Dulwich Born And Bred

I am sorry, does Nigeria have a good track record for human rights? Who said that Africans are all abusers? I did not, I said that in Africa they might not have a law for smacking children ( and they don't) but in the UK we DO have a law for smacking children. Take that how you will.

Ligaturiosity, be glad you are you as I am glad I am I, I think five years old riding on bikes to school without adult supervision is wrong, I think smoking whilst pregnant is wrong, don't have kids if you don't want to give them the best start in life and don't have kids if you cannot be bothered look after them. I would rather be in the minority with the way I think then in the majority with people thinking it is acceptable to do the above. On an after note, what the hell has happened to Sean?! Is this the same guy who could not say say Hello to me on the bus, I cannot believe the change in his posts!?:-S

He was an African man, so I was telling him that in his country it might be acceptable to beat children since their human rights is appalling, but in the UK it is against the law. chantelle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Heidi - why on earth did you assume the > child-beater's defense might be that it was > acceptable in his country? what a strange thing to > assume, and to say.

And Lawrence, yes, I usually go to supermarkets every day hiding in in the biscuits aisle so that when an overweight person picks up a packet of biscuits I jump out with a loudspeaker and shout " A second on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!" it is quite effective. Pah! You have so got me wrong.:))

True Keef but just because we know it is all over the news about smoking being bad does not mean other people actually get how bad it is. Not everyone reads the newspapers, watch the news, not everyone gets how serious it can actually be and not everyone is educated. It just makes me sad that the call for a fag is more important that a child's wellbeing. I have never been in a situation where I have come across someone smoking whilst pregnant. I have seen plenty of parents smoking over their kids/prams and I usually give them a look but then to do it in public, I feel they obviously don't care. Lawrence, I was miffed at her but not offended, and as I had nothing to feel guilty about, my conscience was clear and I told her so. I suppose she has to say something so that her conscience was clear, maybe she thought I was a young( I look younger than what I am) silly uneducated mum who didn't know that taking a new baby out with no hat on in the freezing cold could make him ill, you would be surprised at how clueless some people are despite all the information we have at our hands.

I don't think people step in enough and it is disappointing. I don't know if I posted it on this forum at the time but about a year or two ago I was in Kings College Pharmacy waiting for my presciption, and there was a little boy in there with his father, the little boy had wet himself, his father was so mad, he was calling him names and kicking the boy whilst the little boy was on the floor crying, now, the pharmacy was PACKED and NO ONE said a thing, they all pretended not to look, I was shaking from anger and stunned, I told him to stop kicking the boy and that in his country that might be acceptable but in this country it is not ( which was ironic as I was stating it is against the law to beat kids here but yet everyone in the waiting room was acting as if it was not against the law to beat your kids by not saying anything and speaking up against the little boy being kicked on the floor) he started on me back, calling me names and everything, told me it is nothing to do with me and to mind my own business, I was scared since he is a big man and I am a female but I could not let him do that. I called the security guards, who called the police, I gave my statement, I mean probably nothing happened to him, and he probably would never change and who knows, maybe the boy got it worse at home since the father was angry that he has embarrassed him, but I could not say anything and maybe just maybe my shock and vocal disagreement at his actions will make him think twice about doing something like that again. Years ago people would be in other people's business, if someone did something wrong, the public would say so, kids got told off by people other than their parents. In this day and age, we just turn a blind eye to everything, so people get away with everything.

Sorry Giggirl, just seen your message, I was compressing your message which you stated that your mum smoked and you are still here, though you said it does not make it right, you are still saying that your mum smoked and you are here, so what does that mean? it is ok? There are people that take drugs and their babies thankfully are fine, but it does not mean that in future arguments it has a valid point to say " My mum was on drugs, though it is not right, I am still here" it sounds like it is being jusified and that because they/you have survived it is ok? Sorry if I offended you or if I have misunderstood you but that is just how it came across to me. When I read any kind of message that says things like my mum smoked/drank/took drugs/beat me/ and I am still here, it comes across to me as if the poster is trying to say they are alive so it is ok because they are still here and survived with no lasting damage.

I don't think humans are so predictable that their lives should be planned around what a book says. Each child is different, different things will work for each child and a book is not going to take into account your child's personality, your lifestyle, and so on. I am baby led, I follow my son's cues. He has the same bed routine since he was a few months old, he was not interested in eating any food properly until nearly 10 months old. I think modern society is too focused on ensuring baby is sleeping through by 6 months, is doing baby led weaning etc. Don't compare yourself to what others are doing, and do what makes you and your baby happy and comfortable.

