Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Passes urgent note to Ms Polly Dorner:


"Never buy any other wedding magazine - only Martha Stewart Weddings from WH Smith in Victoria - you will see why when you buy it, please????"


Smiles to self as remembers organising great roller coaster of a wedding extravaganza in only six months.


Sobers up suddenly at thought of organising a fabulous party...

*comes in to relax after being annoyed by the forum falling over*

*walks behind folded japanese screen, walks out wearing orange double-breasted terrycloth bathrobe similar to the one Steve McQueen was wearing in The Thomas Crown Affair on TV last night*

*picks up a glass of Polly's wine, nods in appreciation and slides into filled hot tub with added relaxing bath oils*

Steps out from behind folded Japanese screen wearing white Calvin Klein Bikini and red nail polish.


Removes large white rimmed Stella McCartney sunglasses and places on card table next to chums.


Runs fingers through long glossy (currently dark and certainly never a hint of red) hair.


Smiles and accepts cold glass of iced water from Ana the au pair, slides into hot tub in demure manner.


Sighs and breaths aroma of relaxing bath oils deeply.

*emerges from a point in time-space with a pop and resumes customary bodily proportions*

*discovers own right hand to be occupied by something*

*invesigates further and is relieved to find it is a chilled glass of white wine*

*investigates further*

*finds said investigation pleasant and relaxing*

*continues*

*hears the schoolboy-like giggling in the background and guesses it's Keef sniggering about DM entering the hottub in her bikini*

*smiles as he remembers his sunglasses are really dark and allows eyes to look where ever they want without being caught*

*smiles to DM and hands her a glass of Polly's finest whilst half expecting Keef to dive-bomb into the tub*

Wafts into lounge, realises that the pads from new Cleo facial exercising machine are still stuck to face, rushes behind Japanese screen.


Decides as no-one seems to be here yet, to plug in and give self a further 'lift'.


Hopes no-one is curious of buzzing sound behind screen.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • It's Christmas. People are sending presents they've left to almost the last minute,  and returning stuff they've bought online for presents and then  regretted. That's on top of all the usual transactions. The Post Office only has a max of four people on the counter, if you include the one nearest the street. They can't suddenly magic up more space! I imagine going when they open would be the quietest time, but what would I know?
    • Post Office this time of year…I’ve seen shorter queues for Hyperia (new Thorpe Park ride 🤣) Christmas may have been and gone by the time I get to front of queue but wish me luck. Day 3 off tryin! What’s goin on?!
    • Yes Aroma Lab is brilliant. They also work with an app called Paace which lets you save money on your coffee just by getting your steps in! I got a flat white there for £1.50!
    • Hello  I think I have what you are looking for
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...