dulwichmum

Well stop implying I am a ho, or I shall pistol whip you with my tool belt. http://www.gifttrap.com/images/blue/GiftTRAP-EF-Red_66.jpg

Oh dear, Mikecg is still clearly bitter because he has was sending me love notes, before he discovered it is common knowledge here on the forum that I am a man...

Mr Wolf, Catford darling? Who sweetie? Me sweetie (makes vomiting gesture)? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sweetie. I watched the early episodes of The Royle Family, and engage in occasional charity work, so I know what goes on (smirk). Here in Dulwich (West, Village and SE21), our progeny play stringed instruments from an early age. Housekeepers do needle point, fathers follow supper with cheese and biscuits and mothers bitch about school league tables and spend fortunes on shoes (NOT MBTs). I am from Beckenham and am of aristocratic Argentinian parentage...

Oh Mr Wolf darling, you are so kind. However, the London Borough of Lewisham is simply NOCD! I imagine that their tiny grey houses are choc full of lazy boy chairs, fake Ugg boots and copies of the Daily Mail... http://wrjih.files.wordpress.com/2006/07/lazyboy2-large.jpg

Where is The Herne dear Lilolil - if it is Herne Hill, that place is virtually Brixton, what can you expect (sigh). I always get my au pair to stand guard by our bicycles when we are out. She is a big girl, and she carries pepper spray...

OHMYGOD! Well, Honor Oak Park is in Lewisham darling, what do you expect?

These conveniences are not for everyone sweetie.

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What are you saying dear dulwichdoll? Michael and I are drinking buddies of old. Aren't we sweetie? Sweetie? SWEETIE?

Blows kiss to Michael Paleproctologist. "Can I offer you a glass of bubbles darling?"

You East Dulwich singles with your promiscious social lives, filled with chance encounters, fetish wear and sexually transmitted diseases ... (sigh). I am so very happy today to be a married lady (scoffs chocolates while sniffing a red rose and stares across minimalist Poggenpohl kitchen island at brow beaten husband)...

No, the WI is not for everyone. In my mind, it will forever be associated with big knickered ladies and lemons in socks cleavage like my monster-in-law. A bunch of new members with Orla Kiely wipe clean vinyl handbags do not make it trendy. I know that people are calling it the Trendy WI, but will they be referring to Saga as trendy soon just because they move on to the next stage in their lives? The summer is coming Mifi, plug in your GHD, get your high heels on and get into town. Some things are worth travelling into town for!

Blamestorming - I heard this one during the week. It is when people sit around at work discussing why a deadline was missed or who was responsible for a project that failed... loves it! I also enjoyed hearing the phrase Seagull manager for the first time - a manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and leaves. I have had a bad week. Anyone for vino?

A tattoo on a woman is nothing but a tramp stamp...

Oh Louisa! How dare you. You should be ashamed of yourself. Are you pre-menstrual or something?... Oh no, I understand now, you are menopausal. Shame.

OHMYGOD! (sniff) Such hostility! What can I buy my darling man? How about these? http://dulwichmum.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/ruffle.jpg

Michael darling, you know that I am a professional lady (sigh). Less of the inuendo. Actually, I am wracking my brains to come up with a gift for James for Valentines day, a gift for the man who has everything. Has anyone any suggestions at all? I am at a loss, he has an Ipod, a B & O TV and an Aston. What should I give him?

OHMYGOD! I am on my way home from work and my Gina slingbacks will be destroyed... Grrr. Actually (chirps) it may provide me with a valuable excuse for shoe shopping during these crunchy credit times (sigh).

Sweet Mr Honk, Indeed I am not Neil Boorman, and nor would I ever want to be. OHMYGOD! He writes for The Guardian (it's not for everyone darling...) he has fluffy facial stubble and his Human League hair do is frightfully last year.

OHMYGOD!

Lovely Mikecg, but you know I am a scorpio, it is on my Facebook page sweetie.

But I was being serious boys... Lets built a big partition!

Mr Vinceayre, I am almost forty years old (shhh) and I assure you that I shall look substantially older when I am married forty years, despite the ready availability of various injectible substances at a beauty emporium not a twenty minute stroll from your own fine establishment. If you are unkind to me, I shall have Albena (my enormous Bulgarian housekeeper) give you a thick ear, but I shall never stop indulging in your fine confectionery (sigh)!

I am horrified by this. Poor Tosh. I think that none of us should ever go to Peckham, not ever. Indeed, I am about to pen a letter to my MP insisting that the whole of Dulwich become a gated community. Perhaps we could have some kind of electric wiring type of arrangement constructed. I hear that the building of ten foot walls can be expensive.

vinceayre Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > A note from the owners of Ayres the Bakers. > > I refute all suggestions of mass murder. > I know for a fact that neither I nor my ancestors > have killed any of our customers by selling them > fabulous buns and cakes because i have often asked > them whether they are dead and they have > catagorically said no. > Dulwichmum cannot know much about our shop as I do > not believe she has ever paid less than ?5.00 for > a loaf of bread so would have no idea what a > proper bakers is. > For the sausage rolls I offer no defence. > > So there!! > > ps: DM I would have added a link to your UberBlog > but dont know how. Perfect manly Mr Vinceayre, I refute your claims that I do not know much about your shop. I'll have you know that I dispense my housekeeper to your establishment on a regular basis, ignoring any concerns for her safety - it is practically in Peckham you know (OHMYGOD!). Indeed, if it were not for your nonchelant attitude towards the health and indeed the marriages of the local population, I would not currently be enslaved to my damn Power Plate. I am completely addicted to your confectionary (swoon). Shame on you young man, I am a married lady of almost forty years with a nubile young au pair around the house to compete for my husbands attentions. Have you no idea of the lengths I must go to in order to work off these excessive calories? I have a young family to think of (sob)...