This kind of reminds me of the time when my son was about 3 months, it was cold, I had him in a sling, and I had just stepped out on my doorstep where I had my hat on, coat on, baby was wrapped up warm in his coat etc but I had not put his hat on yet as it was hot inside and I was going to put it on whilst we were on the doorstep, a woman happened to be walking past at the time I stepped out, she looked at me, and then she looked at my son and she said " Why have you got a hat on and your baby has not?" I pointed to the hat in my hand and said " I just stepped out of my door and I am just about to put his hat on" I was a bit miffed since it was public and none of her business but also it was nice to see that she cared enough about this baby who has nothing to do with her as she thought he was going to get cold and ill whilst his mother is nice and toasty. She did apologise when I pointed to his hat and put it on him. I agree that giving up smoking is very hard, but I know pregnant women who are heavy smokers who found the willpower to give up smoking for nine months, if a baby does not motivate you, what else will? The fact that the woman and her burly friend said nothing indicates that they knew the OP was right, because most people like myself re above would defend ourselves if we feel we are in the right.

I also think everyone is judgemental to a point, it is normal since we all have different views and opinions. I DO think it is childish to call her pyscho and to say my mum smoked so that makes it ok.

I don't think having a salad or sandwich is going to cause development problems with a foetus, unless they eat it five times a day every day, you can get food poisoning with a lot of food, even those on the safe list if it is not prepared/stored properly but smoking is definitely going to cause problems with a foetus, a foetus is developing and smoking is potentially going to cause some serious damage, never mind the physical problems, or the premature births but it can cause SIDs also. I just think it is extremely selfish since a foetus is the most delicate it could ever be, it is in the process of growing all the organs etc it needs to survive outside of the womb and poisoning with harmful chemicals is not really giving it a chance is it? Is it wrong to tell someone off for smoking around their babies? when do we draw the line of overlooking things because it is not our place or letting people know that what they are doing is wrong and harmful?

Ligaturiosity, good on you for speaking your mind! I would have probably given her a filthy look, like I do to mums and dads smoking around their babies, but I would have not had the gut to actually tell her off though I wish I had the galls to. I personally think that for 9 months, is it really that difficult to put your unborn baby first and make sure you don't smoke or drink excessively? It really does make me angry to see people smoking whilst pregnant, or drinking excessively. Granted that none of us should be butting into other people's business, but if you do things like that in public, then you are leaving yourself open to verbal abuse, I hope that she will at least think that her actions to smoke whilst pregnant is extremely selfish now that you have told her what you think. I gave up quite a few things whilst pregnant because I knew that my baby was depending on me to ensure he has all the goodness of food/fluid he needs in order to develop and grow as best as he can, and since it was no longer about ME, it was quite easy for nine months to put his needs above mine. It has only taken until the last few months for me just to have ONE drink now and again. I like all the posts saying things like 'my mum smoked, I am alive' 'I would rather have a mother who smoked then a psycho' etc so childish.

Ceri cannot do my cake either, sob sob! So I have gone for http://www.newelloccasions.com/index2.php?v=v1 click on testimonials to see some of the party cakes, and they are around ?35!

My son HATES his highchair, I think it is the fact that it is rather high and he does not like it. So a booster seat does the job for us and he feels he is part of the action also.

Yep, I have had it twice this month, I got terrible stomach cramps, temperature, but once I was sick, I was fine. I too thought I had food poisoning but nope, it was a virus. Hope you feel better soon, it was not easy looking after a baby whilst being ill ( thank Goodness he didn't catch it!).

I have had a vomiting bug two times, with stomach cramps etc and I still breastfed my son, he didn't get ill as I believe my breast milk gave him immunity because as I was fighting the bug, it would have been passed to him. I have been told that even when I am ill, I can still breastfeed unless I take medication that is not safe for baby. http://www.breastfeedingmums.com/dr_jack_newman_illness_in_the_mother_or_baby.htm http://www.thinkbaby.co.uk/breast-and-bottle-feeding/breastfeeding-when-you-are-ill/1832.html http://www.kellymom.com/health/illness/mom-illness.html Hope you get well soon x

Ditto what Quids says, as long as baby is eating, sleeping, pooing and having wet nappies then do not worry. I find babies vary completely when it comes to sleeping so I never focused on sleep, just weight gain ( so he is eating enough) and wet nappies!

Parasols are useless I have found, and I spent a fortune on my special UV maclaren parasol. The shade a babe for me was ideal, it keeps the bugs away, it blocks the UV rays, my son can still see out, and does not need to squint against the glare of the sun and it is cooler under the shade a babe for him ( whilst allowing air to circulate unlike a blanket!).

