Brendan

This just in: Design Agency Executive Buys Porsche with Commission from Lucrative Deal Providing Recession Themed Graphics for Public Broadcaster.

Starbucks is indeed wicked. Never trust anyone from Seattle. They have a needle there. It?s from space. That?s how the aliens get into their brains.

VeryBerryCherry Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a > dyslexic, and an agnostic? > Someone who sits up all night wondering if there > really is a dog. What happens when you mix a considerable amount of alcohol with Dulwich Village? You wake up in the morning wondering if you?re still in the dog.

Chip sandwich and a pint of London Pride. Laus Deo!

On that point BB. Why do the English pronounce the name Candice, Candeeeeeeeeeese?

Playing things in B. It feels awkward and it hurts my fingers and I?m convinced people only do it to show off and/or annoy me.

Knock knock who's there! Umm... Who? Banana! (giggle) Banana who? Knock knock who's there? Who? Banana! (more giggling) Banana who? Knock knock who's there? Who? Orange! (even more giggling) Orange who? (giggling obscures words) Banana! (pause) you say "knock knock!" Okay. Knock-knock, who's there? Who? (unable to think of a single knock-knock joke) Umm... Banana? No! How about tomato? Tomato. No! How about motorcycle? Motorcycle. (immoderate giggling) How about motorcycle, indeed.

Wibble.

The Germanic Hel is a similarly depicted place to the Greek Hades. This is one of the many pointers that suggest a common proto Indo-European religion.

Why is a duck? Because it has one leg the same and its head bangs together as it walks.

The back beat is one of the defining characteristics of rock and/or roll.

An Inside 72 and the Drum sort of mixed togetherish sort of placeish that serves pizza.

Sounds like a bunch of liberal codswallop to me. Who taught you, communist?

That wasn?t the matron it was Jenkins. It was homework for P.T class. Or was it R.I? I forget.

I didn?t ?tuck?er? no matter what it says on the lavatory wall.

I think you will find it is ?pile-on? old chap. A bundle is the collection of cricket whites, sticky handkerchiefs, grass stained plus-fours and soiled dinner shirts that you hand over to the house charlady to have cleaned, starched and spiffy by morning, don?t-cha-know.

Matches aren?t pointy. You?re thinking of toothpick there.

If you put a bowl of beer in the garden they all crawl into it and drown.

Yeah but, no but, yeah but anyway the weather is better in SE22 and you only ever have to walk downhill an something.

Irishmen, all they do is drnk and gamble.

I used to love working behind the bar too. And I was fucking good at it if I do say so myself. And I do. I don?t know if I could still manage the 18 hour shifts though. All too often ththough barfolk seem to be like brainless droids ticking through a procedure that they were taught. As far as I can make out it is made up of the following 15 steps. 1. Ask customer what they want. 2. Walk off when they are halfway through the order and make the first drink. 3. Come back and re-ask what the rest of the order is 4. Painstakingly make it doing only one thing at a time 5. Ask if there is anything else 6. Go and make the drink you forgot and fix the one you messed up 7. Ask if there is anything else 8. Ring the drinks up 9. Call the other bar person over to ask them about something on the till 10. Ring the rest of the drinks up 11. Go back to the wrong customer 12. Realise your mistake and tell the correct customer how much it is 13. Go back to the till and work it all out electronically 14. Put the change into a suitable puddle of something sticky on the bar 15. Look flustered Problem I think with a lot of bar staff is that they don?t have an intuitive sense of how people drink. They should be made to go out and drink properly themselves for at least a year before they?re allowed behind a bar.

DJs being treated like they?re musicians. You?re just playing someone else?s songs ffs put it away.

pah that's a small one. Top trick is to kick them into a swimming pool and watch how they sink and then walk along the bottom unperturbed by the fact that they're underwater. Waking up with one walking across your bare chest, now that?s a rare treat. Or perhaps the old chestnut of putting a bare foot into and slipper that one has decided to have a little kip in. But they?ll eat the slugs mind.

Do you?

What do you mean you cant?