Jah Lush

Have fun on your birthday Andrew and many happy returns to you.

Unbelievable! How bad does it get?

I had to go into work early last Saturday after a night on the tiles and very little sleep and I was two hours late. I can't take the risk of doing that again because I'll be in serious trouble. The temptation to stay out late and party all night is too tempting and I really have been overdoing it lately and need to calm down. I may have to consider staying in. Perish the thought.

I have an eye infection and I've got to work early Saturday morning so I'm a bit doubtful this time round.

If you say so KK. I'll take your word for it.

How To Make A Woman Happy It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined! 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate 44. compassionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 45. give her compliments regularly 46. love shopping 47. be honest 48. be very rich 49. not stress her out 50. not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 54. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY 1. Show up naked 2. Bring food 3. Bring Beer!!!!

The Killing Moon - Echo And The Bunnymen

Good Times Bad Times - Led Zepplin

Just Looking - The Charletans

It's a fair cop guv.

People talk about irony but I can't see any ironing being done. Can you?

I'm guessing the referee and linesman didn't see the original slap.

Who Are You? - The Who

Lie lie lie lie liar you lie lie lie lie Tell me why tell me why Why d'you have to lie Should've realised that Should've told the truth Should've realised You know what I'll do You're in suspension You're a liar

What Time Is Love? KLF

Saw a very pregnant Kate Ford walking along North Cross Road yesterday afternoon.

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked OK for a 61-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter. We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double. 'What's that?' I asked 'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said. I said, 'No' - excitedly. We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was 'my lucky night'. I went back to her place. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mum, you still awake?'

OK I stand corrected on Waddle and I should have known that because I was gutted when he left Spurs and so was Lineker who thought he was going to be playing alongside him when he signed for Tottenham. Whoops! Lineker was signed from Barcelona...sheee...it. That's two then.

KalamityKel Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Don't go getting yaself excited I'm a happy > "spinster" ;-) Ha! Don't flatter yourself.

Are you kidding? The Italian version is so archaic.

Sorry to correct you David but they all played abroard after the '90 World Cup apart from Beardsley who spent an early part of his career at Vancouver Whitecaps.

yes...hippy bathday Hibbs. Have fun.

You're sticking you're tongue out again KK.

Who me?

Why? We're not in Italy are we? In English a nubile is a marriageable woman or a sexually attractive woman and celibe or a celebate is someone who doesn't have sex and I'm sure KK isn't suggesting that because some of us who might be single go without. This goes back to the old age arguement - one incidentally that I've always found ridiculous - that if a man sleeps around he's a man of the world but if a woman does the same she's a slag.