Jah Lush

Cool Britannia, Britannia you are cool (Take a trip). Britons ever ever ever shall be hip. It's good to be in England, now that summer's here, I'll stand upright in my wheelbarrow, And pretend I'm Boadicea!!

There was a time when people celebrated Empire Day at least that's what my dad told me and he used to moan that we didn't celebrate that anymore until I explained to him that we not longer had an empire because we'd given it away.

Just the two of us then. Pork pie?

As I put on my FB page I'm very proud to be English but I won't stand for any of that jingoistic nonsense. Happy St George's Day to you too. Pints of London Pride all round.

That would seriously ruin my weekend but if it meant we could claim that final 4th spot at the end of the season then I'd take it.

Pah!

Keef Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Very true. I suspect the best guitarist ever was > not Hendrix, Slash, Blackmore, Clapton... But > rather some bloke who played in pubs, that we > never heard. Keef... you know damned well that Jeff Beck is King Of The Strings. He certainly doesn't get enough credit because he hasn't sold as many records as those you've just mentioned. He's never sold out to commercialism. It's because he doesn't give a fuck and just does his own thing.

Doesn't matter who Bale is up against he'll skin 'em anyway. He's in the form of his life at the moment. I'll quite happily settle for a point at Old Trafford tomorrow but what worries me is that for the first time in my life I want Arsenal to win tomorrow. Can't have those nouveau riche upstarts grabbing 4th spot.

Aha! Must be similar to the case in France with the French players. Underage totty.

After that lingering kiss last week at the end of the Manchester derby. It had to happen and the Daily Mash delivers. Neville & Scholes To Go Camping Together

Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band - No Matter Who You Vote For, The Government Always Gets In BONNGGGG Preside! Hear, hear, hear! Might I remind you... Say it... Order! Might I remind you... (Heigh ho!) No! OOORDERRRR!!! Noises on the radio Megaphones on cars Sermons from the Street of Shame Know-it-alls in bars Posters in suburbia Experts on t.v. Don't let them disturb-i-ya They're just the powers that be Heigh ho! Don't worry Nobody can win (Heigh ho! Heigh ho!) No matter who you vote for, the government always gets in! Heigh ho! riiiiinnng!!! (yaaaawn) Oh, great, great slumbering nation cock-a-doodle-doo! Awake! Set yourself free! Oh, smell the comforting bacon Taste the bromide tea sluuuuurrrrp aahhh! An' give a little chirrup as I ladle on the syrup Promises are cheap Let me bear your crosses Make me Boss of Bosses Then you go back to sleep! ha ha ha... Heigh ho! Don't worry Pop your cross in the bin (Heigh ho! Heigh ho!) No matter who matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in! Heigh ho! Heigh ho! Heigh ho! Heigh ho! Men have dreams of a finer place Incorruptible Shangri-la Women too have their Shangri-Las Shangri-La la la! See them in the public eye Oozing oily charm Hear them all personify Down on Animal Farm oink oink moooo!! Dog eat dog, not cock and bull Isms are the game Ism this and ism that Ism it a shame? Heigh ho! Don't worry Nobody can win (Heigh ho! Heigh ho!) No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.

I'm not cool Keef. Just got good taste.

Did I? So I did. I'm gonna change one of those then and put up some Wreckless Eric instead.

Catch My Fall - Billy Idol.

"Waiting for your taxi but taxi never come."

Judging by the election poll thread and a fair few of the people who post on this forum I'd call it The Bleeding Heart Liberal.

hellosailor Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > If Keef is allowed Natalie Imbruglia can I have > Phil Collins? > > Or a step too far? Yes it most certainly is. I think the pair of you should be put into a padded cell, strapped to chair and forced to listen to Bewitched on repeat until you come to you senses. Mind you with taste like that you'd probably enjoy the experience.

Wreckless Eric - Reconnez Cherie On a convenient seat by the lavatories In the sodium glare We used to wait for the bus in a passionate clutch And go as far as we dared Do you remember When I passed my driving test Took you to the pictures Forget the rest Do you remember All those nights in my Zodiac Playing with your dress Underneath your Pac-a-Mac Reconnez Cherie Quand nous avons vive en ecstasy And then a voice from afar in the back of my car Whispered 'Gay Paris' And looking ever so French the bohemian dream You said 'bonjour mon ami' Do you remember When I moved into my studio flat Hot sticky nights In the summertime in bedsitland Do you remember When you sold your paintings in the gallery And they said 'mais oui ce soir, 'C'est la vie c'est le tricolor' Reconnez Cherie Quand nous avons vive en ecstasy

Sympathy For The Devil - Rolling Stones Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith And I was 'round when Jesus Christ Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that Pilate Washed his hands and sealed his fate Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game I stuck around St Petersburg When I saw it was a time for a change Killed the Czar and his ministers Anastasia screamed in vain I rode a tank Held a general's rank When the Blitzkrieg raged And the bodies stank Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name, oh yeah Ah, what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game, oh yeah (woo woo, woo woo) I watched with glee While your kings and queens Fought for ten decades For the gods they made I shouted out, "Who killed the Kennedys?" When after all It was you and me Let me please introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste And I laid traps for troubadours Who get killed before they reached Bombay Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah (who who) But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby (who who, who who) Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah But what's confusing you Is just the nature of my game (woo woo, who who) Just as every cop is a criminal And all the sinners saints As heads is tails Just call me Lucifer 'Cause I'm in need of some restraint (who who, who who) So if you meet me Have some courtesy Have some sympathy, have some taste (woo woo) Use all your well-learned politesse Or I'll lay your soul to waste, mmm yeah (woo woo, woo woo) Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name, mmm yeah (who who) But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game, mmm mean it, get down (woo woo, woo woo) Woo, who Oh yeah, get on down Oh yeah Oh yeah! (woo woo) Tell me baby, what's my name Tell me honey, can ya guess my name Tell me baby, what's my name I tell you one time, you're to blame

The Glitter Band

I've already done all my Christmas shopping this year. Bought socks and Y-fronts for all my aunts. See how they fucking like it.

I've got a new idea for a TV show. It involves Chris Tarrant being kidnapped and tortured by Fern Britton. It's called Britton's Got Tarrant.

I would tell you what my girlfriend does for a living, but it's difficult to say. She sells seashells on the seashore.

Q: What's brown and hides in the attic? A: The Diarrhoea Of Anne Frank.

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