Ted Max

Oh we're open to all sorts down in funky Bellenden Village. I reckon weasel poo is spot on. It's one of those, "Who first thought of that one" ideas isn't it? "You know dear, your coffee isn't bad, but how about we try giving the beans to the weasels first, next time?"

The Dog sounds about right. I would expect the guys at Hoopers and Gowlett to keep a couple of half-decent bottles as well. Research is needed I feel. Ah well, it's dirty work... Thing about whisky is, it really is at its best drunk pre-dinner or at least when still sober. Yet I wouldn't mind betting we all tend to start on it when we've had too much wine/beer already. Late at night with taste buds destroyed. We have a night cap and then blame the good malt for the terrible hangover in the morning, not the gallons of beer that preceeded it.

Local myth has it that fountain shall not run until the last heron leaves the pond. That kind of thing?

Didn't think England were as bad as was written this morning. Owen and Fwankie had two good chances each. Dyer had another. Couple of half chances in there as well. Think Maclaren lost his way a bit with all the changes (SWP on the left, Wes, Barry etc) though, and that may be why the impression is of another pisspoor England performance. If they can slot Hargreaves and Gerrard into that midfield, and hope someone kicks Beckham in MLS so he is unavailable, they should go OK. Lack of fit and in form strikers would be the main worry, for me.

Nice one Ted, I'd completely forgotton about Oban Aye, it'll do that if you drink too much of it :)) What's the best pub round here for its whisky selection?

May I join in? I like virtually all whisky but if I had to choose: Oban is nice as a good honest drinker. A Port Ellen will give you a peppery, smoky, peaty good time. A Longrow (from Springbank on Kintyre) or Springbank's 21 year old are heavenly, special treat malts. Just enough water to release the flavour and on you go.

Good work Bald Marauder. I'll certainly check them out when they open, and I bet the place will be a success, although I'm not counting my Duck embryos before they hatch.

Have you seen the coffins in the Regeneration Office window, then Bob? Cute joke from the artist I thought.

One of the targets is not even a councillor. One person has no confirmed links to any terrorist organisation and is nt being investgated by the police. Another has a perfectly legal occupation. Fair enough there is one drink driver. But overall that's a pathetic effort for "baddest council". Wouldn't even get a nib in Private Eye's Rotten Boroughs.

Rix? Not many tears shed for the man on Gorgie Road. I'd have said it was Burley who really started them playing and genuinely threatening the Old Firm duopoly. But yes, the hiring and immediate firing of Rix didn't help. Gretna is a bit of a soap opera isn't it? Their "off work through stress" manager turned up (with attendant media) before the game trying to get access to the ground. Bent/ Berbatov/ Defoe/ Keane. Who starts?

Local "faces" have appeared in the last two Empire's Children series on C4. I'd wager Adrian Lester was cringing (a lot) less watching his programme last night than Jenny Eclair was during hers last week.

Tough on the Jambo fans, who have had to put up with all sorts of clownery (ten managers since 2004) but for the club itself, I think a Lithuanian exit is required and bad results (short of relegation) might be the best way of achieving that. I know there are a lot of Scots here. We all meet up in Le Chardon on the full moon and abuse each other half-heartedly about our religious backgrounds. Maybe you've been there on occasion yourself, what with the use of the fitba word? Champions League finish for Spurs and a domestic/ Euro cup? That seems to be the typical 'Lane benchmark at the moment, which is a sign of how much you've improved. Keeping Berbatov helps doesn't it? But even more striker rotation with the Bent acquisition will test Jol. I'd like to see Hibs finish "best of the rest" but I think with all the best players having ben sold and Johnny Collins' "pass it out of defence and look pretty at all costs" football we'll probably ship too many points. As for Stevie Mac and The England. I'd like to see them qualifym to be honest, and I think they will. I think Scotland will find the return games versus Italy and France too hard, and will just miss out.

For many (although relatively few in ED, I admit) the football season has already started. Hearts 0: Hibs 1 Awa' the Hibees.

You point out you have no 'sweatshop bargains' - does this mean you will be selling overpriced goods for yummies and their offspring? Where do other people go to buy clothing? Louisa, it's a shop that reckons it has located its target market and is going to try and sell clothes to it. Where "other people" buy their clothes really can be no concern of White Stuff. It's not as if they've knocked a local cheap clothing outlet (actual or potential) out of the market, is it? Local people who can neither afford nor want to buy White Stuff, er, stuff will either (if there are sufficient numbers of them) get their own shop(s), or continue to shop elsewhere. I haven't seen too many naked people wandering down Lordship Lane of late, so presumably we are all managing to clothe ourselves well enough as it is. PS Lee Cooper, say hi to Levi Strauss for me when you get the chance.

It seems you and your scorpion are now famous. There was a NIB about you and your pet scorpion in today's Metro. How did they pick up on it? I am thinking perhaps you have been in the SLP already and they lifted it from there...

Yep, Lincoln's Inn on the increasingly fashionable, desirable and select Maxted Road is pretty good. Interesting that the hairdresser two doors down also always looks shut. Saving on the leccy I guess. I've been lucky to live close to some great corner shops in this area as well. George and Lily on Pellatt Road/CPR corner were fantastic. There's a little shop on Maxted Road that is fab as well. I think these places are at least as important to local cohesion as the bigger name places. And they're great sources of gossip too.

They'll all be in SE22. Still doesn't make them East Dulwich.

Right you are. Well, in that case, if you or anyone you know is looking for a bit of work in a tea-to-booze-to-chandeliers style place, now is the time to apply. Those with a yen for a position in poncey coffee shop will, it seems, have to wait a little longer.

I think we are, yes. My memory is now a bit hazy as to my exact whereabouts yesterday. The "poncey new coffee shop" and the "tea n chandeliers" ventures are two distinct entities, are they?

They are advertising for waiting staff in the window of a new coffee shop currently being kitted out on Lordship Lane. I was tempted to apply to get the undercover scoop, but couldn't be bothered. I did peek inside though. It looked exactly like .... a new coffee shop. Must be very near to opening now.

Clarks Factory Shop it is indeed. Not at all like the place on LL. You're slipping Louisa.

They must have foreseen the arrival of the Sea Cow, and the closure of the police stables, and got out while they still could.

Typical materialist!

Only a few shops along Grove Vale attract the black community into the area, and those waiting for buses near the DKH Estate You might want to rethink that sentence. It might be that you could be interpreted as suggesting that black people might only be attracted by Rice n Peas and the odd barber - rather than nice bars and restaurants like everyone else. EDIT: Not to say Rice n Peas isn't nice - many's the time it's saved my bacon as I've swayed off a late train from LB.

The man currently to be seen playing Lepidus in Rome. Ronan Vibert is the man's name.