1950's, even if we lived in a nice little village, even if crime rates were extremely low, I would NOT let a 5 and 8 years old go to school alone. The emphasis is on their mental capacity. They cannot predict dangerous situations, they would not be able to react fast enough, any problems that could occur, an accident/strangers approaching them, high wind, icy pavements, a puncture on their wheel, they would not be mentally old enough to deal with it. Being self confident and well rounded does not mean going to school alone, there are lots of ways of being confident and well rounded without putting them in a situation like that. My mum grew up on a farm and used to cycle and walk miles everywhere, she got into some pickles when she was younger ( falling over, being bitten by a dog etc) and though she has very happy memories of all the freedom she had, she is the first person to say she would never do that to her own children/grandkids. This is not playing out in the front/back, where all the neighbours can watch the kids, this is travelling a mile to school. Dulwich is not crime free.

Also the fact that they let the children go to school unsupervised in the morning but a parent/nanny supervised them after school suggests to me that they are too busy in the mornings to supervise their kids so it is more to do with not enough time for the parents in the mornings to take them to school and less about self confidence otherwise the kids would be 'confident' enough to cycle home alone also since they cycle to school alone.

I would never ever let a five and eight years old make their own way to school. I do not think a 5 and 8 years old have the mental capacity to deal with potential dangerous situations. You get some very grown up children with common sense but most children of that age are still very young and will not really react quickly in some situations. It is all very well people saying 'When I was younger..' lots of things happened in our lives when we were younger, even today etc but it does not make it right or safe. They are too young. I am honestly quite astounded to see young children travelling by themselves on buses/bikes or walking. As an adult I have encountered dangerous situations just by walking around in Dulwich, my mother by cycling, and I would not want a child having to deal with that. I think the school was heavy handed but I don't think they should be travelling at that age alone to school.