Dulwich Born And Bred

Ahh I saw Kate Ford in a Fusion Class last year, she walked out after 10 minutes, I don't think she bargained on Mish class being so hard!

I had ventouse with episiotomy even though I stated in my birth plan that I would much prefer to tear but alas I did not get any say in anything and thus I was cut. As I had an epidural I naturally didn't feel anything at the time, though I do remember a lot of tugging where he was stitching me and I remember thinking when the drugs wear off I am going to be sore! Well I WAS sore!!! I did not think in this day and age such a pain was possible and that it just feels so brutal to be stitched up like that. My stitches were tight and I mentioned it was tight to my midwife but they said it looked fine. Off I go home with lots of painkillers and laxatives and I had a horrible 4ish months. My stitches came undone as it was tight, I got a bad infection that meant I had to spend time in hospital with my newborn ( I was breastfeeding) I was given antibiotics via a drip, I had lots of medical people having a peep down there and was told that it was too infected to stitch back together and that it would have to remain an open wound and heal naturally. I had to go to Kings for check ups, my midwife also kept me on her books longer so she could visit me at home and check my wound. I found having sea salt baths with lavender/tea tree oil twice a day helped lots, I used an hairdryer to dry down below in order to aid healing so my wound could somehow stick together and heal. I found that I could NOT sit on the toilet, it was too painful when my urine hit my wound, so I had to wee in the bath with the shower on my wound!!! Ouch ouch but not as ouch as on the loo with urine hitting raw open flesh!! I dried myself after going loo with a hairdryer once I showered the area. It was virtually impossible to get fresh air to it with the lochia so could do not this. I did feel robbed of my first few precious months with my son as I was in so much pain that I cried lots, and was completely drugged up, I refused visitors as I was just in too much pain to be able to have company. I could not find a piles ring at the time so was making do with rubber swimming aid rings but these did not help much, and trying to breast feed a baby that had constant growth spurts ( and would feed an hour a time) whilst sitting on an open wound was hell. I have to say that I had a liquid diet when I came out of hospital and only ate food that would not bulk up, plus I took laxative every day as I was SO scared about going for my first poo, and I have to say that it did not work, it was still painful and horrible! I cried and cried then too! ( I was advised next time to go in the bath as it helps loosened it and make it more easily...don't think that would go down well with family members,,,it was bad enough weeing in the bath!) 7 months on, I have no pains now but I am finding going number two painful but not up for being prodded and poked again as I had so many people doing that at the beginning! I do my pelvis floor exercises too. All I can say is that time IS a healer. I find it hard to believe that months ago I was in so much pain and so miserable and that it was never going to heal. edited for spelling errors!

Arrghhh. I give up. You all carry on thinking what you want to think, you do anyway. I also don't think what Localmama and Fatherjack told us is gossip and hearsay which is what this whole thread is about!!

I have spaced mine out as my son was deadly ill in hospital with an infection, pumped with antibiotics at 4/5 weeks old, so when he had his 8 weeks injections he was very very poorly. I spaced out the 3 months injections and gave them at 4 months instead, no adverse reaction at all, no temperature, no pain, I was so surprised. He is having his final lot of injections ( the 4 months ones) this week, and he is 6 months now. For me I preferred to space them out, my GP was absolutely fine with it.

Helena, you carry on judging me as you obviously know nothing about me so to be honest, I don't really care what you think. I know what I mean and what I care about as do people who know me and that is all that matters. I am not going to sit here and tell you what I think about mental illnesses as your approval is not something I need to gain. Do you even know if he has a mental illness? do you? and if he does, you think it is perfectly acceptable for him to be in the environment he is in with a risk of it happening again? Could you all stick to the matter at hand instead of starting on anybody who does not agree with your views? this was started in support of Localmama but instead what started off as support to her has turned into an attack on her and others who don't agree with your views, nice one. As I said, I am sure you are VERY PC in your real life.

