Paranoid?

[legalbeagle]

Just had a very very loud knock at my door. Which immediately put me on edge because I have a perfectly useable doorbell, and it was very loud. So I peeked out of the curtains to the front door, where there was a very large cross looking bloke. I still felt uneasy so I shouted "Can I help you?" through the door. He told me, rather crossly, that he was looking for his sister, to go to her christmas party, and did I know where she lived. I said I didn't know her. He seemed annoyed and described her a bit more and said someone must know her because she lived around my road so I must have seen her. He repeated that someone must know her and I repeated that I didn't. He left crossly.

Am I being paranoid or is this a bit, er, dodgy? I REALLY didn't want to open the door. Why did he bang so loudly and not ring the bell? Why doesn't he know where his sister lives? Especially if he's going to her party? I don't feel like I can call the police because he hasn't done anything, but I feel very glad I didn't open the door and I sincerely hope he doesn't do anything to any of my lovely neighbours......

BUT don't want to be paranoid person who reads one thread about intruders and is convinced the whole of London is a war zone........

[DJKillaQueen]

Seems odd...not only that he doesn't know where his sister lives (or have a tel number he can call her on to find out)but also that he'd be going to her party at 6pm on a Tuesday evening! Hopefully he was just genuinely lost.

[The Minkey]

Maybe he forgot to take his medication?

[SeanMacGabhann]

come on - his sister? and he doesn't know where she lives? or have a number to ring her? how would you know who his sister was? If you were in his position knocking on a stranger's door you wouldn't have been angry would you - you'd have been really sorry to disturb someone

Damn straight you shouldn't have opened the door

[legalbeagle]

Well to be fair he did tell me her full name and describe her, well, he said she had dreadlocks, which is sort of a description I suppose. But still, it does seem very strange.

[giggirl]

You're not paranoid LegalB - I don't open my door at night if I'm on my own.

[SeanMacGabhann]

the description and name could have been anything if it's going to make you think fair enough and open the door

does the name check out on 192.com

if someone I KNOW is angry and banging on my door they can feck off - but a stranger doing the same.... ?

[womanofdulwich]

is there a womans refuge any where near you?

[PeckhamRose]

Oh nice call WomanOfDulwich. That might have been it.

[legalbeagle]

Oh good lord. Now I'm really glad I didn't open the door. Cos there is.

[jctg]

Sounds like something from a film.

[Ladymuck]

I don't think you are paranoid one iota. I regularly speak to strangers through a teeny gap whilst the security chain remains fastened to the door.

As to why he used the knocker instead of the bell, we have a knocker (no bell), and people often tap (or bang) on the glass panels. So make of that what you will.

I'm glad you didn't open the door.

[Simonet]

You definitely did the right thing.

I really wish that I was a bigger Guy as I would have great fun when that is allied to my sense of the ridiculous.

I would have gone into a counter rant asking him where my errant brother was who was late for the Tea that I have made him.

When I'm asked for money in the street I often ( but not always) reply "I was just about to ask you M8!)...LOL

[DJKillaQueen]

I never open the door unless I know the person or it's postman or plumber I'm expecting or something. I use the spy hole and ask who it is through the door so you are not alone in that LB. Sensible for any woman to do that I think.

[legalbeagle]

Thanks all. Thinking about it I'm afraid he was probably looking for someone at the refuge that is quite near me. I feel very sad for whoever that person is and sincerely hope he doesn't find her - he was very well built and not very charming. And now I think about it more carefully he said that his sister lived "round here" rather than specifically naming my road. He gave her full name but I can only remember the first name so can't check out 192.com.

If I DO see the woman fitting that description (and I haven't so far) I wonder should I tell her? Or should I go and tell the refuge that he's lurking about looking for her? He's really not a million miles away from her if this theory is correct.....

[DJKillaQueen]

If you have a first name then definitely tell the refuge.....and if she lives there, a description of him might turn out to be that of the violent husband or boyfriend (she's in the refuge because of) rather than a brother. I think it would be useful for them to know that he's lurking around and it won't take him too long to find the refuge if that is the case.

Maybe that's what this is all about after all. Thank goodness you didn't open the door.

[legalbeagle]

I have no doubt he wasn't her brother at all but is the person she's escaped from IF this theory is correct. But I don't want to poke my nose in either.

Tricky.

[sophiesofa]

I think popping into the refuge is a good idea. They can decide if they want to tell the woman (if she is a resident there).

[DJKillaQueen]

It is tricky but if he is lurking around the area it impacts on whether it's safe for her to go out or not too. There may well also be an injuction on him not to look for her. There's no harm in letting those that run the refuge know (without getting too involved) I think.

[Tarot]

Everyone should be careful ,even the police put a leaflet in our door saying ,"Dont open your door unless someone has

made a prior appointment.

Random people knocking on doors asking for people is one of the ploys they use to engage you in conversation,before

they shove you around to get in your property.

Beware of loud aggressive people banging on your door. Dont open it .Ignore them.

There was a thread a couple of weeks back where this happened to some chap.

[pk]

legalbeagle Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I have no doubt he wasn't her brother at all but

> is the person she's escaped from IF this theory is

> correct.

but you've no reason to have no doubt - as you say you don't even know whether the theory's correct at all but you're still considering going up to women with dreadlocks to say that some nutter's looking for them when he may or may not be a nutter and he may or may not be looking for a women with dreadlocks? - it's nonsense

as tarot pointed out it's just as (if not more) likely that he wanted to steal from you

[legalbeagle]

Not that simple though is it pk. If he IS looking for someone at the refuge then it may not be safe for her to even go out because he has got very close to finding her. But I've already said, I don't really know what to do. So it isn't nonsense, it's trying to do the right community-minded thing. How sad it would be if I'm right and he does find her and do her harm.

And I'm not keen on the Daily Mail tone to be honest - I not "going up to women with dreadlocks to say that some nutter's looking for them". I'm wondering whether to give the refuge this information in case it is helpful.

[ImpetuousVrouw]

I hope you do tell them quickly just incase he is an abusive ex and manages to get hold of her. It would be awful if you found out on the news that someone matching his description hacked his ex-wife to death after tracking her down at a refuge.

[Huguenot]

I can't see any down side to telling the refuge, particularly if you raise your doubts with them?

[legalbeagle]

I think I'm inclined to tell them the story and let them decide what, if anything, to do about it. I'm no expert, but they are, so I guess they'll know best what to do.