bignumber5 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I've asked a group of kids that were kicking a > ball against my wall when I was on nights (so > trying to sleep) and I went for polite reasoning, > as this is how my parent-friends talk to their > children of same age - kids looked at me like I > was a moron, then kept on doing it. I went out and > again, polite, calm explanation that what they > were doing was not very nice for me, could they > please stop and maybe find somewhere else to play > with their ball. They said ok, but didn't move. I > stood and waited and eventually they moved... over > the road to a group of adults chatting. One child > talks to one adult, same adult comes over just > before I close my door to point out that I can't > tell her child what to do. Apologised for > misunderstanding, but I had asked, not told. She > turns away mumbling a combination of expletives > and patois. She tells the kids not to worry. The > kids eyeball me as they walk away. > > I think that there really must be a happy medium. > I'm not advocating the days of any adult giving > any child a swift cuffing, but the world revolves > around children in many ways, and I think that > child-protection and paedophilia have made people > very suspicious of adult strangers socially > engaging with children in any way. I also think > that the problem arises if parent and other adult > disagree over whether behaviour was wrong, because > the parent has the veto, and then disciplines the > other adult (as happened with me). Too polite? If > I had barked at the kids, then responded to the > defensive mother that if she managed them better > then I wouldn't have to, would my point have been > heard? Do you have to appear angry to demonstrate > that something is annoying you? > > Great, except what have the kids learned during > this situation? Behaviour excused, self-centred > view of world vindicated. Or strange adults are > scary, angry people. Can't win. But... > > Conversely, when I'm at work (as a nurse) and in > uniform, people waiting for doctors will hand me > their children with a level of blind trust, and > ask my opinion on their minor foibles of > parenting. They will also have no inibition in > physically disciplining their children in front of > me in a way that I doubt they would openly. Never > a comfortable experience. But if people are in > hospital and their children are running riot, I > can talk to the children and the parents and both > listen, almost like I'm disciplining the parents > too. > > I'm a stranger in both situations, yet it's > context that determines whether or not my opinion > counts for anything. The mother sounds completely stupid and ignorant and we wonder why a lot of kids nowadays grow up to be hooligans.