What is your favourite expression?

[HonaloochieB]

"Cuntbollocks"

Just typing it brings a smile to my old chops.

[Jah Lush]

My mate Kate The State (Ciderwoman to you) once came up with the expression Arsewank to describe someone she wasn't particularly keen on. I think it was one of her ex-boyfriends. She said: "He's a f**king arsewank."

[Moos]

how about expressions that don't make sense?

"Cheap at half the price"

never got that one. It might well be cheap at half the price, but at the full price it's twice as much as it would be if it were cheap....

[mockney piers]

I only recently got "you can't have your cake and eat it"

I always thought, yes you can. You have your cake, and then you eat it. Then had one of those head slapping moments ...oooooh at the same time!!!! Doh!!!

[Moos]

Yeah, I think there's a 'too' in the original expression that eventually fell off the end.

[citizenED]

Same as you Mockney. I always loved that saying but then thought, oh yes you can. I understood that the expression got turned round. ie it was "You can't eat your cake and have it". Much better.

[Guest]

After three margaritas and a bottle of wine her head was bobbing ... 'like a balloon on a stick'.

[bignumber5]

To denote a poor level of accuracy - "couldn't hit a bulls arse with a cannon"

[Moos]

Witheringly to denote incompetence:

Couldn't run a bath

[Keef]

bignumber5 Wrote:

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> To denote a poor level of accuracy - "couldn't hit

> a bulls arse with a cannon"

Iused to have a FIFA Wold Cup game for the 98 cup, and it had John Motson saying "this fella couldn't hit a cow's backside with a banjo" which always made me smile >:D<

[DaveR]

bignumber5 Wrote:

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> To denote a poor level of accuracy - "couldn't hit

> a bulls arse with a cannon"

Iused to have a FIFA Wold Cup game for the 98 cup, and it had John Motson saying "this fella couldn't hit a cow's backside with a banjo" which always made me smile

Also, "couldn't find their own backside in a dark room"

[HonaloochieB]

Moos Wrote:

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> how about expressions that don't make sense?

>

> "Cheap at half the price"

>

> never got that one. It might well be cheap at

> half the price, but at the full price it's twice

> as much as it would be if it were cheap....

It only doesn't make sense because it's constantly used wrongly (I blame radio phone in shows) it should be and always was in my day "Cheap at twice the price"

Makes more sense now, right?

[TillieTrotter]

"She/he is so far up their own arse they can't tell if it's daylight"

[surfbobby]

Apologies if this is in any way tone lowering but it certainly made me laugh. When I asked a friend how his date went he replied with "I gave her a face like a painters radio"

[Jah Lush]

About as much use as one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.

[Jah Lush]

And because I like to lower the tone.

She had a c**t like a ripped out fireplace.

[wee quinnie]

Jah Lush Wrote:

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> And because I like to lower the tone.

>

> She had a c**t like a ripped out fireplace.

You like this so much that you mentioned this to us already, back on page 2 (Aug 07), of this very thread!!;-)

[Jah Lush]

I am so sorry Wee Quinnie my memory is not what it was. I'm afraid premature senility is setting in.

[Brendan]

Well if we?re lowering the tone a similar expression could be;

like a badly packed kebab.

[wee quinnie]

You don't have to apologise to me - i have heard far worse, being a convent girl. (The nuns could be very potty mouthed when riled)

[spadetownboy]

heskeyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

[tinagwee]

"wind your neck in", is one I like. If someone is giving out for no good reason then say that to them

I also like " ye can't beat it with a big stick" which is an extrapolation of you can't beat it, but us norn irish do like to add a bit of violence to any expression heheh

[2degreesfrommadness]

On blunt knives, my mum used to explain " you could ride bare-arsed to London on this"

other family faves inc

"its the mutts nuts"

"were you born a wanker or did u train?"

" couldn't organise a gang-bang in a brothel"

"dingbat"

[bignumber5]

Brendan Wrote:

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> Well if we?re lowering the tone a similar

> expression could be;

>

> like a badly packed kebab.

On a similar theme, She bangs like a shithouse door...

[SteveT]

you could smash coal on her face