Jump to content

Recommended Posts

These are just some of the thing I have heard myself saying to my two year old recently....



"Stop licking me"


"NO we don't draw on our tummies"


"NO we don't draw on the floor!"


"NO WE DON"T PAINT ON THE WALLS" (ok this one was shouted)


"No don't eat that it's been stuck there for over a....oh well, never mind, I'm sure it's ok"


"No mummy didn't do a 'poo poo'. It was a fart. But thanks for telling everyone."


"baby doesn't want to eat your breadsticks."


"Stop walking on the table"


"No you DON'T poo on the floor"


"Do not pick it up"


"Give it to daddy"


"Why are you carrying around a tea cup with batteries in?"


"Why is there sand in the oven?"


"No you cannot stroke the bumble bee"


"Take the slug out of your mouth"


"GET OFF my tomatoes"


"Do not tip that bowl over your head.....Do not eat those out of your hair...Do not wipe that into your face"


"Please don't sit on the baby. She doesn't like it"


What have you been saying recently?!?!

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/12533-out-of-the-mouths-of-parents/
Share on other sites

My son is a crawling and mastering walking TERROR. So far today already we've had:


'NO, hands OUT of the fireplace' (soot, ick)

'NO NO NO, DO NOT EAT THE SOIL'

'Hands out of the poopy nappy, please'

'Please don't lick the TV, sweetie...'


His favourite one is to eat his porridge, nosedive at me for a breastfeed and then blow porridgy rasberries on my top, if I'm not quick enough about getting 'the goods' out.

"don't lick the pavement" and "don't lick the cat's bottom" are two things I never thought I'd have to say, along with such handed-down-the-generational classics as "Are you listening?" (in self-righteous tone), "what did I just tell you?" (ditto), and the one I try to stay away from but sometimes pops out - especially because we're in the WHY phase - "Because I said so".


Ho hum.

"NO, don't smack the flatscreen TV with your toy"

"NO, don't smack nan nan"

"NO, don't smack mummy"

"NO, don't smack your cousins"

"NO, stop biting"

"NO, no biting the wires"

"NO, no grabbing the shower cord"

"NO, don't pull the curtain"

"NO, don't lunge off the bed, feet first"

"NO, don't put that in the toilet"


All I keep saying is "NO" and all he does is laugh at me. I am bewildered that all my charges were SO much better behaved than my little cheeky monkey.

The worst conversation today (with nearly 2 year old daughter):


Me: Why is your nappy off?


Her: Wanna poo...


Me: Ok, lets go to the potty


Her: No, DUNNA poo


Me: WHERE??! (bearing im mind she is not yet potty trained)


Her: Uppydairs (upstairs)


Me: Frantic searching and sniffing round upstairs bedrooms/bathrooms. I finally found said log in......the washing basket in her brother's bedroom (quite handily if you come to think about it). Contemplated whether I could just chuck it in the washer but decided removal was best option.


My life is officially GRIM. Where did the glamorous me go?

"It's 3 in the morning, please stop pulling my hair"

"It's 3.30 in the morning and mummy and daddy have to work tomorrow please play quietly over there if you must play"

"It's nearly 4am, why are you still death bombing me?"

"Please go to sleep sweetheart, mummy can't play right now"

"Oh My Goodness how are you still awake and Happy????"

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • A shout out for Mark, owner of Pure Plumbers. 07970 971510 They're well established in the Sevenoaks area, but have recently started doing more work in SE London.  Did some v quick and efficient bathroom and boiler fixes for me; have also seen some of the bathrooms he's built, which have a nice attention to detail. Jessica    
    • Totally agree regarding not supporting chains. Gail’s was fine but last time I went in Feb this year, actually walked out Fayetteville looking at menu and waiting 15 minutes to even get glass of water and not busy at all. Staff gone down hill - sooner it goes the better… Always prefer to support non chains - so many lovely places with good food to choose from with pleasant staff who know about customer service and sadly, non English which says a lot for our culture, pubs are also becoming abit of a hit and miss affair but maybe just unlucky. At the end of the day all about the chef. Still abit unclear where new place is located - is it down the road from Goose Green where parade of shops are before Peckham Rye?  
    • Surely only where the local businesses offer clear advantages, otherwise you are rewarding what should be failure. I want to be served by a better bakery than Gail's, not a worse but local independent one. Certainly give a local independent some time to get the offer right, but don't buy goods which are worse and or more expensive just because the outlet isn't a chain. 
    • Let’s just boycott all chains in favour of local businesses.  Places like Gail’s popping up everywhere has a very damaging impact on small businesses. It’s just the same as the new empanadas place but on a bigger scale. I’ll say it a million times more, we hold the power with our choices. Let’s use our power to look after ourselves and our environment (which includes small local family businesses). And yes, I also love Chacarero.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...