Jump to content

Ted Max

Member
  • Posts

    2,779
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Ted Max

  1. Try adding some rice.
  2. Uncanny, isn't it? http://i45.tinypic.com/m96m4o.jpg
  3. As if we'd ever stoop so low.
  4. Feeling snubbed, Mick? I was only blowing a little smoke up your bellend. 1st Man: I'm redecorating a few of my friends' houses in upper East Dulwich. 2nd Man: Dunstans? 1st Man: Not yet, I'm still finishing Dave's.
  5. Next meeting of the East Dulwich SNUB campaign?
  6. Forfucksake Mick, sort it out. It's not the arseing Limerick thread where you can write any old horsewank and expect to get away with it. Catch yourself on, as Jim Macdonald used to say.
  7. 1st Man - I lost my hat round that way the other day. 2nd Man - Glengarry? 1st Man - No, it was a trilby.
  8. That picture's reminded me to pick up some Preparation H for poor Mr Grewcock next door.
  9. A brother and sister gather speed and slither down the icy path hand in hand. "We've built a snowman at home," the girl says. "You could come and see it." Her father takes a long run-up and flings himself down the same impromptu slide. "You'll have to send me a picture," he says.
  10. I have always received a warm response from anyone who has ever had a mouthful of my treacle sponge. You are the best, Louisa.
  11. Sounds great, but I was alluding to one of my favourite books, by Michael Frayn. Are we on the same wavelength here?
  12. Justice is to be found pissing it all away up against a wall of human souls, Hona, along with Peace, Hope, and Fraternity. Although the Black Eyed Peas are still engaged in locating the whereabouts of the Love, so there may be some good news from those parts.
  13. when I first started working in what was then termed "Fleet Street" many moons ago Was it like "Towards the end of the morning", Jah? Please say so.
  14. Christians, awake, salute the happy morn Whereon the saviour of the world was born. Like, it's not enough to just lie asleep and be saved? I've been on it for a fortnight solid by Christmas morn, I needs my sleep. And I ain't saluting no Saviour, sorry, but that's just how I am. I didn't arks to be saved.
  15. Explains the rat face.
  16. You forgot Phalaborwa.
  17. I think Brendan must have moved to England for the climate.
  18. I never lock anything. I like to leave it all up to karma. I am currently living in my shed, and have to ask the squatters for permission to visit my own lavatory. Hugs.
  19. The non-linear and fragmented nature of modern media consumption of sport means that the crowning of national sporting heroes is more problematical, and arguably less vital, than in previous erazzzzz etc
  20. Where are you considering moving to, championcat?
  21. Murray has been dumped for spending too much time on this: http://www.myps3.com.au/img/news/COD--Modern-Warfare-2-gets-dated-1.jpg And not enough time on this: http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/2009/images/09/08/kim-sears.jpg
  22. From the street below it looks like a baby elephant is peeking out the window.
  23. An initial whiff of wood shavings with a lingering suggestion of recently fired gunpowder.
  24. Top note of fresh perspiration. A base note of yesterday's pipe tobacco. That sort of thing?
  25. Top the bottles up with a little water and get the Big Fiver to flog them from a cardboard box on Oxford Street. Either that or play department stores: panel your face in make up and put a massive blow heater above the inside of your front door. Move your dressing table to the hall and put a white uniform on. Then every time someone comes to visit offer them a free sample in a tone that combines contempt, boredom and aggression.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...