Ermmm, FatherJack was there and said he heard the man say her breast milk stank, and other people on here said they found the staff not friendly, as have some of my friends, so my impression of the staff is based on people who have had first hand experience of him, sorry, is that not allowed? But it is allowed for you to have an opinion and base everything on possible what ifs? well that is ok then! He thought it was acceptable to spy on a female in the changing room, you can dress it up until the cows come home about any problems etc he might have, but fact is he is in a position of trust, and he abused that trust by spying on localmama in the changing room, That is simply not acceptable. I used to work as a changing room attendant in my teens whilst at college, I would never EVER spy on ANYONE in the changing rooms, even if they were in there all day! I would have most certainly lost my job if I did that, never mind shouting at my customers and then spraying them with air freshener. There are lots of people in this world with varying disabilities, illnesses, issues and so on, it does not mean they can be put into any job and we have to overlook any wrongdoings because of it. In his case it is better if he works behind the scene and not in a customer facing job. Sorry if I feel uncomfortable about not wanting to go in a place where someone thinks it is acceptable to spy and embarrass someone in public in which case it would be better if he is not working there which means he should not have a job there. As I said, I know someone who is regional manager of MIND and she thought it was absolutely appalling how he behaved, but of course Gimme you can be as PC as you want and make excuses because your opinion is obviously so much more valid than mine, after all you think I read the Daily Mail and listen to Vanessa, how snotty and judgemental is that? so you are no better than me. I am bowing out of this discussion now, I just wanted to show Localmama that she has my support and I will still continue to support charities as I do, but I most certainly will think twice about using the changing room in MIND should I ever go there again.

Gimme, I can see you are great fun to be around, are you usually so anal about every single details? As I said, lots of people have had problems with the man, and yes,if he thinks it is acceptable to spy on people in the changing room, I would expect him to lose his job ( don't forget it is not paid, it is voluntary work, so it is not like he is losing money) just as I would expect anyone in a job that involves dealing with customers who thinks it is acceptable to spy, insult people in front of customers and spray people with air freshener to lose their jobs. There is NO excuse for his behaviour, he was rude and agressive and I would not have been happy with an apology, I would want him to be out of his job for overstepping the line because he obviously thinks what he did is ok. And it is your problem if you don't like it. You can make excuses for him and think it is acceptable to spy, be rude and spray air freshener just because he might have mental issues, but I am not making excuses for him. He was wrong, end of.

LocalMama, do not take anything people say personally. You will always find people who just want to argue for arguments sake, and the ones that made nasty comments? well that just goes to show their mentality and honestly, you really do not want to lose sleep over people like that. Everyone I have spoken to who has half a brain are all in support of you. In fact someone I know who is the regional manager for 27 years for MIND in Nottingham was absolutely shocked and fuming about the behaviour you experienced, not once did she act like the people on here saying "what if the man has mental issues, what if , what if, what if blah blah" and as I said she is the regional manager for MIND!! she was so angry that she said she was going to talk to the main people at MIND. The manager peeked in on YOU! If he had thought you were doing drugs or were in there for so long, all he had to do was shout through the curtain " Will you be much longer otherwise I will need to open the curtain" instead he invaded YOUR privacy and looked at you. That is creepy, and that is wrong, if it was anyone else, we would be sacked for spying on someone, so I don't think just because someone MIGHT have mental issues that is excuses their behaviour, that in turn will mean anything people with issues do wrong can be overlooked, I don't think so, right is right, wrong is wrong, You were trying on clothes, you breastfed your child whilst you were at it because she was hungry, there is nothing wrong or against the law with that. Anyone who says " get her a bottle or sippy cup" well, it goes to show how LITTLE they know because not all babies take bottles, sippy cups and the whole point of breast feeding is that no bottles or sippy cups are needed. People who say your baby is too old for breast feeding needs to read WHO who recommends breastfeeding until the age of 2 years old. People who bang on about disrespecting other cultures by 'exposing' our boobs needs to go to other countries and realise women are not made to feel awful for breastfeeding as most women breastfeed as it is natural, it is only in the UK we make such a big fuss about it, hence it hitting the papers. Other people have had issues with the man who causes you distress too, so it was only really going to be a matter of time before someone complained about his behaviour anyway. Furthermore you were subjected to an embarrassing act of him declaring your milk stinks in front of other people and then proceeding to spray you with air freshener. This is absolutely utterly inexcusable and wrong. If he has mental issues ( and we could be here until the cows come home with all the 'ifs') then he is obviously NOT suited to working in a public focused environment anyway. You are in NO way to blame. If that was the case there would no apology from MIND if they found the man's behaviour defendable. As for it making the papers, really who cares if it made the papers?!! I don't care, it would not stop me supporting any charity, it just makes me more aware that the public in general needs a lot of educating about some things. And I LOVE how people think because we breast feed we think we are holier than thou and think the world revolve around us because we have kicked up a stink about it..to the people who think this....honestly, get over yourself because trust me, breast feeding is bloody difficult, it is hard work, we are told breast is best, but yet we are judged and discriminated when we do try and breast feed in public, we are looked at and judged. As I said, I won't breast feed in public for various reasons but one of the main ones is because of the attitude from the general public. Do not apologise or feel bad for anything, you did nothing wrong. HE did and the rest of the people defending him, well, they are just as bad as him. If I had done that to someone I would expect to lose my job, so why should he be no different? especially considering he does not have a great track record anyway with regards to his behaviour. Anyone with common sense would not stop giving to charity because of ONE man, but they would expect that man to be removed from dealing with the public as they would not want to be subjected to his behaviour which in turn would stop them coming into the shop anyway. Before this all kicked off I had friends who donated to MIND and said they never went back again because they found some of the staff weird. ( I didn't ask which staff member). I hope the ones who made Localmama feel bad are proud of yourself.

