jaybee82

Oh she definitely fell into the 'hot' category on first glance (and probably would have maintained it if she'd have managed to remain sober) but slipped to 'tepid' once opening her mouth.

I wonder where they lure all these scantily-clad lovelies from...good job they have the safety of the phone to hide behind. You think you're talking to a 6ft blonde stunner...she probably looks more like Tubbs from The League Of Gentlemen.

My Party - Kings Of Leon

OK, I'm fairly sure this one's Counting Crows...their greatest hits is called 'Films About Ghosts'...? Dunno the song tho'.

A mate of mine's Aunt apparantly works on one of these chat lines, terrifying woman. Enough to scare me into never ringing any of them!

Loved this comment on the BBC website: "New Chelsea manager Guus Hiddink has revealed that when he was growing up he dreamed of being a "stront boer" - a farmer who raises animals to sell manure" (The Sun) Congratulations Guus. Your dream has now become a reality at Chelsea!

In My Bones - Groove Armada

I'm pretty sure no one has - NZ are currently top of the IRB World Rankings with 92.68 rating points... ...erm...off the top of my head.

Cheers Brendan! Suddenly feel quite good about last month's Annual Hockey Club Lordship Lane pub crawl!

See the article at the top Georgia...

I believe you can...though knowing my local newsagent they may be out of date (mentioning no names!) I always used to be a big fan of Scampi Fries but haven't seen them for ages.

Surprised no ones done Peanut Butter yet. Well not that I've seen anyway. Definitely bring back Spring Onion!! Tomato Ketchup was particularly repulsive.

Ahh fair shout. Glad I'm not the only one!

Robbed from a Charlie Brooker article I found quite funny... New crisp flavours So, if you could invent a crisp flavour, what would it be? I'm going for a Kebab & Wine Chicken Shish with Burger Sauce.

Does anyone here use twitter? The world and his brother are on about it at the moment. www.twitter.com I tried it this morning and found it quite possibly the most mind-numbing self-indulgent waste of time on the interweb. The idea of people writing a minor monologue of their lives every few minutes irritated me beyond distraction, and reading some bo11ocks about some Welsh cab drivers jaunt down to Costcutter to "buy a tin of beans" almost tipped me over the edge... Felt good to get that off my chest. I hope I'm not alone!

Certainly is! Any idea which song?

Never Too Much - Luther Vandross

Aha. Radiohead - Anyone Can Play Guitar "I make the shapes come much too close I pull my eyes out, hold my breath and wait"

Chelsea Hotel #2 - Leonard Cohen "He knows the swingers and their cavalry, Says he can get in anywhere for free"

No offence Keef, I know its not particularly pleasant if you do have it. Just put me off my food a bit. I thought it was quite an 'old school' illness actually. A bit like the Mumps.

Pretty glad I did in the end, as she confessed to me she had a recurrence of gout in the middle of my American Hot. Needless to say I did not see her again.

I have to confess to doing that a few months ago in Pizza Express...I blame the Credit Crunch personally.

I hear in these parts your ladyfriend might be referred to as simply 'Me Ladee'. Not to be confused with 'Yes Me Lady' Parker from Thunderbirds. A demonstration... 'I bin hangin out in Dulwich Park wit' me lady innit blud' Something a bit like that...er...blud.

Is that the same as 'Any hole's a goal?'

"Keep flushing. Its bound to go down sooner or later"