My sweep did not hurt at all,it was weird and a bit uncomfortable but it did not hurt at all. I would say my smear hurt more, but it seemed like those of you whose sweeps did hurt went into labour!

I have a shadeababe and I do recommend it, I got it on this forum though as it is expensive.

Thanks Molly ( and Helenahandbasket) you both said it better than I could. I can understand Jamma point, boys and girls should have equal rights to everything, but she is also failing to understand that there ARE differences between them. I am not saying that because my nieces do not like football that all girls do not like football but I am saying, look at football matches, who make up the most numbers? men. How many girls and women honestly love football? How many girls are in the playground kicking a ball around? if I had a daughter and she wanted to be a footballer I would encourage it and I would not have a problem with it, but you are failing to understand that there are differences between both genders. If our daughters ask for dolls are we supposed to say 'no' and buy them things that are for boys? If our boys wants trucks and cars are we supposed to say go against that and buy them a tea set? My point is, I don't think we 'force' them to be a boy or girl, they just are. ( I also said there are girls that like football etc, we are talking about 'majority' and majority of people at football matches are probably men) I didn't say being a girl is just because housework, I said it just so happens that the majority of women DO tend to do the housework and run the home so girls will follow suit, that does not mean they are limited to only being housewives, as I know plenty of lawyers, doctors etc that would take offend at that because they have jobs they worked hard for but they also run the home. There are plenty of women who have no interest in cooking, it does not limit them. I think you are misunderstanding what I am saying but Molly and Helen Handbasket have said what I think anyway.

DuchessofDulwich, my health visitor just turned up also! And at 4 til 7pm ( she was telling me all about her piles etc). I also did not like that the baby clinic takes place in a room with everyone else, what if you wanted to talk about PND? hardly private if it?

I had it done and it did absolutely nothing for me, my little boy didn't even stir so I ended up being induced the following week.

I just don't understand what the big deal is? it is not like a boy wearing pink in this country will get him sent to prison, or called a big girl is it? and there are lots of girls who like fast cars, motorbikes, the football, lager etc and they are not mocked and discriminated against so I just don't see the point of Jamma's post? Physically and mentally boys and girls ARE wired up differently, boys and girls can never really be the same since our bodies are different. Men and women do in fact have different structures and wiring in the brain so gender might partly be learnt but I do believe it is mostly innate. I have never personally seen any parents go out of their way to make sure their boys stick to boys stuff and their girls only like girly things. I remember a post on here from hanstands I think asking for a playbuggy for her little boy, which I thought was very sweet! I even bought one of my charges a dishwasher as he had an obsession with dishwashers, not once did I think " It is a boy, so let me go and find a truck", I went for what he liked. In fact I had a disagreement with a boyfriend about it in the shop as he could not believe I was buying a boy a dishwasher as he thought it would make him more feminine and my argument was that toys and clothes is not going to make a child more feminine/masculine. Maybe men would have a bigger issue with their boys not being like themselves? I do believe some boys are more feminine and some women are more masculine. If gender is something that is learned, why do intersexual/transgender usually feel a pull to either the female or male side if they could just 'be'? for want of a better word, that is, not be either sex? they must obviously want to be defined as one gender be it male or female for a reason? so gender DOES matter . I worked with a lovely lady ( who was my boss and then become my friend) who was born male but told me she always felt feminine and that she was born in the wrong body. She battled these feelings and in the end she could no longer live with her male body and had an operation to turn her into a female. I think it is amazing that she did this considering she faced so much hatred from members of her family and the general public and for her it was important to be accepted as the female gender. Anyway I am just voicing my opinion as I don't understand the big deal, if supergolden88 puts bows in her son's hair and dress him in beautiful dresses with lace and sequins, and buys him dolls and prams, she would feel more of a bond since he would be more like her daughter? is that what you are getting at with your mention of gender? That his being a boy is nothing but blue clothes and noisy cars? How about the physical difference between boys and girls? Just found this, interesting, a person with no gender! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norrie_May-Welby

Molly, you looked excellent when I saw you last year!! If that is you overweight then I am depressed because I must be obese to you!:)) Though I know I am fat and I have a very limited wardrobe plus I hate what I see in the mirror, I am just physically and mentally tired to even think about dieting and exercising. I know that I will get a wake up call sooner or later and I will diet especially as I have avoided photos with my son since I don't want to be photographed as a fat mum, so I will have to lose weight soon otherwise my son will be 10 and asking why there are no photos of mummy with him! I think we should not beat ourselves up too much, being a mum is hard work, never mind trying to have willpower and the time to diet and exercise when our stress levels are probably high.