*Bob*

Anyway, it's dead easy to find. If you're coming from Croydon village, follow the A23 until you reach Streatham village. Keep going through Streatham Hill village, past Brixton Hill Village and Brixton village is on your right. Can't miss it. You know - just where the m*rket used to be.

Why not go the whole hog and just call it Xanadu?

'Brixton Wankotron' I feel it would convey all intended aspirations without the need for a dirty word like 'v*llage'.

Well said, UDT. I also make my own clothes. This allows me to make my own selection of high-quality cotton, zips and buttons etc - and thus create clothing which is far superior to shop-bought clothes at any given price point.

Very much the Apollo 13 of her time, in that nobody was really interested until she sank. (throws long-lost jewel poignantly into the icy depths)

Incidentally, The Beeb have been running a primetime, pre-watershed TV poster campaign called 'Allah makes some people gay, get over it', for a couple of years now. To date, a mob sporting explosive belts and Russian-made assault rifles have not surrounded White City.

I don't buy that 'not having a pop at Islam' is down to being scared - or somehow 'not being allowed'. The truth is that most people, myself included, know hardly anything about Islam. This in contrast Christianity, a religion bound up in the state, schools, architecture, media, social life etc etc for a millennia and a half or whatever, undergoing tumultuous change - not to mention considerable moderation - along the way. Like most people, I can't say anything about Islam these days. But then I don't actually know anything about it, so it's probably best if I don't. You don't have to go back too many centuries in England before such a poster would have earned you a cruel, summary death. Where and what will Islam in the UK be in four hundred years?

Is this the standard clarion call of any theological debate these days? "Ooh, you wouldn't say that about the Muslims". Forget about the Muslims already. We live in the UK. The Queen is the head of the Church of England. She's also head of state. And that's what this is fuss is all about: church and state.

Come on, ???? - get yourself an Osbourne book of planes and feel the magic. Alas spotting is not my thing.. but trying to record things with microphones in a house under two flight paths is - it's often useful to know when you should be in for a quiet stint! Agree on those birds though.

You can look at a replay of landings and departures on any given day - in real time - on this website below. Hover over any aircraft icon for its altitude - move the scroll bar to speed the replay up. It's slightly addictive. In fact, the best thing is never to look at this website and just forget about them. The more you think about it, the more you hear them. http://webtrak.bksv.com/lhr (This one's for Heathrow. You can see the two different patterns depending on whether wind is from West or East - especially if you speed up the replay)

Here's The Bottom Line, plane fans: Wind blowing from the east: there are no Heathrow planes coming over. The ones you see are for City Airport. They have smaller engines, they come in at a steeper angle and are less frequent, but are lower and can often seem very loud and piercing, but the sound disappears quickly. Wind blowing from the west: the planes you see are going to Heathrow. Bigger engines, louder, more frequent, flatter angle of descent - but usually higher up in the air. Expect rumbling, longer-lasting passes that often merge into one another when you get a bad run of them. Appox 2/3 of the year you get Heathrow, the other 1/3 you get City. Check the weather forecast and you know what you're in for over the next few days.

And remember - it's important to adjust the shutter speed to 'sport' before you line-up for the shot, otherwise the boot swinging towards your genitals can often come-out all blurry.

I think ???? has it there. abv is the killer, fuelled by a wave abv-ante-upping by the drinks industry which started ten or fifteen years ago, like drinking anything under 4% was something to be ashamed of!

I start each day by looking into the mirror and saying: "you're you, you're amazing, you deserve it" three times over. And then going for a seven-mile power-jog. Works for me.

They sell Scampi-Flavoured fries. 'nuff said.

rinse and repeat

Many people would rather see someone else's nose cut off, even if it spites their own face in the long run. It's a British tradition.

Lou, you might consider entertaining the possibility that by spending the last five years railing somewhat spitefully against the very people who ought to have been potential new customers - that you might, in some small way - have contributed to its demise. In short: the next time you have a favourite restaurant, the management would probably prefer it if your online persona kept it to herself.

Fear not, Pibe.. there are plenty of other local eateries thaw you can prope up.

poor form, Atticus Do things right - and get your amusing pet picture of choice posted as soon as possible.

Louisa Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- Many of the middle-class people in ED.. Ooh.. there it goes again!

Only you, Louisa, could turn the illicit picking of daffodils into an issue of 'class'. Actually, I spotted a couple of teenage Japanese girls carrying a few past the Harvester on Saturday. Very cruel race.

I'll see your five - and raise you ten

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I'm blaming you, katie. Entirely. (pint, please)