Captain Scarlet

A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored out of their minds. "How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile. "Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac. Silence took over... and the masochist says: "Meow."

Captain Scarlet Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > How many scenesters does it take to change a light > bulb? > > It's an obscure number, you won't have heard of > it! Just for you Sue....amother joke!....whats boring anout posting a joke? My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him under

How many scenesters does it take to change a light bulb? It's an obscure number, you won't have heard of it!

I was invited to go out clubbing last week. But I like seals so I declined.

Bloke walks up to a chubby woman in a bar, gives her a wink, and says "Hi love, have you got a pen?". She blushes. "yes!" she says. The guy smiles and say "well you'd better get back in it before the farmer realises you've got out

ImpetuousVrouw Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Mick Mac Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Im up for more information. Cant wait. > > > I'm sure no-one one here wants me to go on about > my squirty orgasms and favourite positions, do > they? Yeh go for it! love to hear more!.

A guy walks into Joe's Cafe and sees a rabbit ordering bacon on toast. The next day he notices the rabbit orders cheese on toast. On the third day the rabbit is not in the cafe, so the guy asks Joe why the bunny hasn't shown up. Joe said : Oh him ? He died from mixinmetoasties.

There were seven dwarves in the shower all feeling happy, but happy got out, so they all started feeling grumpy instead.

so, i'd been working in sellarfield for three weeks when i noticed my hair was falling outand bits of skin was falling off me, i went to the doc's and told him how worried i was, he said i was over re-acting

I was standing at the bus earlier when this guy just hit me on the legs with a stick for no reason. Naturally, I retaliated and beat the shit out of him. Just for good measure, I kicked his Labrador as well.

A guy comes into a bar one day and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says, "Wow! You must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy comes into the bar again and asks for the same drinks. When the bartender asks what the problem was today, the guy says, "I've just found out my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy comes back into the bar yet again and orders another six double vodkas. The barman says "JESUS! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" "Yeah! Says the guy, "My wife..."

There is a guy in my local Chinese takeaway that spends all day frying frozen fish. He's between a wok and a hard plaice Also on the news earlier they announced a new drug for women that no longer want to be lesbians. It's called Tricoxagain.

Everyday a male co-worker walks up to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of fresh air and tells her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she cant stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a superviser in the personnel department and asked to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human resources superviser is puzzled and asks " Whats threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice? " The woman replies " Its Revill the dwarf! "

A pianist is playing in a hotel lobby when he spots an elephant crying in the corner. "Ah, you recognise the tune", he says. "No" replies the elephant, "I recognise the ivory"

ok..toned down jokes! Bowler hat walks into a bar and asks for a double scotch Barman says ' I can't serve you, cos your off your head'

ImpetuousVrouw Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > On a serious note, I have a rabbit and found the > pointy clit bits too stiff and irritating if I was > trying to get my gspot with the big main bit, so I > cut off the stupid clit extention bits. It was > just spiky and uncomfortable. I think the clit bit > is just a gimick myself as it was better without > it. I have a few other toys, but they are getting > a bit dusty as I prefer to masturbate using my >:D:D:D fingers. > > Yes Karter, loads of women @#$%& when they are in > relationships. I especially like having my tits > sucked by my partner when I'm having a strum.

I normally put my playstation 3 on,put resident evil 5 on...kill a bunch of zombies!

DJKillaQueen Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > lol........might go for a stripey one in the end > >:D< lol...KINKY!:))

waynetta Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Of course physical attraction is important. Why > else would she be with him ? > > http://blog.mtvasia.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12 > /2067054.jpg Lol.....you cannot see the large wad of money in his pocket and his wallet full of no limit credit cards! thats sex appeal!

sooooooo what one you getting Dj ?B)

happymummy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Kate Middleton the first person to squeezew > into Diana's ring since Dodi al > Fayed..............::o lol good one!

Lol..Lights out...under cover...great fun had!.

DJKillaQueen Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Is the 'rampant rabbit' the best on the > market????? Heart throb version is betterB)

Narnia Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Oh.....a threat you won't post! Im not threatening anything Sweetie!. I'll still post>:D<

Narnia Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > They were crap jokes Captain. If you recognise > that why post them? To shock! to test the water,see what reaction they would cause! I have apoligised once I will not do so again.