All I know is Keef, that us breastfeeding mums cannot just whip a bottle out, prop it up against a blanket in the pram so baby can feed whilst we carry on doing what we are doing. Breast feeding is hard enough as it is, without someone saying we need to ask permission and so on. We already have to leave our babies crying for a bit whilst we try and find somewhere comfortable to sit and try to be discreet. It would be so much easier to feed baby formula because they can be fed absolutely anywhere without offending anyone but breast fed babies already have to wait whilst we get comfortable and God forbid not offend anyone whilst we are at it. My son will cry and cry and cry when he is hungry, he will not wait at all and whilst he is crying the last thing on my mind would be " I better get permission to feed my son".

Its not the anti breastfeeding, it is the " she should have asked for permission" why? she is ALREADY in the changing room trying on clothes, so why does she needs to ask permission? I have lost track the amount of times I have been in the changing room, and decided to do my make up or text a friend etc, is that wrong since I am no longer trying on clothes? so what is the big deal about the fact she did not ask for permission?

I most certainly would not be asking if I could have permission to breast feed my baby in a changing room if I am already in the changing room trying on clothes. It is just instincts to feed your baby when they cry for food, I most certainly don't think " Should I ask permission first?" I think " Oh dear, baby is crying, where can I sit to feed baby?" I think it is absolutely sad that people think we should ask for permission to do what is natural. She was already in the changing room, and if she wants to text, fart, feed her baby etc whilst she is already in the changing room then she can. It is not like she was having a picnic there, her baby was hungry, she fed her baby, end of. If people don't like it, don't look because there is a lot of things I don't like when it comes to people ( how they dress, their attitude, the foul language they use etc in public) but I don't sit there saying " They should ask me for permission to see if I am ok with it!" I just avoid them. Boobs are NOT for sexual gratifications , they are for feeding our youngs, end of. I do believe in trying to feed as discreetly as possible as it can be uncomfortable to get a flash of nipple and boobs ( though sometimes we cannot help it when you have babies trying to tug at your clothes and being nosey looking around thus exposing us) but she was in a changing room being discreet. What a sad world we live in when we cannot do what is natural for fear of upsetting people who clearly have issues.

Blimey, how shocking, hope you are ok, that must have been pretty horrid to witness. What is wrong with some people?!

