dulwichmum

Oh dear Mikecg, are you feeling bitter with someone else now? Diddums!

Oh Mick sweetie, I know what goes on... I watch Girls of the Playboy Mansion on the E Channel. You don't have to be ashamed of your sexuality. We are all friends on the East Dulwich Forum darling!:))

I agree with ????. It is the London Borough of Lewisham afterall.

Me too (blushes)!

Mr Mikecg and Mick Mac, I shall inform the athletic male ex-army trainers at the park next Sunday, that you have equated them with a bunch of table dancers, then I shall assist them in hunting you down to beat you like a pair of dogs! All that testosterone! I can't wait!!!

How very dare you Mr Wolf, I am no bitch. I am a lady (wags finger and points to the naughty step)! Perfect Brum, I am wondering if I should invest in another cashmere Joseph tracksuit - luxurious figure skimming natural fibres can be incredibly sexy, but I fear dry clean only may not be appropriate on this occasion (sigh)! I shall have to give this considerable thought. Do you really think that bouncing athletically through Dulwich Park, being shouted at and generally ordered about by a firm young man is for me? The instructor really is incredibly handsome. If my memory serves me correctly, he makes Daniel Craig look like Baldrick! Note to self: Buy a sports bra.

BBG! I almost laughed my head clean off my shoulders at your last post. Indeed, I would be part of The Ocado Regiment! I have been checking out the "events" section on the BMF web site, and these are certainly not for everyone. I was imagining cocktail evenings and safari trips, red lipstick and seamed stockings, but the social activities seem to be based around sweat, mud and rain (gasp)! There is some mention of rural Wales as a potential destination (OHMYGOD) even the European ski-lodge looks more like Abu Ghraib. There is no mention of spa facilities and I dare say, no opportunity for a girl to use her straightening iron. The group travel and events are clearly not for everyone, but I am drawn to the outdoor, rugged, athletic feel (Neil) and am preparing my wardrobe for my new hobbie accordingly. I am thinking Lara Croft meets Nigella Lawson! NOTE TO SELF: Phone Jo Partridge to arrange a spray tan.

Oh LeagalEagle-ish, couldn't you hire a serf to clean up the droppings? I could send my house-keeper over on her way home from work.

I would be really interested in hunting peasants locally, and always travel with an armed au pair (pepper spray).

Oh Brum darling, I suppose you could go for any of the other "control" underwear. I shall probably not actually require one myself, but I might wear one just to be sure that I look pristine when training! Hannahspanner - isn't he quite the love God! Neil you say, Mmmm. I am a married lady you know, but it doesn't do any harm to look, does it? I am not sure that I like the idea of the animal poo as I am very delicate you know, I would hate to suffer from chaffing or excessive perspiration. I would not be forced to wear my hair in a pony tail would I? Oh Heidi, perhaps that is the best way to proceed in the first instance. Perhaps next week I will sit on a bench and observe with a nice drink to keep me warm. BBW, you are not suggesting that this is genuine infantry training are you? I would hate to be lifted off in a stretcher...

Oh Brum darling, I have never ever worn them myself, but if I was to take part in a fitness class, I would feel compelled to ensure that I was svelte - even more than I already am (smirk)! Simply everyone I know seems to swear by them. They even come in a thong! I was recently at an event and noticed a woman in a fitted dress who was clearly wearing a Spanx control thong - her tummy was flat, but there was a strange indentation across her bum cheeks which looked like two puppies fighting in a sack! NEVER BUY A SPANX THONG! Talk about an underwear malfunction (gasp).

Sweet Strawbs, I wanted to buy one of those Eglu thingies last year, but decided against it at the last minute because of the fox issue. It would have destroyed the children if their chickens were taken by the fox. The Eglu house thingy is apparently fox proof, but my father-in-law felt that the run was not big enough to ensure a happy chicken, and his chickens are regularly spirited away by a fox, day or night!

Darling Brum, Clearly, you have never witnessed the miracle that is Spanx! Are you very fit sweetie? Do you have a six pack? Has anyone on here taken part in this BMF training? Did anyone else see them in the park this morning? Is it any more effective than joining the Dulwich Runners?

Oh Brum darling! I am a married lady (sigh), but that young man in the park provided me with an absolute Coke Break! I wonder if it would be possible to train in a pair of Spanx?

Oh HeidiHi, The view I witnessed was simply stunning! Brum, I suppose I am so excited because I have been working hard to get fit since Christmas (my new year's resolution) and I am fed up exercising by myself. I tried yoga at Dulwich College last year, and the instructor kept manhandling me and making strange noises. It is not for everyone darling. I see this trotting around the park behind a pert young man as hugely motivating. Now I get the chance to strut my stuff! Life doesn't end at forty you know! Michael darling, you know that my identity is a secret. Shhh, I would hate to beat you up with my enormous fists like hams.

Lovely Strawbs, My parents-in-law keep chickens and although they live on a rambling country estate (clearly) I can't see why anyone would want to object. Boy chickens can be incredibly noisey, but I can't see any problem at all. We see the local fox in our garden so often, it is the only reason that I don't have any chickens myself.

Oh Brum darling, I am excited. This is going to be a fabulous opportunity to show the other school gate mummies how stunningly superior I look. Sweet CitizenEd, You don't really think that I will have to tie my hair back do you? I just had my hi-lights done by Bruno yesterday and my hair looks amazing cascading down my back!

I am loving the Youtube clips of the classes, and I want to be in the advanced group (the instructor is so pert!). I don't fancy wearing the bibs much, the colours are not very nice. I was planning on buying a new Asics Turquoise running jacket and the colours simply wouldn't go. I may even purchase one of those little water bottles shaped like a polo mint. Accessories are everything. I am delighted that I have been spending so much time on the Power Plate lately, I look fabulous. Exercising at home can be very lonely, I am looking forward to getting out there and strutting my stuff! Has anyone tried this with BMF before?

Who is crypto man sweetie? The man on the website Podcast thingy had a lovely deep voice and promised that no-one is humiliated or made an example of... what a shame. I would love to watch others being carried away in stretchers! I am physically perfect, so I would not be in the "blue bib" group (smirk).

Oh Macroban, I don't know what he means, but you should see his pecs! I am off to Sloane Square to buy some new sports gear. You don't think that they would make us carry logs do you? My manicure is incredibly expensive and I simply hate insets!

I have just been to Dulwich Park and noticed a hot young man in some combat trousers and a close fitting blue t-shirt next to a van emblazoned with the name ?British Military Fitness?. Apparently he is about to commence some kind of public boot camp training in the park!!! Normally, this would not be my thing at all, but recently I allowed my membership of the gym at Chelsea Harbour to lapse and sacked my personal trainer as I consider it to be far too opulent in the current global financial crisis. The chap was incredibly attractive ? he could crack walnuts with his bum cheeks and had cheek bones like Daniel Craig (swoon). I thought that this kind of exercise might be rather fun, I can just see myself bouncing along merrily behind him on a warm summer morning. Has anyone any experience of BMF? They would not want us to shave our heads or chant silly songs would they?

???? Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > to Dulwichmum > > ...will you do my roof for cash mate? Darling ????, Get a nice packet of Garibaldi's and I am there!

We should never take our lead from the Netherlands. Their attitude towards body hair is most offensive...

Oh Kalam darling! No, let's call the vet. He has anaesthesia and a big scissors!

There is a place in Dublin called Stilorgan!