Captain Scarlet

I apoligise....No offence meant! Just bad taste jokes which you would find flying around being told in the real world in pubs n clubs ect. lets be honest..everyone likes a bit of dark humour now and again.

Q. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. The pilot, you racist prick.

GSJ57 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Does your Mum know you're using the computer, Capt > Scarlet? yep,She's the one telling me the jokes!>:D<

I used to be a choirboy but quit after the priest invited me to a special private prayer session, when I turned up he took me to his bedroom and told me to get down on my knees, I stayed their quivering in anticipation until finally he knelt beside me and prayed for half an hour. All that money I spent on lube for fucking nothing.

Two condoms outside a gay bar - one turns to the other and say's 'lets go in their mate and get shitfaced!'

Special joke for Tarot! My mate bought an inflatable sex doll off a Muslim guy at the market. It blew itself up.

What does a Scouser bird say during sex? "Gerroff Dad, you're squashing me ciggies..."

Can you spare just ?2.00? Ranji is a 9 year old boy living in Namibia in Africa. He has only one leg, and is blind in one eye. Every day he goes seven miles along a narrow road on his rusty bike with no brakes to get to school. If you can send just ?2.00 . . . we'll send you the video! It's hilarious!

WHY DID THE PERVERT CROSS THE ROAD --- COZ HE WAS STILL STUCK UP THE CHICKEN

My girlfriend just got back from the doctors, he told her to "get ready for a lot of sleepless nights changing nappies" "am I pregnant?" she asked "no" he replied "you've got bowel cancer".

I read in the local newspaper that a dwarf was pick pocketed where I live, I just don't understand how anybody could stoop that low.

I just watched the footage of Saddam"s Hussein"s execution...It made me wonder if there is anything on the internet that I wouldn"t masturbate to.

My Gran caught me having a wank the other day, she was so surprised she had a stroke..... Surprisingly soft hands for a pensioner.................

My girlfriend just split up with me, I was making love to her the other night when she said "make love to me like they do in the movies", so I fucked her hard in the ass before pulling out and cumming all over her face and tits. I guess we don't watch the same sort of movies.

I'm so chuffed, I just put down the deposit on a Porsche. I was so pleased with myself, I wrote "I can't wait for the new 911" on facebook. Now I have 4000 Muslims wanting to be friends with me.

Big boobs, big boobs,big boobs,long legs..sod personality!B)

lol..willy wagging on cam! sounds like fun to me!.....Is there a cam room on this Forum? whos up for some cyber!>:D<

SeanMacGabhann Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > @ Captain Scarlett > > blimey - you'll be saying don't go to an Aberdeen > Steak House next Just a word of warning! its true!

Do not go to the Harvester at lordship lane! I was waiting for a steak there and me and my lady friend was sitting near the kitchen and she could see the cooks working! sitting down eating our salad chatting away when I saw my friend face turn a shade of green! asked what was wrong and she said she had seen one of the chefs pick his nose and wipe it on a plate! we reported to the management and left! ruined our appitite!

Internets great for shopping,chatting,watching films,online gaming,catching up on news,putting your voice in the net so to speak! but have to agree it can eat into your time if your not aware of it!.

PeckhamRose Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > HAHAHAHAHAHA > I bet you'd like to though. > > Never done it with a sheep. In a phonebox. > > Never been to Venezuela. > > And was NEVER in The Bill! Lol kinky! would you like to watch! I dont mind if you do rose. >:D<

Tarot Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Well Captain Scarlet. most of the chicken in > batter, tastes very similar to the grisly stuff in > bags that they sell in Iceland. The last takeaways > chicken balls tasted like ground up chicken feet, > it was vile. If your chicken is shaped into little > balls dont eat it. Big chunks in batter are best. Thank you for the advice Tarot but may I ask...Are they using real chicken balls?...They would be tiny!

Vietnam?....Me loveeeeeeee you long time? Trust the yanks to come up with doozie like that!'Stockdale paradox' but I agree be a miserable bugger! lol

I think,therefore I am.

Never bummed a gorilla