That is awful! I never breastfeed in public for fear of being subjected to such horrid behaviour! It means I am limited to only being out an hour at a time but I rather do that then have to put up with such idiotic views! I cannot believe the amount of people who are so insulted and repulsed by women feeding their babies when they are hungry. We are mammals, we have mammary glands in order to feed our offsprings, what is so disturbing about that?! I supposed breasts are looked upon as a sexual thing, so people find it offensive when we get them out to feed. It might be 2010 but sadly attitudes are still very outdated! Poor woman, I think we should all complain.

Ahhh sarcasm, lowest form of wit. Whether you believe in it or not, amber has been used for centuries in Europe, it is pretty much the norm to see teething babies and toddlers wearing amber teething necklaces in Europe so whether you liken it to snake oil or not, there must be something in it judging by how popular and widespread it is in certain countries. I find it does not alone stop my little one's teething pain but it certainly does decrease the dribbling and red cheeks. So I use that along with Ashtons and Parsons granules.

Thanks Newcomer for that input because I have been surprised by the amount of mothers on various websites commenting on the way the young girl was behaving, I never once thought when I was watching the programme that she was being over the top because I just naturally presumed that she must have been in a lot of pain, and I don't think anyone would be over the top just for the sake of it! I always thought I had a strong pain threshold, I even pierced my own nose when I was young, always went gym, walked everywhere, and so on, but the moment the pessary kicked in, I was in absolute agony, I could not walk, sit down, sleep, I had two shots of pethidine, I had various tablet painkillers, it did not work,I had gas and air, and I have never ever known such pain in my life and I spent hours in pain, when I was rushed to the labour ward, I could not push, the midwives were really rough and was attempting to hold my legs open in order to get me to push but I couldn't, the pain was so intense that I automatically kept closing my legs! I ended up with an epidural, and I still felt all my contractions, I had the maximum amount ( kept hitting the top up button non stop!!) then they had to come and give me another epidural as it didn't work properly on my left side, and I STILL felt the contractions but it was more bearable. So I think people should not comment on how people deal with their contractions unless THEY personally are experiencing her pain ( which is not possible) then they can comment. If anyone has told me that I was overracting I would be so angry because I was in horrific pain. My sister however, cannot take any pain, is completely unfit, is a bit of a lightweight yet she gave birth with no pain relief or anything. I was very jealous!! The next day she was off shopping and going around to people's houses. I was housebound for weeks after my episiotomy which got infected which means I ended up back in hospital for treatment... So I don't think anyone should be bragging about keeping calm, and she was making it worse etc, each labour is unique to us and it might be hard for people who had reasonable easy births to understand, but some of us have absolutely horrible births and no amount of keeping calm, preparations etc will make the pain lessen! I know for a fact that nothing would have made my pain easier ( apart from the midwife inserting the pessary in the right place for a start but who is to say my pain would have been any easier?) Looking forward to seeing tomorrow's one, especially Joy by name but not by nature!!

That is what I thought as my son's dad wanted to take photo in the children's library but as there were lots of kids around I didn't think it would be wise because I am often ( due to my job) going to places with children and the staff is always making it clear that no photos, even if they are your own children, are allowed. Bit sad really that taking photos of them in soft plays, drop in centres, swimming pools etc is banned, usually it makes a nice kodak moment with them looking happy and against a lovely background.

If I wanted to take a photo of my child in say Dulwich children library (I don't!) would it be allowed since photos where children are presented are usually banned i.e soft play etc. This is just for arguments' sake!

Alice, the necklaces are too short to reach the mouth and for the babies to bite.

