Quiet room...

[Kathryn]

Just helping DMs au pair finish up plumpling the cushions. Looks around contentadly. Thinks back to the first tiptoes that entered the room. Maybe Ill just curl up on the chez long in the corner and enjoy for a while.

[Ant]

*passes through carrying bottle of recently-warmed milk*

*looks somewhat tired*

[dulwichmum]

Ana (au pair) fineally finishes damp dusting, looks around and scrapes long blonde hair back in elastic band. Mutters Latvian swear words under breath but smiles when thinks of extra ?4.20 in weekly pay packet. Picks up mop and Dyson and trundles out the door.

[shambles]

*wanders in clutching head seeking a fizzy drink* *anything will do anything* *begs DM for help - surely there must be something remedial in that big handbag?*

*lies down and waits for help*

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Staggers in looking grey*

*Spots Shambles and nods, attemting to communicate empathy and sympathy - am currently unable to speak*

*Collapses into fave chair, hoping that DM wil use her medical skills the make the pain go away*

*A thought rises through the mists - "Where did Shambles disappear too last night?" one minute there and one minute gone and didnt say Goodbye - hmmm*

*Where's my Playboy?! I need something to read on the loo*

[Ant]

*breezes in fresh from trip with oldest daughter down north cross road (daughter now safely stowed away under mother's care*

*starts frying things, grilling things, scrambling things, pouring and mixing things, toasting things*

*after a time, places fry-ups (fries up?) on table along with prarie oysters and bloody marys etc.*

[dulwichmum]

Arrives with enormous bottle of freshly squeezed orange juice, and dispenses glass of same to poor Ms Shambles and Mr Mikewbate. Rummages in enormous handbag and takes out paracetamol and dispenses same to last nights casualties. Opens windows and draws curtains. Sits down in fav. armchair. Looks around for favourite dog...

[Keef]

*Crawls in, takes a glass of orange juice and smiles at Dulwichmum (although this probably appears like more of a grimace). Nods to Ant, Mike, and Shambles. Considers fry up, but can't handle thinking. Washes down headache tablets with orange juice. lays on floor and tries to smother self with bean bag!*

[dulwichmum]

Pulls fluffy Hungarian goose down pillow out from enormous handbag. Walks over to Mr Keef and places it carefully under his poor head. Returns to huge handbag. Drags enormous Hungarian goose down duvet out of handbag and puts it over Mr Keef. Thinks to self - that enormous Mulberry bag was worth the stacks of cash I (or rather James) paid for it!

[bagpuss78]

*Sneaks in after hearing Keef thinking of Fry up*

*Lies down on floor*

*hopes Keef will make fry up for all, No beans please extra mushrooms*

[Ant]

*returns, in the grip of a hangover that snuck up like a b*st*rd while he wassn't looking*

*twitches slightly*

[dulwichmum]

Pulls another two duvets from enormous handbag for Ant and Bagpuss 78. Passes between groaning bodies with glasses of fresh orange juice and small candle.

Feels selfless, caring and ladylike - similar to Florence Nightingale. Decides to buy a corset and checks watch to see if Peter Jones on Sloane Square is still open.

Texts au pair with measurements and sends her straight to Rigby and Peller.

[bagpuss78]

*Wakes self up with loud snore, smiles, a little embarrassed at Dulwichmum. rolls over snuggles up in newly delivered duvet, spot on DM! goes back to sleep*

[dulwichmum]

Can I get anyone some coffee or perhaps some nice soup? You poor darlings! I shall have Ana boil up a chicken carcas and celery for stock.

[Keef]

*Walks in mumbling something about 2 nights in a row. Finds duvet and pillow so generously lent by Dulwichmum, curls up in corner with the shakes*

[bagpuss78]

*Crawls in, gives knowing and understanding look to keef*

*Resumes yesterdays position, has slight feeling of De ja Vu*

*Decides never to drink again.....ever!*

[dulwichmum]

Walks purposefully into room carrying large bottle of Fabreze followed by Eastern European au pair dragging vacuum cleaner. Pushes curtains open, opens windows to allow cool spring breeze to fill room. Inhabitants run from room like vampires fleeing from light. Ana whacks vacuum into fourth gear and the silence is broken.

Newspapers rustle, duvets are confiscated and folded into enormous handbag. The smell of feet and halitosis are banished. Struggles to take an enormous eight wicked Diptyque 'Figuier' scented candle from handbag, finds small box of Claridges matches in side pocket of handbag and lights said candle. Recycling box outside lounge is stacked high with old copies of Razzle from underneath Mr Mikewbates chair. James arrives with tray of Starbucks Latte and leaves quickly.

Sits down and admires nail polish.

[shambles]

*gently opens door and checks that the room is empty*

*phew - not a soul in sight*

*marvels at how clean and fresh it is following weekend of sorry bodies having lain around for hours in a sordid state*

*leaves bunch of simple yet beautiful spring flowers for DM to say thank you for being so kind on behalf of the forum casualties*

*shuts door*

*rushes back in as forgot to leave bottle of chilled sancerre for DM which she deserves to enjoy in peace*

[mockney piers]

*physically flinches at sheer cleanliness and tidiness of room*

*puts a few applewood logs on the fireplace and adroitly fires them up*

*liberally spreads several sunday papers around self, finds observer crossword and pen and watches the snowstorm clouds gather outside*

[Keef]

*Wanders in feeling very Mondayish*

*Puts home-made Thank you card and "special" bottle on aubergine velvet armchair for Dulwichmum*

*Muses as to how silly it is to predict the weather a week in advance, and reminds self to laugh at Crystal upon next meeting*

*Makes Cream Soda from the soda-stream sits on bean bag, waves to Piers, starts reading Spiderman comics, as that is intellectual level that brain will allow today* B)

[dulwichmum]

Slopes sadly into room, notices lovely gifts and perks up immediately. Smiles at chums and sits in favourite chair. Breathes deeply...

[Huguenot]

*Peers nervously around door, wondering if anyone's going to have a sense of humour failure today...*

[dulwichmum]

Opens both wonderful bottles of wine. Puts a straw in each, hands one to Mr Huguenot. Thinks to self, if I'm going to break my Lenten alcohol abstinence - I'll do it properly...

[mockney piers]

*comes back in after bracing walk outside, eyes glasses of wine gleefully*

*realises still has leprechaun outfit on from saturday, doh, dashes out to changing room*

...

*enters in smoking jacket, pantaloons and curly slippers, gives huguenot encouraging ruffle*

*offers dulwichmum reassuring hug*

[Keef]

*Hopes DM is okay, she's looking a bit down*

*Offers Cream soda*