Captain Scarlet

Beans are good for erotic food sex with your partner...any one into splosh?....lol

Allooooooooooo Tarot me ol mucker..where ya been ol chum:)-D

waynetta Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > CROOKLOCKS designed to secure car steering wheels > can just as easily be fastened to a toilet seat, > thus preventing burglars from using your lavatory. Bum burglars?

What sort of rock? Heavy metal,rock n roll,Thrash metal.grudge? Emo? Sounds good..:)-D

one of my favorite scenes from season one

Actual Housing Complaints - Jun 19, 2002 These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils and Housing associations throughout the UK: 1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. 3. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew them off. 4. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall. 5. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant? 6. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 7. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy. 8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. 9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink. 10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. 11. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it. 12. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night. 13. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife. 14. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have had no satisfaction. 15. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus in it.

A Muslim fundamentalist was arrested in Wales for sheep rustling...The judge ordered him to give the sheep back. He said he would not They were Islams!!

well...just finished watching season 5 and ive got to say the best season yet!

Predators the latest one was good..awesome in fact!

Jeez.....not a very good prezzie!...No nookie for you after Christmas

lol are there any shops in lordship lane like the shop Bruce willis stumbles in from pulp fiction? Dodgy basement.....Gimp in box?..........My names Zed!

Jah Lush Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Gang Bang - Sensational Alex Harvey Band > > Oh! Hang on, wrong thread. Oh! Maybe not. There aint nuthinn like a ganggggggggg bang! to blow awayyyyyy the bluesssssssss great song

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERY ONE!!

Hellraiser films...very gory,very kinky and good for a lauth!

I know some people who have had shivers,aching muscles,vomiting...severe headache! then died! But became re-animated a few hrs later! flesh dropping off and wanting to eat human flesh! oppps wrong virus!....been watching walking dead toooo muchB)

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?" "I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!" Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory." With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more. The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting, melody fills the house. Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master: "Master, Master! The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"

Man goes to the doctors with a hearing problem Doc says "can you describe the symptoms?" Man says " yeah, homers fat and marge has got blue hair "

I must have really pissed off my wife when I tried erotic asphyxiation on her when we were having sex. She's been lying there for five days now giving me the silent treatment.

Was asked to go and see my ex-girlfriend today. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex. Police weren't too pleased. I was only meant to be identifying the body.

Ms_Lilith Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Father Christmas' sledge broke down on Christmas > Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, > 'Can you help me fix my sledge?' > 'Sorry,' the motorist replied. 'I'm not a mechanic > - I'm a chiropodist.' > 'Well, can you give me a toe?' Lol....Boom,boom

Pee on your fingers..let them dry! that put you off!

Ms_Lilith Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > According to the wikipedia entry Fairytale of New > York Mitch Benn commented that "faggot" was Irish > and Liverpudlian slang for a lazy person, and was > unrelated to the derogatory term for homosexuals. > > > So is this derogatory term, also used in that > context in Liverpool and Ireland to mean lazy > person? Could never understand the slang term "faggot" which is used In America to insult Homosexual men? But In Uk Is a tasty word for a Meat dish!...MMMMMMMMMMM faggots for dinner yum!

the pogues do like this song tho

jeez......they still going! aint he dead yet!