Poor you! I don't really know what to advise as it is amazing how strong willed these little people can be, and how little sleep THEY can survive on. My son is almost six months and likes to go to sleep between 11pm to 1am, he absolutely refuses to go down before then, and when I do put him down, he will just simply wake up, and then refuse to go back down properly until his usual hour of midnight. He wakes up at 10-11am in the morning, never wakes up before and when I wake him, he is absolutely grumpy and goes back to sleep again, so I give up...for now!! He is breastfed too, and like Fushia, I co sleep, I have to because he does awake about three or four times in the night for a feed and if he was in his cot, he would wake up fully to get my attention for a feed thus coming completely out of his sleep, and not to mention I too would be awake completely having to get out of my warm bed, brave the cold to take him out of his cot and feed him, thus refusing in it taking longer for BOTH of us to get to sleep. With co sleeping, we both are constantly in a state of sleep, as soon as he starts stirring, I just feed him whilst still in a light sleep and then we both go back to sleep properly, no tears, none of us fully awake and both of us able to face the day and remain sane!! I would never have been able to breastfeed this long if I had to keep going to his cot from day one. I am not a fan of controlled crying and I don't intends to try it not at least he is old enough to understand what it is all about instead of being shocked into realising no one is coming to attends to his needs so he might as well sleep. I know these babies are not damaged by it, but I don't like and as a nanny I would never try it on my charges or my son. Have you tried the pick up and put down? Obviously I cannot advise too much as my own son does not go down at an hour I like but I am pretty much baby led until they are of an age they can understand, though co sleeping keeps me sane and enables me to get a decent enough sleep to function. I have to say re the naps, not ALL babies nap. I have known quite a few babies who have never napped and refuses to, but they do go down early and sleep all the way through. Have your parents or someone had baby SB overnight? Usually you find most kids are well behaved for others and will sleep through so it is worth seeing what they do and if you do it differently. Not much to add but I hope you get some decent sleep, not easy is it?!

I think you need to do what suits your baby. Some like it mashed, some like it whole, it is all trial and error, usually baby led weaning is started because the babies will grab food off their parents plates and shove it in their mouths, as babies were first introduced to solids from 3 months onwards, mashed was best because of their lack of mouth control but at 6 months onwards they are supposed to be better at controlling things in their mouths ( losing the tongue thrust reflex) hence they can handle whole food, hence baby led weaning. My son who is now six months and refusing food, bottles and beakers. He just want boobs, but he cannot have boobs forever! I thought like most babies he would love food but nope, he is not having it at all! Snowboarder, I have a strong willed one too..he refuses to go to sleep before 11pm ( usually at midnight he prefers to sleep and he wakes up at 10/11am!).

EBAYThe necklaces are actually quite short, the babies are unable to pull at them, they tend to fall down their back anyway rather than their front. You are supposed to remove it at night but I keep my son's on 24 hours but we co sleep so there is no risk of anything happening to him. Some parents tie the necklaces around their babies ankles at night etc in order to keep the amber necklace warm as the healing properties are supposably in the resin which worked when warmed up. You need to make sure it is baltic amber, the best. I got mine from ebay , he does pure baltic amber necklaces. Another tip, make sure the beads are rounded in order not to leave imprints on the baby's neck.

newcomer Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > When should a baby 'turn'? Mine is still breech > and I'm 30 weeks. Should I be attempting new > positions, etc. to turn it at this stage, or is it > too early to make a difference (ie, would the baby > simply turn back again anyhow)? 30 weeks is too early, as baby can turn back again and keep turning. Generally an ECV is performed I think at 37 weeks as though some babies turn right up to when labour starts, other babies will have no room to turn so will be stuck in that position hence an ECV being performed. Though I was told that even if an ECV is successful some babies can turn breech again. It all depends on what the baby feels like doing! Mine just wanted to stress me!

I just had the one pessary, I went in at around 2 or 3pm ( cannot remember exact time) and I gave birth to my little man the following day at 3.39pm. It didn't feel that long, I actually thought it was morning when I gave birth but alas it was afternoon! Good luck, hope you have a quick and easy one!

Ahhh I feel for you as I had this problem with my son, see my post :MY BREECH BABY I tried spinning babies, bouncing on my swiss ball, moxibustion, nothing... booked an ECV, and just before I was due to have the doctor turn my baby, my little man turned at the 11th hour! Babies can keep turning until the birth so it is all just pot luck really whether baby will turn by itself in time for labour or whether you go through with the ECV. Good luck!

Oh no, how awful! As a nanny and aunty to various kids I am always on the slides with the little ones on my lap, Have done for many years and never had an accident ( touch wood!) it is just one of those things and looks like you were one of the unlucky ones. Hope the little one recovers soon x