Jump to content

Strange man caught doing a number two on our front doorstep this morning


Recommended Posts

Just wondered if you were anywhere near the Goose Green end of East Dulwich. I saw a man hunkered down producing a turd on the grassy area by the mural, flanking the playground. It was so odd and so public, that I just averted my eyes and carried on. I'd forgotten all about it until this latest tale of the turd.


Obviously, being so near the mural, he was a performance artiste. It was a clever and witty comment on modern art in general. You really should have stopped and applauded or, at the least, scratched your chin while saying "hmmmmm, deep".

Hello everyone,


I am also a 1st timer here, this is the 1st ED issue i've read + i think I have a story Ms Smalls might like 2 hear!!


Last year when I was working in a pub in Nunhead, 1 of my colleagues arrived 2 work extremely ditressed! Reason being, the night before she'd been walking her dog through Peckham Rye Park and spotted a man about 50 yards in front of her squatting down and looking her way...


As she got closer she realised that this man was not only having a fat poo but smiling at her whilst he did so... She (not literally) shit her self, grabbed her dog, swore at him and run home.


That night she reported it to the police but strangely whilst walking her dog the next morning, she spoke 2 her other dog walking friends in P.Rye park and not only found someone else who'd had the same experience but who'd also heard of others that had seen him too... Ha Ha!!


Vile but hilarious!! They reffered to him as the Peckham Rye Pooer... Brilliant!!!


Doesn't sound like Ms Smalls's Pooer as he was apparently not at all apolegetic, in contrast looked like he was having a great time, but might possibly be the same Pooer that alba has seen...


Perhaps the Peckham Rye Pooer is branching out?!


Thought u all might like to know.


x

Maybe the Peckham Rye pooer was the same person who relieved himself on our office doorstep on Monday morning - no-one was caught in the act but a steaming pile was deposited sometime between 9 - 9.30 am - he chose a pretty public spot because we are right on Rye Lane not hidden round a corner!
I admit it does sound funny but am I alone in the fact that if I caught someone taking a shit on my doorstep in broad daylight I would seriously loose my temper which would also register with me if I were about to do the same to someone else. And the fact he actually wiped his arse after being caught is unbelievable. Did he have the look that he was perhaps care in the community Ms Smalls, if he was some little burberry clad pikey I'd have given him slap.

Louisa Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> When you need to go, you need to go, give the poor

> chap a break. >

> Louisa.

.....Tru Say Mi Sistren! Seen!

p.s.Wa Gwarn? My Man is almost certainly a genuine salt-of-the-earth Working Class Geezer just keeping it real!

Louisa Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> When you need to go, you need to go, give the poor

> chap a break.

>

> Louisa.



Ahh, how sweet. Well if the poor chap is reading this ,perhaps, with such a warm welcome he may turn up on your threshold. At least he will get a cup of tea and a kit kat.

Louisa are you on some kind of mind altering drug today? I hope you're being sarcastic in regard to those in a hurry or am I wrong in thinking I'd be welcome to break into your house tonight and lay a cable on your living room floor. Don't tempt me.

Tony whats all this about giving him a 'finger'. I don't mean to be patronising but if you stick your finger up there you'll be in serious danger or ringing his back door bell. And making contact with an already excited mans prostate will mean you'll have a completely different mess on your hands, sorry front step.

bigbadwolf Wrote:

Tony whats all this about giving him a 'finger'.. if you stick your

> finger up there you'll be in serious danger or

> ringing his back door bell.

Urrgghh! I have to say I've never been one to visit The Tradesmans Entrance(6)B)

I'll be more careful where I stick my digit in future...:))

  • 1 month later...

In an attempt to save this thread from descending into utter un-poo-related filth (which it already has, to some extent) I thought I'd add my 'Mystery Pooper' anecdote:

When staying the night at my best friend's house, in the morning she went out to bring the milk in and there was a big, fresh turd plonked directly in the middle of the four bottles.

Now either there is a cat in our area with incredible aim, or (more likely) THE MYSTERY POOPER STRIKES AGAIN. :-S

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • I don’t think Reform will withstand the heat of any election.  Finding enough people to stand will be bad enough. Finding credible ones quite a bid tougher  I think yes this government is lacking in a long term plan and has not had a good first year. Today the least.   but the speed with which this was dealt with is a notable shift compared to last 14 years where months would drag by and we would constantly be told to draw a line under  if Labour called an election tomorrow, there is not a single party that could present a better alternative with any credibility. And that’s a low bar Reform are dangerous lunatics but more worrying is the descent of the Tories into the same swamp i also worry that England voters have contracted some melodrama virus after the Tories where we had 5 PMs in almost as many years  it’s ok for governments to be unpopular without needing to have an election every 1-2 years      
    • Well, I made £50 out of it and Alice owes me another bullseye, so I had a good day Clearly the thread has moved on, but just a final few words on Rayner (from me, at least). If she hadn't gone like this (with a chance to revive her career at some point in the future) there's plenty of other stuff loaded up and ready to be fired at her about the motivation, finances and machinations of her move down South. It's not pretty reading. Tawdry doesn't come close. I was born in Ashton Hospital and grew up in Tameside, I've got a lot of friends and family who weren't as lucky as me and didn't make it out, some close to her constituency party, and there's been a lot of bad feeling around 'Our Ange' for a long time. My favourite quote was: 'She should fuck off back to Stockport.' And that was from a party member. The writing was on the wall for her. Moving from Ashton (majority c6.5k, large Pakistani minority, but predominantly white working class and targeted by both the Independent Alliance and Reform) to Hove (majority c20k, neither of these issues with the electorate) was a pretty cynical move, and she's fucked it royally. 'The Honourable Member for Hove and Portslade' will be sleeping a lot easier in their bed tonight. This thread was never supposed to about Labour bashing, and I'm not sure it is. It's definitely descended into 'Whataboutery', and that seems to be the problem, in my mind at least, with British politics. It's playground stuff, he said/she said, blame-game bollocks. Watch PMQs and ask yourself if you'd accept this sort of behaviour amongst toddlers, let alone in an elected parliament. One thing that does stand out is the opposition to Reform across the board, and yet we seem to be sleepwalking towards a likely scenario where Farage could head up a minority Reform government. I've 'followed' politics since the late Seventies - mainly because the BBC News came on right after 'Roobard and Custard' or 'The Magic Roundabout' - and I can't remember an era where both major parties are so bereft of leadership, direction or ideas. There's a certain irony that we'll all be getting a test text on Sunday to warn us of an impending 'National Emergency'. Seems quite prescient.
    • But not old enough to remember the highest unemployment rate, inflation and interest rates in history in the early eighties under the Tories? A rather selective memory you have. There has never been a four-day week: it was a three-day week imposed by the Conservative government under the Blasted Heath.
    • I see that there was a government consultation started in July 2024, a response, and then a revision to the National Planning Policy Framework, and then to the Green Belt guidance in February 2025, https://www.gov.uk/guidance/green-belt .  It includes the updates but doesn't give the nescient much clue of what was materially changed. There will probably be some good, and less good, summaries to be found. 
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...